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Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 10:27:44 AM

shadowowl

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/31/2004
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Just curious if some of you that have actually relocated could share your experiences. There are a lot of subs/slaves and even dom/mes that are willing to relocate but don't always take into account the reality of actually moving to a new city or even a new country.
I relocated for my first Mistress whom I married for immigration purposes to get into the USA from Canada I don't regret it but there where a lot of complications and stress as a result of not understanding paperwork involved. things obviously didn't work out as I'm no longer with her but it was a learning experience. I am still willing to relocate maybe a little be older and wiser but not jaded. curious to hear some other success or unsuccessful experiences from others.

Post #: 1

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 10:34:07 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
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What to say?

I have also found this a stumbling block. It can be done, of course, and is, but it can bring up a host of problems, difficulties that can slowly end what might have been fine if not for the huge life change of relocation.

I keep the door open, and play with more local girls in the interim.

Good luck.

(in reply to shadowowl)

Post #: 2

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 10:42:41 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

A short list of some of my challenges:

Getting all the paperwork together to apply for immigration
Waiting for immigration approval (US to Canada)
Moving all my stuff and three cats over 3,000 miles away to Northern Alberta
Getting used to not see the darkness for a couple months in the Summer
Combining all our stuff into one house (thank goodness it is a big house)
Getting the cats to adjust to a new home, four kids and two other cats and a dog
Getting a new job
Finding a new hairdresser
Learning where to shop (easier in a really small town)
Learning a new town
Getting used to seeing deer, bears, moose around town
Not being able to travel as much as we like (being 6 hours from an International Airport makes it challenging)

Those are the ones on the top of my head... but no matter what the challenges were or are they do not compare to the challenges of living apart.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to shadowowl)

Post #: 3

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 11:12:36 AM

olena

Posts: 97
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline

I have moved from a different country and culture successfully and moved to another state that the relationship did not work.

Not having friends and maybe family for a support system both times was the most difficult thing. I do not care about modern communication technology it still not a substitute for being able to see and talk to them in person and getting out of the home. To me the isolation and getting a new life as an individual as well as nurturing your new relationship so it blossoms and not suffocating it because of your new found isolation was the most difficult thing.

My advice in overcoming it is for both people to keep their eyes open and work on getting the one who relocates to establish roots in the city they move to by having social friends and activities they can call their own. I have known many women who move to a man and see themselves miserable and in turn torpedo the relationship as the man even not consciously keeps them isolated by not thinking or doing anything to let her find herself in her new place. Do not mean to be sexist and this could be switched around.

(in reply to shadowowl)

Post #: 4

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 11:24:33 AM

shadowowl

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/31/2004
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actually my unsuccesfull relocation probably had a lot to do with me being isolated, though as a result of being isolated so long now that I am alone I find I don't really go out much like I use to before that relationship,

(in reply to olena)

Post #: 5

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 11:27:26 AM

SweetNika

Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline

When I meet my former owner I lived in California and he lived in New York. After about a year of planning and making preporations me and my children relocated to the East Coast. Although he lived in NY, I choose not to move to NY because of the cost of living. After ALOT of research I choose Harford County, MD. It was close enough to NY but still affordable. I had a job lined up before moving as well as an apartment. It would seem everything was working as planed until there was a miscommunication with the landlord of the apt. I was going to rent and I found myself staying in a motel (effeciency) with my kids until I found another apartment. He moved from NY several months later.

It was a culture shock at 1st but now this is home and even though Phoenix and I are no longer together, I am thankful that my children and I found a place here. Found ourselves here.

I am not sure if I would EVER relocate out of this general area, my life is here but more importantly my children's lives are here.

< Message edited by SweetNika -- 8/11/2009 11:29:20 AM >

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika

(in reply to olena)

Post #: 6

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 11:37:33 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

I moved to St George Utah from Las Vegas NV to be with a submissive who eventually got pregnant told me the kid wasn't mine threw me out and instead of leaving I moved into a clean and sober house untill I met andi got her pregnant and got married and then found out that the girl I moved out here to be with who had gotten pregnant had lied and the kid actually was mine and so now I pay child support.

