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NBCNCO -> RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle (8/12/2009 9:24:02 AM)
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I have found that most (not quite all, though!) people on here are very understanding and while they are usually quick to point out a misstep, they are not easily offended. I don't think you'll easily put anyone off since you're clearly seeking to better understand yourself and this lifestyle. You don't really need any help from anyone who's so impatient he can't take the time to set you straight.
I have met a bunch of great people on here and learned TONS about BDSM and about what it is that I seek from the lifestyle, and in just a few days. I've also been told that I'm a poseur, that I'm not dominant, that I'm a vanilla trying to pass myself off as a Dom. Yes, I'm new to what I refer to as BDSM, but I am not new to the concept of having a lifestyle. I've been a lot of things in three and a half decades. A soldier, a college student, a teenager, a working professional, a lover, a young bachelor living on his own. Every time, I had to start out as someone new to the lifestyle. Even if you've been dominating women for forty years, you still have to acknowledge that at some point in your life you were entirely dependent on a woman to be fed and kept clean.
So I think that for a while, you won't know. And you won't know what the words, "the lifestyle" mean to you. You may come with certain ideas about what you think defines you, and discard all of them after you've had enough experience to make that call. As you probably agree now, it's not experience in sex, but experience as a Dom, or a Sub, or whatever you want to call yourself. You probably have enough sense not to, but just in case it's reassuring to hear it, don't let anyone else tell you who you are. You are the only one who can answer that.
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