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What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 1:46:08 PM

MisterP61

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OK, I am starting this thread so I can find out what funny things as human beings we have done to ourselfs that make us laugh (as laughter is a great way to deal with our own humanness).

I have to wear reading glasses now for the past 5 years, something that just crept up on Me in My old age. I can read road signs and such just fine, but this dam small type gives Me fits if I try to read it.

As most people know LadyPact and I have just moved across this great country to California, and We still have a lot of unpacking to do. I was taking a break from the tedium and reading some of the forums here on CM. So I get up to grab a Dr. Pepper from the refrigerator, and as I will get serious vertigo and headaches if I wear My glasses for anything but reading, I lifted My glasses to the top of My head. Being the forgetful type on small things like that (I constantly have to ask if any one has seen My glasses or the case), I went outside to do a little more work. No problem there. As I am unpacking boxes in the garage, which is almost enirely in the sun at this time of day, I see a little whisp of smoke go by My eyes, and knowing I had not lit a ciggarette I knew immediately it was strange. Then I feel a very uncomfortable warm feeling on top of My head. Yep, you guessed it, the glasses where acting like a magnifying glass and was starting to flambe my hair. No damage done, but I have to admit that it made Me laugh My ass off at the thought of Me doing my <insert famous person name here> impression. I know it could have been bad, but to Me that is what makes it so dam funny.

So what have you done that could have been really bad, but made you laugh your ass off?

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 1:52:59 PM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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OMG, MrP!!! LMAO!!!!

At work, I was sending a fax for a guest. The fax machine is in an alcove separated from the front desk by a divider wall. I was standing there, watching to make sure the machine took the pages of the fax one at a time when the guest asked me a question. I turned my head... and promptly smacked my forehead on the corner of the divider wall...

instantly, I had a HUGE lump (it felt like a fingertip)... so for the rest of my shift I had to walk around with and icepack on my head...

Well, *I* thought it was funny ;)

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 1:57:18 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
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I wanted to start a Camp Fire...... Quickly.

Grabed the Coleman Fuel (Yeah it's White Gas) and poured about half of the can on the wood and then started sparking strike anywhere matches which for some strange reason were not striking. about 2 minutes later I finally got one to Ignite.........

Before I finish this story let me explain why the White Gas Coleman Lantern Fuel was a BAD idea. White Gas has a longer lasting Combustable fuel cloud that accompanies it as the Fumes are extremely comfortable. The Cloud is Heavy so it sticks around the 2 1/2 to 3 ft level and well that is why all the sparking up hig didn't cause it to ignite. However once I got the match lit and the cloud had rolled out away from the fire pit I dropped in the match.

This Ignited the Cloud and Took out Two of the plastic mesh Tents which were in my opinion too close to the Fire pit to begin with but that is how they wanted it and everyone within a 7 ft radius of the fire pit spent the remainder of the summer without leg hair.

After I realized I was no longer on fire we all looked at one another and I was standing there like Wile E Coyote after the ACME Rocket Explodes all of us laughed and laughed and laughed except for the two guys who were putting out their tents who were mad as hell that none of us were helping and thought we were all laughing at them.

Those guys don't camp anymore, but should they ever do so again you can bet their tents will be the furthest away from the fire.

Steel

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 2:06:44 PM

mrbob726

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After a winter stay in Florida a few years back, we decided to take a cruise out of Miami. Parked in the big open parking lot (it's now all parking garages), hustled the last of the small baggage to the embarcation point, and took off for the weeks cruise. About halfway through the week, I remarked to my wife that I didn't seem to have my keys. To make a long story short, we returned to port, and found that the car had been locked, the motor left running, and of course, fuel all used up, and batttery dead. Talk about feeling like a penny waiting for change!!

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 2:14:14 PM

seababy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61
Yep, you guessed it, the glasses where acting like a magnifying glass and was starting to flambe my hair.

Wrath of the ant god!

