RE: Types of Dommes?

RE: Types of Dommes? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

thetammyjo -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/12/2009 8:16:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight Mm... alright, that's a bit of a relief. Still, it'd be nice to find the ones that -wouldn't- take pleasure in obliterating my self-esteem and personality. When you find that you are looking at ads or profiles that seem to have a particular theme, the place to look first is in yourself. What is it about those ads and profiles that is attracting you yet repulsing you? If you can work on changing what you are attracted to -- difficult but not impossible -- then you may find women that don't repulse you. In other words, if you find you are attracted to a physical image but repulsed by the rhetoric that accompanies it, you will need to start expanding what you go looking at.

thetammyjo -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/12/2009 8:19:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight Mm... alright, that's a bit of a relief. Still, it'd be nice to find the ones that -wouldn't- take pleasure in obliterating my self-esteem and personality. When you find that the ads/profiles which attract you contain rhetoric that repulses you, you need to see if you can do something about expanding what first attracts you. You can't control others, only yourself. See if there are common traits or themes that are drawing in your attention. It could be that you allowing yourself to view mostly porn or pro profiles and thus are seeing a very high ration of the type of attitude you think is inappropriate. If that is the case, change which profiles you view.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/12/2009 8:33:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt Oh, and to answer your question. The male Dom version of "You are a lowly worm" is the bazillion "On your knees, bitch" emails us female subs get. While it works for some, most of us react.... rather poorly to that approach. [:D] Exactly!! You beat me to it! ~high five~

daintydimples -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/12/2009 10:06:39 AM)
I think all females, regardless of whether dom or sub, like to be courted. The males who learn how to court well will almost always win out over the ones who don't have this skill. HOW you court a female also matters. If you use externals (how you look, how much money you make, the great big car you drive) you will attract females who find externals appealing. If you use internals (what kind of person you are) you will attract a very different kind of female.

Lockit -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/12/2009 10:41:58 AM)
I had an email from someone yesterday that has been reading my journal... well actually two... both different responses. The first said... I'm torn between... you're so scary you're interesting and you're so interesting it's scary. When a dominant isn't blatantly declairing all men worms to be treated a certain way and used for certain things... I think a lot of it is how the submissive perceives things. I laughed when I read that and emailed him back. I started out laughing and said... stick around, get to know me and you will see that I am typically not scary with people close to me. Another read my entire journal. Now that is impressive! That thing is long! He was so touched that he said he worked out a lot of things or confirmed a lot of things within himself and learned that there really were dominant women out there that weren't into the worm and ruining a man and were very much into loving their man. Some of this comes from porn and silly people acting as if the world owes them something and men are the tool to achieve that. But some of it comes from the way people look at themselves and others, especially a dominant. We cannot blame only the dominant's here, some of us are not being seen. We have to think about how we view things. I had a husband that if I said the sun was yellow he would say it wasn't. I once had this like demon possessed car. I would try to turn left and it would go right. I would try to shut the lights off and couldn't if the wipers were on. On the last trip... I pulled into the drive way and shut it off how it decided I must do that and said... I hate this car! My husband heard... I hate you for not giving me a better car. It's all in how you perceive things sometimes. As for types of dominant's... how many types can you imagine? There are many dominant's here that I respect and consider very good dominant's and yet we are very different. Some might consider me less of a dominant because I am not as sadistic or do things differently. I think we get into trouble when we compare people or dominants. I am sure that a lot of submissive's don't like being compared and judged the same as many other submissive's. Many of us dominant's don't like being compared and having to explain ourselves repeatedly by those who are trying to fit us into a mould of some sort and having to clear up their confusion. People will see what they want to see sometimes and there isn't much we can do about that. What is refreshing is when people understand that people are different and that each needs to be judged or viewed by learning that person and not being quick to put them in a catagory. It's human to do sometimes, but should be tempered.

