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Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 2:59:05 PM   
Masterntn


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		I am curious as to what anyone's thoughts are as far as integrity in a sub.  I am going to pose a couple of scenario's that has happened to me in the past and would like to know what others opinions are as far as if the sub was out of line or not. 

The sub in question, who will remain nameless, committed to me and came to me several times professing her devotion and loyalty.  After a very intense session, we left each other to which again she professed her desire and loyalty to me.  That was the last time I heard from this sub for several months.  Out of the blue she messaged me and started telling me that I was fake, and had no clue as to what being a Dom was. That she had moved to Michigan, found another Dom and was living with him.  In turn this new Dom contacts me and also makes the same statements, flaunting his conquest.  For days I endure a verbal barrage of profanities and factless accusations from someone that I had not even contacted in the first place.  This sub was cared for, provided for, loved and cherrished.  So there were no contributing factors for her leaving other than her own will. 

another scenario.  An online contact is made to a slave stating she is not human but a piece of meet and that she wants to be used. The request is simply asking for chat alone.  No other requests are made and proper etiquet and grammar are used.  The response to this request is not greated with a hello or any other introduction.  The only thing written in the response is "Send me a pic now" 

What are your reactions and thoughts to both of these scenarios. 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 3:10:16 PM   
NyDaddysGirl


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		#1 Reaction:  Block
    Thoughts:  The sub is someone else's problem now

#2 Reaction:  Block
    Thoughts:  The sub is shallow and not at all close to what is depicted in the profile.



_____________________________

I have no fear of falling, I just hate hitting the ground ~ Badlees

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 3:11:35 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Do you really need an answer to these questions?

It is nothing to do with submissives integrity just bad apples

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 3:13:32 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		ignore
delete


(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 3:17:43 PM   
Masterntn


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		Lets take this a bit further.  Do the actions of these subs have any direct correlation as to how other subs are perceived and treated?

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 3:22:26 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		These encounters are par for the course, especially on this free website. Absolutely standard. Many people have had similar or much worse. After decades of online interaction, I work from the assumption that at least 90% of the people I meet over a computer are insane, whether it's obvious from the start or not. It's stood me in good stead. If you're going to survive here or maybe on other personals sites too, you need to toughen up and not take everything so personally. Complaining loudly on a public board about something that most of us just deal with silently is not a promising sign, however. Many of the people who would not do those kinds of things to you ever (and whom you might desire to meet) intensely dislike whiners because they appear as weak and as insane as the people they criticize. I know that's a bit harsh and it might not apply to you personally but it's been my experience. You've got an axe to grind, you want to get validation for your point of view from others, you want to try to publically shame someone who was "mean" to you, fine do all that but don't expect people to be impressed with your dominance based on these actions.

(in reply to NyDaddysGirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 3:23:11 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterntn

Lets take this a bit further. Do the actions of these subs have any direct correlation as to how other subs are perceived and treated?


About as much as a bloke pinching your ass in a pub does for the entire male gender

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 3:23:28 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm assuming the last, intense session was extremely difficult for her, and in fact pushed limits she wasn't ready to let you push. That she lost trust in you as a result of you barrelling straight ahead and did so to such a degree she never wanted to speak to you again.

Why would she want to contact you know to tell you all this? Because she needed to confront you in order to move on with healing. Why did he contact you? To prove to her that he isn't like you and will protect her, not harm her.

Since you didn't make any effort to contact her apparently after that last session I have to assume you didn't have a full relationship. I can tell you that when I got scared by The Man, he didn't just accept my hiding. He drove three hours to see me and talk to me, and then back down the three hours to go to work the next day.



_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 3:32:32 PM   
Masterntn


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		to clear up any misconceptions for those of you that want to assume.  There is no validation needed here. If you cannot take this for what it is a simply forum then that is your mistake for assuming.  Also you should not assume more or less facts than what was presented.  Again if you do so you are assuming and using the old addage, you know what happens when you assume.  So for those that are commenting intelligently thank you. Those that are now being rude, my point proven! 

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 3:32:49 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm sure for some "Doms" there is a correlation to how they treat other subs.

They're not what I would call "Doms" though and definitely not one I would be interested in as even a friend.

It would indicate to me that they hold grudges and anger....kinda like the men who think all women are bitches because his ex wife treated him badly...yeah...not something I find attractive at all in anyone.

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 3:37:10 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...What are your reactions and thoughts to both of these scenarios...


it would be interesting to hear the other side of the story, to get a better idea of the scenario...but that's about it.

quote:

...Do the actions of these subs have any direct correlation as to how other subs are perceived and treated?...


it could...depending on the intellect of those perceiving and treating the other subs...but it shouldn't, because "subs" are not all cut from the same cloth.

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 3:39:43 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterntn

I am curious as to what anyone's thoughts are as far as integrity in a sub.  I am going to pose a couple of scenario's that has happened to me in the past and would like to know what others opinions are as far as if the sub was out of line or not. 


Integrity has nothing to do with one's orientation. It's a people thing, not a dom/sub thing.

quote:

there were no contributing factors for her leaving other than her own will. 


And that is all one needs. That said, just because 'you' didn't see any other contributing factors doesn't mean that she felt the same.

quote:

another scenario.  An online contact is made to a slave stating she is not human but a piece of meet and that she wants to be used. The request is simply asking for chat alone.  No other requests are made and proper etiquet and grammar are used.  The response to this request is not greated with a hello or any other introduction.  The only thing written in the response is "Send me a pic now" 


You expect a piece of meat to engage in pleasant banter or casual conversation? You need to learn to recognize when someone is looking for quick thrills or wank fodder as opposed to relationships.