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 2:14:16 PM

Lucylastic

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I came out of the docs office the other day and opened the car door to get in making a smoochy face at my hubby who had come to pick me up....only to find myself nose to lips of a huge black guy, he looked somewhat surprised (hah to say the least). Im saying, "you arent my hubby" and giggled like a freak.He said "er no maam Im not" and started laughing, I hear a loud honk, so I look out and bang my head on the door roof edgy thing and see my old man draped over the steering wheel honking with laughter, I apaologised or being a daft tart and tried to leave with some dignity....he kindly waved but he was still laughing.
My husband was crying with laughter, I got some strange looks from passers by too, so I did what I could do best crawled into the seat with my head down..... it turns out the car is identical to ours, so Im not completely bonkers.
Lucy

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 2:15:15 PM

GreedyTop

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omg, Lucy...LOL

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 2:33:15 PM

pyroaquatic

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Well... when I went to Rocky Horror Picture show in Cleveland I was dressed in a black and white motif... as a lady. Black and white mary janes, black and white stockings, black and white pleated skirt... shirt... black wig....

even make-up.

What can I say I look hot as a woman. I have womanly curves. I don't cross dress anymore... but that is not the point.

Well, on our way into the Event a random black guy came up to me and whipped out his dick. A short chub of a thing that I could tell was at full mast. Poor guy.
I leaned over and whispered into his ear "Mine's bigger" and cackled as I walked away.

Ahhh. The look on his face and the "WHAT!!" was hilarious. As was his gaggle of friends who asked him what I said. I picked up a nervous "she's a dyke lesbo and not into dick"

----

In hindsight I was glad I had a group of friends and pepper spray. It could of been dangerous but the night was incredibly fun.

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 4:18:42 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61
As I am unpacking boxes in the garage, which is almost enirely in the sun at this time of day, I see a little whisp of smoke go by My eyes, and knowing I had not lit a ciggarette I knew immediately it was strange. Then I feel a very uncomfortable warm feeling on top of My head. Yep, you guessed it, the glasses where acting like a magnifying glass and was starting to flame my hair.

Sure. I've been doing fire play for how many years now? Won't let Me set him on fire and lets the eyeglasses have all of the fun.

<Grumbles, kicks dirt, and walks off.>

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 4:35:38 PM

beargonewild

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Several years ago, I was on a board of Directors for a Community Center and the editor to the monthly newsletter. After a fairly intense two hour board meeting and it came time to schedule our next meeting which we all pulled out our day planners and started offering suggestions. Finally after about 10 minutes of finding a suitable date which worked for everyone, I got asked if that specific date is good for me. Not thinking, I piped up and replied, "I'm quite flexible on the dates." It wasn't until there was dead silence when I realized exactly what I said. I looked up, feeling my face turn red as my fellow board members broke out in hysterical laughter.

Some days it just doesn't pay to say anything.

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 6:20:28 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61
As I am unpacking boxes in the garage, which is almost enirely in the sun at this time of day, I see a little whisp of smoke go by My eyes, and knowing I had not lit a ciggarette I knew immediately it was strange. Then I feel a very uncomfortable warm feeling on top of My head. Yep, you guessed it, the glasses where acting like a magnifying glass and was starting to flame my hair.

Sure. I've been doing fire play for how many years now? Won't let Me set him on fire and lets the eyeglasses have all of the fun.

<Grumbles, kicks dirt, and walks off.>

Men.. whatcha gonna do??

*snort*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyPact)

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 7:31:36 PM

impishlilhellcat

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Joined: 3/26/2006
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I'm one hundred percent a klutz...

In high school I played soccer. The team we were playing had fouled us and we had a penalty kick. I had a pretty strong accurate kick, but I liked to get up some speed to help the process along. So I go running and all of a sudden I trip and fall over the ball not even touching it. I thought it was wildly hilarious and so did everyone else.

When I was working on my bachelors degree I was all loaded down with books in my backpack and trekking my way across campus. There was a huge hill downwards in the middle of campus. I go wandering down the hill and I get off kilter because of the weight of my backpack and instead of walking I go tumbling down. So cute guy helped me up all the while I'm laughing hysterically.

