RE: Proof of Life ~~ Know your contacts

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RE: Proof of Life ~~ Know your contacts - 8/10/2009 7:48:18 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

And how, exactly, do you meet people with all the rigid rules involved?

Give me a time and a place and I'll be there locally EVERYTIME.

If there is Distance involved this is where the problem starts. There is nothing to invest in meeting someone locally, if they aren't there or aren't what they said they were or just aren't very interesting then I am out nothing but some of my time. If however you are a state or two away, then time must be invested from loss of time at work or just a lost weekend to the fuel, lodging, and feeding that will cost while there. Due to this I request some form of investment. If I am invested in you I am willing to spend that, I am willing to take that time, but in order for me to want to be invested in you I have requirements before I am willing to do so.

I am NOT just some screen name, I will meet anyone, I will have you in my home, I will even put you up if you need a place to stay, friends can always find a very uncomfortable Hide-a-bed and a hard to sleep on Davenport at your disposal and they are open to anyone I call friend. If it is going to be something that is going to the direction of a romantic relationship there are TWO comfort levels that need to be met. Just as important as THEIR Comfort Level is MY comfort level and If I am being told that my comfort level is going to have to take a side step to theirs well I have the option of deciding if I am willing to accpet that and as a usual case the answer is No I am not willing to put my comfort aside for yours.

You could be the best submissive in the world, and be the one who will serve me for the rest of my days, if you are not willing to give the truely LITTLE that I request in order meet my comfort level then my decision will always be to walk away. Sure it makes my search longer but it makes me comfortable and to me that is important.

Steel

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

I can answer that another way. I think I understand your impatience, but I also think you are doing what I see so many people on the collarme personals doing: cutting themselves off from potentially wonderful contacts with rules and restrictions and "they must do that's" and "they must do this's." You'll tend to attract a certain type of personality with your rules, and if that is the personality you like, more power to you. But others, who might be very good submissives but just reserved, loathe their bodies, had bad experiences with giving out too much information to men too soon, or all of the above will never be a part of your sphere. A lot of women online have genuine fear of male contact and need to reassure themselves that you are safe before they give up the goods, even little goods like a phone number.

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RE: Proof of Life ~~ Know your contacts - 8/10/2009 9:47:04 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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As far as the four pics goes, they could just raid someone's photo sharing account (ie. photobucket). *shrugs*

Personally, I had trouble getting my pics approved for the first couple of months I was here. They weren't denied, just went into limbo. I didn't share any face closeups with guys I was going to meet, since I'd heard of a few women having their pictures spread around by people they'd met on kinky personals site or having guys threaten to out them. I did share some clothed body pictures, though. Trading phone numbers - usually they gave me theirs first, and I used *67 the first couple of times I called, but I gave them mine before we met, in case there was traffic or something. I generally tried to meet pretty quickly, but the exact timing varied depending on our schedules and such. I met about 2 dozen guys, and one couple from here, during the 4 months I was looking. Two of them contacted me rather inappropriately afterward (just by e-mail, not by phone), but I didn't have any problems with the others.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your criteria, if it works for you, but I personally wouldn't be comfortable with complying *before* talking with the other person at all. I do think it's smart to keep in mind that most women are more nervous about sharing personal, identifiable information than men are, so that will limit your options. Since you have your two ladies now, I didn't think you were looking anyway.

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RE: Proof of Life ~~ Know your contacts - 8/10/2009 9:58:47 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
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To be honest, the more drama there is involved in the "meet", the less likely I am that I'll want to meet in the first place. I figure that people know who I am because I've been so out in the community and online over the last decade that if they don't know who I am, I probably don't want to meet them anyway. I've found that the people who are overcome with the need to add so many layers to just meeting tend to be people who aren't ever going to meet in the first place. I find them to be a waste of time, and it's just not worth it to me.

When I go to meet someone for the first time, I'm really going to meet a person and her personality. I don't need "full body shots" of her; a facial picture would be nice so I can at least steer myself to the right person when we do meet (been at coffee shops before where I think I ended up meeting three women who were pretty cool before I actually found the person who was supposed to meet me in the first place).

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RE: Proof of Life ~~ Know your contacts - 8/11/2009 5:08:18 AM

ShiftedJewel

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Joined: 12/2/2004
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I've only had someone ask me for a copy of my DL once... and I told them it wasn't gonna happen!! I did offer up contact info for a group we belonged to at the time, nothing more then contact info, they were free to talk to anyone in the group they wanted. I also included the number for the local PD, which is a block from our home. She was coming over from England and I'm the one that insisted that she get some info to give to the folks at home. She had my house phone, my cell phone, my full name and address... and countless pics.

For me though? If I think it's kind of fishy? I'll ask for a pic with proof of date on it. Be holding a news paper or something like that. I've been screwed too many times and web cams are cheap, you can take the pic of your choice and email it. Sorry, I can't think of any decent excuses.

When I first started out here I didn't have any sort of a digital or web cam, but I managed to do pics! I went to Sears, took a floppy with me, put it into one of the many puters they had on display there, took my pic, saved it to the disk and took it home. Tah dah... I had pics. Granted they all had the home office dept of Sears for backgrounds, but they were still pics.

Ok, still half asleep, hope that made sense.

Jewel

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