Yeah Re-location can be a BITCH!!

The best advice I can give is prepare to move as if you were doing it all on your own. Don't move till you can afford to and make sure you have a savings account with a MINIMUM of two months rent just in case things don't work out and you need to find your own place...................

Finally don't move to something where that person is the ONLY reason you are moving. I stayed because I didn't want to go back to vegas with my tail between my legs I wanted to make the best of a BAD situation. St George is now my home, I love it here, it took some time and it was difficult but it eventually worked out for the best I met both of my slaves in this town and think about it I live in St George UTAH!!!!

Have requirements for moving and STICK TO YOUR GUNS. Things can get VERY bad but that is the case with EVERYTHING in life.

Steel

_____________________________

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(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 7

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 12:11:00 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

I relocated as well. It was a journey to say the least.

My advice would be to visit the place you are going to relocate to for a few dozen times and do some hardcore research. Learn everything you can about the area. Get to know the dredges of the area. Every area has some bad spots.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 8

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 12:22:29 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Pros:

It's much cheaper to see the rest of Europe/Africa from Portugal than from California so we are able to travel more
New experiences such as food and music
Cheap prescription drugs
An amazing view!
Pretty money
Natas! (My favorite Portuguese pastry.. just YUMMY!)

Cons:

1 & 2 Euro coins which weigh down your pockets.
Expensive over the counter drugs
Having to learn a new language and Portuguese is quite difficult
8 hour time difference to be able to talk to family and friend means a very small window of opportunity
Different sized bills.. 5 Euro bills are quite small while 50 Euro bills are too big to fit into your wallet without folding, then you get to the store and think you have twice as much money as you do because you forgot they were folded. (Yeah, that happened to me. Doh. Menopause.)
No Hells Kitchen!
No bulk stores like Costco or Sam's club.
Can't take more than 200 Euros a day out of the ATM

Living in a tourist town, it's hard to make friends. We live in a 7 story building with 4 condo's on each floor. Himself and I are the only perm residents here, so just when you meet someone, they leave because they were only on vacation so I feel pretty isolated most of the time.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 9

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 12:37:56 PM

petmonkey

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

After four years of living together elsewhere, i relocated for His new job(s) and ended up being back in my hometown. i left this armpit of a town for a reason. We planned poorly and executed said plan even worse. i fight being pessimistic about the whole concept.
i would not say, "yes." again without a very strong back-up plan.

P.S. Anyone see any bookstore clerk job openings in their area lately?

Since He'll be at war for who knows how long, it doesn't actually matter where i am . .

< Message edited by petmonkey -- 8/11/2009 12:42:56 PM >

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.

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Post #: 10

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 1:50:35 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

*laughs* I can SOO sympathize kyra.

We're still in paperwork hell... where ARE these people from anyway? I mean seriously... "List the full names, dates of birth, and eye color of every human you have ever been within 200 meters of." Sheez.

And yeah, I'm imagining that when we get to Pender in another few weeks, there's going to be a lot of adjustment moving from a city of several million to a tiny little island of about 2000 *laughs*.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 11

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 3:16:24 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I've relocated numerous times and I've never really had any problems with doing so but then again I like to travel, I like to experience new places, I don't have family ties or extremely close friends nor have I ever felt like anyplace I've ever lived or even where I grew up was "home".

One simply has to take into account their lifestyles, what their ties are to an area that would make moving difficult and how it would affect their current and future lives.

Personally I'm itching to relocate again and hate that I need to wait one more year! I've been here waaay too long!

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 12

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 4:11:39 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Oh, one other thing I forgot to mention.. check the laws whereever you relocate. I was suprised to find out a number of things about Portugal.

Age of consent is 14 for hets, 16 for gays. (don't get that one, but there it is)
There is no minimum drinking age. The minimum purchase age is 18.
Marijuana was decriminalized in 2001. It's not legal, but there is no jail time for possession. Instead, you are offered therapy which you can refuse without consequence. Same thing with cocaine, meth and heroine.
If you're homosexual, don't bother trying to join the military. It's not allowed. There are also certain occupations which are banned if you're homosexual. Housing, however, is not discriminated and same-sex civil unions are legal.