ElanSubdued -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/12/2009 12:07:19 PM)
VanIsleKnight, quote: VanIsleKnight wrote: I was looking through a lot of the different dominant women near my area and while some seem very interesting, a lot of them seem like man hating FemiNazi sexist supremists who honestly think that men aren't even human beings. (snip) Are there different "types" of dominants that can be generally classified, or do most share this sense of... misandrism? Quick response. There are as many different types of dominants are there are likely people on the planet. It helps to separate "dominance" from the person owning the label. So, now that we're down to just "people", ask yourself this. How many people have you run into who you like, abore, respect, avoid, etc.? How many times do you meet someone and think them vile? How many times do you meet someone and find them charming and well balanced? My point is this is a very individual thing. Someone may wear the label of dominant, but this is no idication as to their quality as a human being and their compatibility with you. First and foremost, when I meet a kinky person, I'm not particularily interested in this aspect of their life. It's the quality of their personage that interests me and the rest develops organically from there Elan.

VanIsleKnight -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/12/2009 4:18:43 PM)
Oh no. Nonononono. Women most assuredly do not repulse me. Not in the slightest way, shape or form. Definitely not. Certain types of women repulse me, just as certain types of men repulse women. Just because I'm a submissive doesn't mean that I don't have standards. ;) Typically when I view profiles I start from my home city and work my way out, have barely scratched the surface of Vancouver I believe. When I meet new people, I observe them and try to remain relatively affable. Try to have an open mind because everyone can have a bad day/week whatever, have a lot of flaws but a lot of qualities too. This one man that I used to work with, everyone hated him behind his back. He was an alcoholic, he had a short fuse, was hung over almost all the time, loud, opinionated, and also a bit of a womanizer. Most people didn't realize though that he also cared a lot about his friends and recognized that he had problems with his anger and his drinking and was taking steps to break out of that cycle. He would apologize afterwards when he had the chance to cool down and would often walk away to get a chance to cool down. He'd still flip sometimes but he was actively trying to change. I consider that important, that he desired and strived to be better then he was, and in the time I worked with him, he succeeded to a degree.

masmiss -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/12/2009 5:43:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic XD Approach in a vanilla fashion. Be who you are. Kinks come second, in my opinion. Your opinion matches mine exactly.

MsFlutter -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/12/2009 6:17:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz Your post reminded me of an incident in a Fem Domme club a couple of years ago. I was sat in jacuzzi listening to these two supposedly Dominant women talking. In walked a man in a school uniform and the first woman said to the other 'watch this and learn'. She approached the guy, took off his hat and threw it in the swimming pool. He protested as to why she had done that before she piped up 'you lowly little worm, look at you, your scum'. Once again he protested and tried to explain that he wasn't into that sort of humiliation but she wasn't listening and like lightening her hand came up and slapped his face. His reaction was to slap her back and in doing so he knocked her into the swimming pool. I couldn't help but snigger before turning to her friend and saying 'did you learn something?' ROFL - good for him ! I would have enjoyed watching that exchange !

allthatjaz -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/13/2009 2:41:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsFlutter quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz Your post reminded me of an incident in a Fem Domme club a couple of years ago. I was sat in jacuzzi listening to these two supposedly Dominant women talking. In walked a man in a school uniform and the first woman said to the other 'watch this and learn'. She approached the guy, took off his hat and threw it in the swimming pool. He protested as to why she had done that before she piped up 'you lowly little worm, look at you, your scum'. Once again he protested and tried to explain that he wasn't into that sort of humiliation but she wasn't listening and like lightening her hand came up and slapped his face. His reaction was to slap her back and in doing so he knocked her into the swimming pool. I couldn't help but snigger before turning to her friend and saying 'did you learn something?' ROFL - good for him ! I would have enjoyed watching that exchange ! Actually he was promptly thrown out of the club and told he was banned for life. When I protested and told the promoter what happened he put his arms in the air and declared 'all women are Goddesses and no man, no matter what, should do that to a woman'. In that instance I disagree.

