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Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 7:00:37 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline 		I've been following a few threads that have taken on a bit of a man-bashing tone (a tone to which I've been contributing, lol)... mostly in relation to how guys act during a break-up.  So I have a very serious question for the men out there... do you ever really FEEL something for us?  How long does it take for you to form an emotional connection with someone new?  What about during/after a breakup... do you really care at all?  think about us?  miss us?  feel sadness or regrets?  want us back?  If I even almost knew the answer to these questions, I wouldn't be asking.  It confuses me and causes a lot of frustration not to know what a guy is thinking/feeling. Another question... do you play mind games or play hard to get?  I know every man is different (sort of, lol), but I'm just interested in any individual views on the topic that any of you might wish to share.  Thanks!!!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 7:06:33 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Of course men feel emotions.

Generally speaking, men don't hold on to them quite as long as women do.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 7:22:22 PM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline 		If I was yhurting from a breakup, I wouldn't really look at these questions.  Not objective enough.  Too painful.  Is that what you meant?

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 7:27:47 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

If I was yhurting from a breakup, I wouldn't really look at these questions.  Not objective enough.  Too painful.  Is that what you meant?


Hmm, I'm not really sure what you mean...

(in reply to Apocalypso)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 7:30:19 PM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2
Hmm, I'm not really sure what you mean...
You asked how men would feel after a breakup?  I just personally wouldn't try and answer the other questions you pose in that situation, because I don't think it would be good for me.


_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 7:35:33 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2
Hmm, I'm not really sure what you mean...
You asked how men would feel after a breakup?  I just personally wouldn't try and answer the other questions you pose in that situation, because I don't think it would be good for me.



So I think you're saying that if you were the one in the midst of a breakup, you wouldnt want to answer these questions if posed by the girl?

I'm not sure if we're following each other, lol.  I guess a more clear way of asking what I meant to ask is.... Why don't guys act like they care when there is a breakup?  Because they really don't care, or because they're so accustomed to hiding their emotions?  Or something different?

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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 7:38:16 PM   
pinnipedster


Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		It really depends on the man and the breakup.  I've seen cases where the woman seemed to be able to shrug it off, while the man was devastated.  I've seen men really hesitant to break up with a woman because he knew it would be hard on her.  I've seen cases where everyone is angry enough to not really give a damn how the other person feels, regardless of gender.  I don't think you can generalize.

Me, I'm extremely emotional and prone to hurt feelings.  I've only gone through a few breakups, and only one where I instigated it, and yes, I cared how she felt afterwards (though she pretended she didn't really care....),  I really hope if I ever find a relationship again (which I sometimes think is a futile hope) that it lasts forever,  because a breakup at my age -- at least if things got serious to begin with -- I don't know if I could take it.

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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 7:40:11 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		All of the above, except for when guys do "act" like they care.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 7:40:31 PM   
pinnipedster


Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2
I'm not sure if we're following each other, lol.  I guess a more clear way of asking what I meant to ask is.... Why don't guys act like they care when there is a breakup?  Because they really don't care, or because they're so accustomed to hiding their emotions?  Or something different?


I tend to suspect it's mostly the latter, though of course it varies.

Another possible factor is that he's worried that if he admits he cares, she will use that, either to try to guilt him into getting back together, or to hurt him somehow. It's not so much about hiding feelings per se, as concealing your vulnerabilities.


< Message edited by pinnipedster -- 8/11/2009 7:42:21 PM >

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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 7:42:54 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		My heart has been wrenching inside my ribcage for one and a half years now. For the most part it has died down. Sometimes I still feel the ghosts of the relationship come back.

But I am an emotional creature and would like to believe that other males have emotions too. They are ever so manly enough not to show them. Except at a bar over the sixth beer.

It depends on how deep the connection is.... but I cannot speak for all men. You cannot speak for all women. I can only speak for me and you for you.


_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 8:13:55 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

I've been following a few threads that have taken on a bit of a man-bashing tone (a tone to which I've been contributing, lol)... mostly in relation to how guys act during a break-up.  So I have a very serious question for the men out there... do you ever really FEEL something for us?  How long does it take for you to form an emotional connection with someone new?  What about during/after a breakup... do you really care at all?  think about us?  miss us?  feel sadness or regrets?  want us back?  If I even almost knew the answer to these questions, I wouldn't be asking.  It confuses me and causes a lot of frustration not to know what a guy is thinking/feeling. Another question... do you play mind games or play hard to get?  I know every man is different (sort of, lol), but I'm just interested in any individual views on the topic that any of you might wish to share.  Thanks!!!