Oh, and one more pro for Portugal .. Movies - movies are 5 Euros 70 cents no matter what time of day or day of the week you go. Popcorn though, is outrageous. Whether you get the buttered or the sweet (which is really, really good) it costs more than the movie. That said, they have no qualms at all about you bringing your own food in. Another pro for me (because I have a tiny bladder) there is always a 10 min break half-way through the movie.. some might consider that a con, but I like it. There is also assigned seating, so you get to pick out exactly where you want to sit when you purchase your ticket which is also cool.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 13

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 5:23:47 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

my favourite question on the USA immigration forms was "Had I engaged in acts of moral turpitude??

i don't think i will ever forget that question - mainly because i didn't know what would be considered moral turpitude - and my husband wouldn't let me ask - he said the immigration service had no sense of humour.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 14

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 6:06:18 PM

shadowowl

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline

I actually had problems with moral turpitude lol. took a lot more extra forms and paperwork cause they said my morals where questionable :P
though if you want to know the actual reason for their doubts you'll have to IM cause I don't feel like making it public lol. Though it was rather stupid.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 15

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 9:06:09 PM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

my favourite question on the USA immigration forms was "Had I engaged in acts of moral turpitude??

I haven't even used turpentine much....

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 16

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 10:29:47 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

The UK immigration form asks if you've ever been convicted of a crime (Including traffic offenses)

Shit.. where do I start?? LOL

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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 17

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/11/2009 10:43:22 PM

GildTheLily

Posts: 19
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

It's disheartening that most of the replies display negative reactions. I'm currently in a long distance relationship after meeting the man of my dreams this summer in the UK and we're intent on making things work. We realize that in order to do so we need to keep the long distance part to a minimum. As of now, it is more probable that he will be relocating to California as I'm far more rooted here. Still, if he asked it of me, I would up and move to London for him in a heartbeat.

Reading your responses gives me slight pause as I wonder if I'm being far too much of a romantic idealist in my optimism that all will work out just fine and dandy.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 18

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/12/2009 3:35:24 AM

NyDaddysGirl

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GildTheLily

It's disheartening that most of the replies display negative reactions. I'm currently in a long distance relationship after meeting the man of my dreams this summer in the UK and we're intent on making things work. We realize that in order to do so we need to keep the long distance part to a minimum. As of now, it is more probable that he will be relocating to California as I'm far more rooted here. Still, if he asked it of me, I would up and move to London for him in a heartbeat.

Reading your responses gives me slight pause as I wonder if I'm being far too much of a romantic idealist in my optimism that all will work out just fine and dandy.

As I was reading the replies, I was also disheartened by the majority of negative replies.

Although the relationship I'm in is only distanced by 100 miles, there will be a point in time where commuting will become a challange and reading more positive experiences would definately give me a more positive outlook on relocation.

Regarding the negative results posted, the examples of things that were either a challange or resulted in failure are helpful in knowing where the pitfalls are. Thank you for sharing.

_____________________________

I have no fear of falling, I just hate hitting the ground ~ Badlees

(in reply to GildTheLily)

Post #: 19

RE: Realities of relocating - 8/12/2009 6:14:24 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

Well girls, don't be disheartened. ALL the replies aren't negative. Mine is very, very positive!

I didn't have any immigration problems as I only relocated 800 miles south (from WV to AR), though sometimes I feel like I actually moved to the tropics with the sopping humidity and temps here

The reality is that I left my family, friends and a very good job behind and came to Master to make a fresh start. Of course, with technology, we never really have to leave anyone "behind." I love my new job, my new friends and my new life and I still have much contact with those whom I love in WV.

The harshest reality for me was when I first arrived and it was difficult to get a job I wanted. I finally found one sort-of-OK-one and worked there about 3 months until I got the great one I now have. That was a bit nerve-racking. Other than sometimes really missing being in the same room with my loved ones in WV, there haven't been any negatives (except that awful heat I mentioned earlier). I'm still adapting to that and, regardless of what they tell me here, the natives aren't "used to" it either. They just fake it well

.............luci

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to NyDaddysGirl)

Post #: 20

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