VanIsleKnight -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/13/2009 3:11:47 AM)
Harumph. I suppose it was much easier for him politically to just toss and ban. I'd wager that it's easier to replace the guy then the girl, though it might have well been a personal thing as well. "He struck Goddess! HEATHEN!" I'd have no regrets in doing the same thing, though to be fair I'd probably have just faked a bow, and shoved her in instead with a smile and a little chuckle. Maybe a cheesy line. "How's that, did I make you wet, Mistress?" [&:]

slavekal -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/13/2009 8:53:31 AM)
There are many types. Young, old, pretty, ugly, fat, thin, sadistic, sensual. Some hate men. Some love men. It's just a matter of compatibility.

allthatjaz -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/13/2009 11:11:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight Harumph. I suppose it was much easier for him politically to just toss and ban. I'd wager that it's easier to replace the guy then the girl, though it might have well been a personal thing as well. "He struck Goddess! HEATHEN!" I'd have no regrets in doing the same thing, though to be fair I'd probably have just faked a bow, and shoved her in instead with a smile and a little chuckle. Maybe a cheesy line. "How's that, did I make you wet, Mistress?" [&:] I love people watching in Fem Domme clubs. The only problem when your people watching is you get a rather large volume of foot worshipers at your feet and whilst I like a good foot massage, I hate the slavering [:@] The thing is, it doesn't matter if your thin, fat, tall, short, old, young, beautiful or darn right ugly..... your still going to be told (in a Fem Domme club) that your beautiful, your a Goddess, your the best thing since sliced bread and all that bollocks and the problem for some of the Dommes is that they actually start to believe it! I'm a fairly confident person and I don't suffer from low self esteem issues and at the end of the day I think of myself as fairly average but I have known other Dommes, even some as friends that believe so much in there own hype that they start to believe they are too good to be true. These are women that if they lived in a vanilla world they would probably remain single and have low self esteem and personally I think these are the women that make awful Dommes. So you sub guys should start being more genuine and not handing out inappropriate comments [;)]

Misstoyou -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/13/2009 2:38:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz So you sub guys should start being more genuine and not handing out inappropriate comments [;)] No truer words... [:D]

Vendaval -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/14/2009 10:34:46 PM)
Sounds like you are at the initial meet and greet stage. Go out to different settings, classes, function, parties, munches, etc. Meet and mingle in real time with a variety of people. Have faith in yourself and this process called "living".

RedMagic1 -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/15/2009 5:59:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo When you find that you are looking at ads or profiles that seem to have a particular theme, the place to look first is in yourself. Quoted for emphasis. VIK, I suggest you prioritize profiles without pictures, and profiles otherwise constructed to attract men who are looking for intellect and personality first, and hotboddedness second.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/15/2009 6:02:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 VIK, I suggest you prioritize profiles without pictures, and profiles otherwise constructed to attract men who are looking for intellect and personality first, and hotboddedness second. See I am hot and intelligent, so it is really hard for people to only look for one with me :P I know what you mean though, having a slightly discerning eye when it comes to viewing profiles, a stunning picture and the line I am a Goddess to be worshiped with no other info is probably one to pass by

RedMagic1 -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/15/2009 6:07:41 AM)
There are plenty of great women who post pics. I was more suggesting that since it's not working for him to get out of bed on the right side, he should try getting out on the left side for a while.

Andalusite -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/15/2009 10:57:33 AM)
I had the impression that they were contacting/spamming him, not that they were the ones he was reaching out to. Van, while there are plenty of genuine femdoms/switches/etc. who will make the first contact here, the ones who use that particular approach are pretty much guaranteed to be scammers, gender-benders (men pretending to be women online, not transgendered people), or otherwise undesirable. Just let them know you aren't interested, and focus on people who are potentially compatible.

OttersSwim -> RE: Types of Dommes? (8/15/2009 12:39:30 PM)
I recommend getting a Domme that has "Kung Fu Grip" and comes with the "Malibu Beach House" and a pretty brunette friend named "Skipper" who is sold separately...well at least we get a lot of call for those here in this forum... [;)]

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125