Chalk it up to being incompatible and move it along.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 4:08:29 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterntn

There is no validation needed here.



quote:

Those that are now being rude, my point proven!






_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 4:40:49 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

These encounters are par for the course, especially on this free website. Absolutely standard. Many people have had similar or much worse. After decades of online interaction, I work from the assumption that at least 90% of the people I meet over a computer are insane, whether it's obvious from the start or not. It's stood me in good stead. If you're going to survive here or maybe on other personals sites too, you need to toughen up and not take everything so personally. Complaining loudly on a public board about something that most of us just deal with silently is not a promising sign, however. Many of the people who would not do those kinds of things to you ever (and whom you might desire to meet) intensely dislike whiners because they appear as weak and as insane as the people they criticize. I know that's a bit harsh and it might not apply to you personally but it's been my experience. You've got an axe to grind, you want to get validation for your point of view from others, you want to try to publically shame someone who was "mean" to you, fine do all that but don't expect people to be impressed with your dominance based on these actions.


Amen. This is why I advise against the giving away of personal info too quickly, since yes, many people who haunt these sites are in fact deranged or even violent. For every crazed woman, there is a counterpart of a crazed male. (maybe we could match them up?)
I would have sympathy for a woman who was stalked and raped by a person from online- but a Man who suffers nothing more than embarrassment and inconvenience?

meh.

(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 6:14:18 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		For #1 delete/ignore

For #2, I don't speak to anyone until I see a picture about anything. I have the balls to have mine so "you" need to have one or provide one. To me you should have provided one with your initial contact, after all I would not open my door to someone that would not show there face would you?

Mike

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 6:27:39 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterntn
Lets take this a bit further.  Do the actions of these subs have any direct correlation as to how other subs are perceived and treated?

I cannot understand why you've come to ask these rather rhetorical questions. You might've well as asked, "Are bad people bad?" I have to wonder what the actual purpose of this post is. But I do not believe it was to obtain answers to these questions as stated.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/10/2009 11:26:22 PM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		To paraphrase an old adage... Who is more foolish, the fool or the person who invited the fool into their life?

Nobody is perfect. Move on, with the knowledge you have gained. Learn from the past so you do not repeat it.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/11/2009 3:49:29 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterntn

I am curious as to what anyone's thoughts are as far as integrity in a sub.  I am going to pose a couple of scenario's that has happened to me in the past and would like to know what others opinions are as far as if the sub was out of line or not. 

The sub in question, who will remain nameless, committed to me and came to me several times professing her devotion and loyalty.  After a very intense session, we left each other to which again she professed her desire and loyalty to me.  That was the last time I heard from this sub for several months.  Out of the blue she messaged me and started telling me that I was fake, and had no clue as to what being a Dom was. That she had moved to Michigan, found another Dom and was living with him.  In turn this new Dom contacts me and also makes the same statements, flaunting his conquest.  For days I endure a verbal barrage of profanities and factless accusations from someone that I had not even contacted in the first place.  This sub was cared for, provided for, loved and cherrished.  So there were no contributing factors for her leaving other than her own will. 

another scenario.  An online contact is made to a slave stating she is not human but a piece of meet and that she wants to be used. The request is simply asking for chat alone.  No other requests are made and proper etiquet and grammar are used.  The response to this request is not greated with a hello or any other introduction.  The only thing written in the response is "Send me a pic now" 

What are your reactions and thoughts to both of these scenarios. 


Well I am afraid I would be highly suspect of anyone who professed loyalty and devotion of such magnitude after one scene, no mater how intense. I would ask the OP why he would view or respond to emails of such a nature after seeing the content of the first one. I do not see any reason for you to receive such an email, it makes no sense. I would suggest that your torturers are very unbalanced individuals.

I think your second email, the piece of meat, was sent out to you as some sort of joke or boredom


< Message edited by Acer49 -- 8/11/2009 3:50:00 AM >

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/11/2009 9:51:16 AM   
badlilthang


Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

After a very intense session, we left each other to which again she professed her desire and loyalty to me. That was the last time I heard from this sub for several months.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterntn


my only thought here on the first scenario was - why did You not contact her? If not for anything else but to check if she was ok after the intense session..By not initiating any contact after that - she jumped to her own conclusions - You not being that into her - so she moved on.

second is - block and move on.




_____________________________

.Forgiveness is the fragrance a flower leaves in the air after being crushed underfoot.

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Subs Integrity - 8/11/2009 10:03:31 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Also you should not assume more or less facts than what was presented.


Other than concluding you're barking up the wrong tree looking at lack of integrity as a cause, you need to understand that assuming is what I do when there is a dearth of information. you have described two scenarios in very few words, you're clearly used to managing the information you give to others. That's not "open" and that is why some will make assumptions - there isn't anything wrong with them, but you should understand a lack of information makes it impossible to respond intelligently.

Integrity, as others have observed, has no bearing on this. Integrity comes into play with people you know, business acquaintances, a longer term partner, a colleague, etc. Not with a passing sub you do not know.

Scondly, perhaps some of what's missing comes out here - the second sub emails you to say she wants a picture? Does that mean you introduce yourself without a picture? Then that is a perfectly normal and acceptable response - introducing yourself without letting the other person see what you look like is common, and usually done by people who have something to hide. I am confused as to why you would think etiquette and grammar are all that's needed to connect with someone.

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 20
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