I don't know if it's a simple male brain female brain argument. Men are from Manchester and women are from Vauxhall makes as much sense as saying they are from other planets..however..
I just know that I am attrected to difference and if that means playing with emotionless sadistic dominant males then that's who I fuck with.
I do somtimes expect them to be women with dicks..you know I do expect them to be able to understand what I am feeling emotionally.
But as long as they are sensitive to what I am feeling phisically (because I play without limits) then I am safe.
When I get emotiobally rejected or 'hurt' I just have to remind myself I am an emotional masochist, they are just men. Playing hard to get is the opposiye game to begging. Both work.
Edited to add: sorry I'm not a typist and it's been a hard day.


< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 8/11/2009 8:28:08 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 8:15:35 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2
I'm not sure if we're following each other, lol.  I guess a more clear way of asking what I meant to ask is.... Why don't guys act like they care when there is a breakup?  Because they really don't care, or because they're so accustomed to hiding their emotions?  Or something different?


I tend to suspect it's mostly the latter, though of course it varies.

Another possible factor is that he's worried that if he admits he cares, she will use that, either to try to guilt him into getting back together, or to hurt him somehow. It's not so much about hiding feelings per se, as concealing your vulnerabilities.



Hmm, interesting.  I do that too, btw, do my best to conceal my vulnerabilities.  I vacillate back and forth between pretending to the guy (and to myself) that I don't care, and trying to make sure he does know that I care.... reason being, that I never know what HE'S feeling.  Why does it all have to be so god-awful confusing, lol. 

(in reply to pinnipedster)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 8:22:54 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

My heart has been wrenching inside my ribcage for one and a half years now. For the most part it has died down. Sometimes I still feel the ghosts of the relationship come back.

But I am an emotional creature and would like to believe that other males have emotions too. They are ever so manly enough not to show them. Except at a bar over the sixth beer.

It depends on how deep the connection is.... but I cannot speak for all men. You cannot speak for all women. I can only speak for me and you for you.



I like what you said here, thank you. 

How long were you in the relationship for, the one that you're still getting over?

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 8:25:39 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

Playing hard to get is the opposiye game to begging. Both work.


What do you mean here?

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 8:26:13 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

I've been following a few threads that have taken on a bit of a man-bashing tone (a tone to which I've been contributing, lol)... mostly in relation to how guys act during a break-up.  So I have a very serious question for the men out there... do you ever really FEEL something for us?  How long does it take for you to form an emotional connection with someone new?  What about during/after a breakup... do you really care at all?  think about us?  miss us?  feel sadness or regrets?  want us back?  If I even almost knew the answer to these questions, I wouldn't be asking.  It confuses me and causes a lot of frustration not to know what a guy is thinking/feeling. Another question... do you play mind games or play hard to get?  I know every man is different (sort of, lol), but I'm just interested in any individual views on the topic that any of you might wish to share.  Thanks!!!


Gee, with an opening like that, I can't imagine why people wouldn't rush in to share their feelings.



(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 8:31:46 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline 		Yeah, I guess you're right.  I'm just having a hard time of things lately and searching for some kind of answer.

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 8:32:39 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Of course men feel, the same as women do. The only difference is society teaches that men should not show their emotions like women. Men are supposed to keep it all bottled up inside, whereas women can let their emotions show. This is probably one of the main reasons that men don't live as long, the stress of holding in those emotions eats them alive.



~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 8:33:07 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		Interesting topic, I'm interested to hear how the men weigh in on this.

In my own experience with the men I've known, most seem to have their ego hurt more than their feelings hurt when a relationship ends or fails.  But then I've known a lot of neanderthals, I'm not saying all men are like this.

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 8:33:53 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

quote:

Playing hard to get is the opposiye game to begging. Both work.


What do you mean here?

When I am in a scene I call it play. Tat's not to say i don;t take it seriously. It might look like I'm passive but submission is definitely not so. I have strategies to get my needs satisfied as wekk as the dominannt. Sometimes getting my needs satisfied also satisfies the dom. Sometimes when I serve I focus only on satisfying the dom. Whih also satisfues my needs.
Sometimes I play hard to get...difficult, reticent in serving. Sometimes i simply don't submit. I like a good take down. It establishes control.
But sometimes I beg..beg to have something done to me, and also I beg to be allowed to serve. Both extremes are expressions of power exchange.


< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 8/11/2009 8:34:23 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
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RE: Men and Emotions? - 8/11/2009 8:36:46 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Of course men feel, the same as women do. The only difference is society teaches that men should not show their emotions like women. Men are supposed to keep it all bottled up inside, whereas women can let their emotions show. This is probably one of the main reasons that men don't live as long, the stress of holding in those emotions eats them alive.



~Lashra


On some intellectual level I know this, but it's hard for me to believe in what I can't see.  :P  I guess that's the problem... I want to have all the information, and I get frustrated when it is withheld.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 20
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