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/8/2009 9:32:19 PM

Arpig

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A few years back we were cooking a casserole. I put on the oven mitts and took it out of the oven, placed it on the stove top, took off the mitts, and grabbed the knob on the glass top with my bare hand. I dropped the lid right away and said "Fuck! That was stupid!" My daughter still teases me about it to this day.

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/9/2009 12:51:15 AM

MysticFireTopaz

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When I was 17 and a senior in high school, I was experimenting with different hair colors. One day it was blonde, and I decided I wanted it to be ash brown. When I applied the new color over the old, my hair turned green!

I made an appointment at a hairdressers the next afternoon to have the color fixed, but for one day I had to go to school with green hair. I found a scarf and put it over my hair, but a few strands slipped out and I was just mortified.

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/9/2009 3:22:41 AM

MisterP61

Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61
As I am unpacking boxes in the garage, which is almost enirely in the sun at this time of day, I see a little whisp of smoke go by My eyes, and knowing I had not lit a ciggarette I knew immediately it was strange. Then I feel a very uncomfortable warm feeling on top of My head. Yep, you guessed it, the glasses where acting like a magnifying glass and was starting to flame my hair.

Sure. I've been doing fire play for how many years now? Won't let Me set him on fire and lets the eyeglasses have all of the fun.

<Grumbles, kicks dirt, and walks off.>

Men.. whatcha gonna do??

*snort*

What can I say except

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 15

RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/9/2009 4:08:29 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

I wanted to start a Camp Fire...... Quickly.

Grabed the Coleman Fuel (Yeah it's White Gas) and poured about half of the can on the wood and then started sparking strike anywhere matches which for some strange reason were not striking. about 2 minutes later I finally got one to Ignite.........

Before I finish this story let me explain why the White Gas Coleman Lantern Fuel was a BAD idea. White Gas has a longer lasting Combustable fuel cloud that accompanies it as the Fumes are extremely comfortable. The Cloud is Heavy so it sticks around the 2 1/2 to 3 ft level and well that is why all the sparking up hig didn't cause it to ignite. However once I got the match lit and the cloud had rolled out away from the fire pit I dropped in the match.

This Ignited the Cloud and Took out Two of the plastic mesh Tents which were in my opinion too close to the Fire pit to begin with but that is how they wanted it and everyone within a 7 ft radius of the fire pit spent the remainder of the summer without leg hair.

After I realized I was no longer on fire we all looked at one another and I was standing there like Wile E Coyote after the ACME Rocket Explodes all of us laughed and laughed and laughed except for the two guys who were putting out their tents who were mad as hell that none of us were helping and thought we were all laughing at them.

Those guys don't camp anymore, but should they ever do so again you can bet their tents will be the furthest away from the fire.

Steel

Steel, Sweetie...my guess is they in fact DO still camp...they just don't let you know

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/9/2009 4:25:09 AM

KMsAngel

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speaking with the voice of experience, holly?

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/9/2009 4:36:14 AM

sirsholly

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perhaps a teeny tiny little bit...

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/9/2009 4:43:06 AM

IrishMist

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The worse that I laugh about is, when I was in high school, I worked part time at this deli. I was opening a new thing of salami ( a whole salami )...the plastic that they wrap that shit in is pretty tough. Any way, I was, like an idiot who knows better ( my father used to be a meat cutter and taught us all the proper way of using knives when cutting )...anyway, I was cutting the plastic off and like an idiot I was cutting towards me because it was giving me a hard time.

The knife slipped through the plastic and the tip of the knife ended right at my sternum...

uh huh

Eye opening moment.

Nothing like looking down and seeing the point of a very sharp knife poking at your heart.

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RE: What heve you done to yourself that makes you laugh? - 8/9/2009 4:48:38 AM

GoddessImaginos

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Well.. I was going to tell about the time I was walking home from the store (sober) along a busy street full of other pedestrians and passing traffic, chatting with My friend who had accompanied Me thence, and walked slap into a metal traffic light pole *WHANG*, but.. these stories all seem to trump Mine..

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