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SweetDommes -> RE: Financial issues (3/7/2006 10:41:57 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
quote:
While male subs out number Dommes 100:1 and many of the relationships between those depend on money being given to the Domme in one form or another.
No-one can deny that fact.
Where is the scientific research to support that 'fact' because I'd like to read that research for myself.
Celeste
Yeah, I'm rather interested in it myself - since we've talked to many many submissives, and the closest we have come to asking them for money was a discussion of "if you move in, you will be expected to have at least a part time job to help with the bills." And you'd be amazed at how many balked at that - either because we would expect them to give up some of their money (to pay bills they helped to run up), or because they wanted to stay at home and be houseboys full time *rolls eyes*
For us, financial domination isn't our style - too much work, too much stress. Plus there is the fact that I, alone, make as much as all three of the other members of this household combined (and that's with rob having two jobs now). Why on earth would I want to control another $200/week from each of them when I don't want control of the $1,000/week or so that I make? That's Holly's job and she can have it.
But even then, she doesn't want all of their money. The corporal gives about $600/month to help with the mortgage and other bills, as well as the animals (he has adopted one of the cats as his, as well as brought in a toad, and a bunch of fish to add to our zoo; it's not like we're making him help pay for them when he doesn't have anything to do with them) - rob has always given us a little over half of what he makes, which varies depending on which job he's working and how many hours he gets at each. The closest thing to financial domination we get now that we have our two boys and we're all living together is that we insisted that the corporal get a savings account ... he had no money saved when we got together - he lived from paycheck to paycheck ... never starving on payday or anything, but still. Now, after almost 6 months (through me being unemployed for a month and him being off work for 3 weeks - both due to the same incident of him being injured by an inmate) he has about $250 saved. This may not seem like much, but that's a lot more money than he has had saved any time in the last 5 years. The money is in an account with his name on it - HE insisted that it have my name on it as well, which doesn't exactly make me happy, but this way I can go get money out for him if he doesn't have time to.
In my experience with r/l interactions with people - Dominants of both genders have expected money out of their submissives of both genders. This is NOT a strictly F/m phenomenon. I know F/f couples where the submissive is expected to turn over any and all earnings to the Dominant - same for M/f and M/m (although, in all honesty, I only know one M/m couple in r/l ... so they might be the exception?). I also know couples where the submissive actually does all the budgeting and such, because they are just better at it than the Dominant. Dominants and submissives are supposed to complement each other - if one is good at something and one isn't, it makes sense that the one who is good at it should do it, no matter which one is the Dominant.
And now that I've gotten way off track with respect to the OP - I think you need to understand that, for whatever reason, your question was misinterpreted. Tasha had a good suggestion on how to rephrase it for your next go around with a Domme, think about that for awhile. Eventually, you'll talk to someone else (or maybe her - she may see this thread and realize that you weren't being a jerk by asking) and you'll have the opportunity to bring the topic up again.
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