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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/20/2009 5:44:08 PM   
PeonForHer


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Status: offline 		Sorry, Lookie, this section of the thread is for long posts only.  Please comply.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/20/2009 5:47:21 PM   
NYLass


Posts: 409
Joined: 12/30/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Sorry, Lookie, this section of the thread is for long posts only.  Please comply.

Dammit


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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/20/2009 5:49:47 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Sorry, Lookie, this section of the thread is for long posts only.  Please comply.


(I blame myself).

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 8/20/2009 6:10:21 PM >

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/20/2009 7:18:15 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

Indeed....I've always found men (and women) who were blessed with money to be unusually beneficent with their funds.



The submissive men of modest means have all been generous, in the sense that they've shown up with a bottle of champagne for the evening, or have taken me out for lunch or dinner; one arrived for a first date with a lovely leather posture collar that he'd made, as a gift.  The wealthy ones are the ones who want to split everything down the middle, or they say, "I bought XYZ, why don't you get ABC?"  Seriously, that just drives me batty.  It takes away from me the opportunity to be generous in the ways that I want to be generous and reduces our entire interaction to the level of business. 

I'm not saying that wealthy people don't give, but, so often, they seem to be generous only when they can be seen to be generous by a large group of people. 

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/20/2009 7:36:07 PM   
Leiren


Posts: 206
Joined: 8/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

Indeed....I've always found men (and women) who were blessed with money to be unusually beneficent with their funds.



The submissive men of modest means have all been generous, in the sense that they've shown up with a bottle of champagne for the evening, or have taken me out for lunch or dinner; one arrived for a first date with a lovely leather posture collar that he'd made, as a gift.  The wealthy ones are the ones who want to split everything down the middle, or they say, "I bought XYZ, why don't you get ABC?"  Seriously, that just drives me batty.  It takes away from me the opportunity to be generous in the ways that I want to be generous and reduces our entire interaction to the level of business. 

I'm not saying that wealthy people don't give, but, so often, they seem to be generous only when they can be seen to be generous by a large group of people. 


Pardon me, but that was not the gist of the OP's first post. Her initial post was BRAGGING and going on and about the 'neener, neener, neener' thing. About how HER sub was better than the 'limpdicks' (as she called them without any shame on her part).

Her entire OP did not come across as a loving show to her sub. It just sounded greedy.I would venture to guess that greediness on the part of a female dom or a male dom sounds equally distasteful.


< Message edited by Leiren -- 8/20/2009 7:38:17 PM >

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE...THAT TIRED OLD... - 8/20/2009 8:34:50 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

As we saw with those dictionary definitions, the word 'slavery' has come to mean something so all-embracing that anyone whose life is dominated in any way by a thing could call him or herself a 'slave'. 


But we are not reaching so high for creative spin on the word here—are we? The alternate definition for "slave" has been with us for some time now, and it doesn't seem so abstract to me in this context. A man can be a slave to a drug or a slave to Deborah, indeed, but it would seem the latter is more the focus in a forum such as this. My only real contention in this thread is the notion that consensual slavery cannot be "true" slavery simply because one is not violently captured or born into it, or does not live in a society that sanctions it legally. In short, the qualitative shift from definition 1 to 2 does not delegitimize the use of the word, particularly in these circles.


"To me, the entire joy of being a slave in the BDSM sense is dependent on that element of choice."

I'm not so certain "joy" is how I'd describe the foremost emotion for a slave under a consensual arrangement, and choice, depending upon certain situational and emotional realities—especially when one considers capture bonding and other such psychological processes that can take root—sometimes seems dubious to the heart, if not difficult. Be that as it may, there is always an initial choice to enter consensual slavery, indeed, but the servitude beyond that gate can be just as miserable and challenging to the human condition. Many with experience in serving will no doubt find their past tribulations affirm that.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/20/2009 8:42:21 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

Indeed....I've always found men (and women) who were blessed with money to be unusually beneficent with their funds.



The submissive men of modest means have all been generous, in the sense that they've shown up with a bottle of champagne for the evening, or have taken me out for lunch or dinner; one arrived for a first date with a lovely leather posture collar that he'd made, as a gift.  The wealthy ones are the ones who want to split everything down the middle, or they say, "I bought XYZ, why don't you get ABC?"  Seriously, that just drives me batty.  It takes away from me the opportunity to be generous in the ways that I want to be generous and reduces our entire interaction to the level of business. 

I'm not saying that wealthy people don't give, but, so often, they seem to be generous only when they can be seen to be generous by a large group of people. 


Different circles I'd guess.

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 507
RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/20/2009 8:49:46 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

Different circles I'd guess.



Indeed.  I suspect that you haven't dated a lot of wealthy submissive men.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/21/2009 6:18:57 AM   
Arillis


Posts: 75
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Status: offline 		Of course, the original post was an Ebonic ploy, it was designed to enrage and further root current attempts at social engineerings that are failing miserably.

(in reply to Leiren)
Profile   Post #: 509
RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/21/2009 6:43:01 AM   
ShaktiSama


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

The fear and anger brought out on this topic is a real eye opener... and a sad one. I am thankful that I don't live this way and am sorry that I might feel some judgement of those that do.


What she said!  Ditto to the nth degree.

I have to admit, though, that re-reading the OP makes it easy to see how those words would inspire hostility and hurt.  And there is an implication running through the post that love for your domme is only "done right" if you are incredibly wealthy, a world traveler, and able to shower your partner with endless material things and material support.

As you say, Lockit--there is a lot more to love than that.  And I also agree with Venatrix that people who build their lives around money can have some bad habits.  I've met more than one person making six figures+ a year who has gotten very sloppy because of his/her wealth.  They get very used to buying things and people when they want to, and they often try to use their money to make "statements" and emotional power plays that I can seriously live without.

Even people who are not rich can do this, however.  Most of the men who are the loudest complainers on this subject, in various threads, are not fabulously wealthy themselves.  They just use money  as one of many ways to assert equality in their relationships--and thus to withhold power from a potential domme in any power exchange.

I think there are some trust issues here that could probably be worked through very easily with the right domme.  For me, though, this type of talk and attitude are just a turn-off.  It's a sign that someone not only HAS issues, but doesn't acknowledge and accept that these ARE issues that need to be worked on.  And there's nothing less attractive than damaged goods which don't want to be fixed.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/21/2009 6:49:21 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

I get so very weary of reading the tired old lambasts against 'tribute' here on these boards.

I'm usually not one to brag or boast, because I like to keep My sub's cards close to My chest, but I just had to share tonight's experience for those Dommes who are bombarded by whiney, wimpy, pathetic drips who have NO clue what it is to support the kind of woman they long to serve.

Tonight, when I entered the room where he sat cooling off from a much deserved shower, (for, you see, he'd been at My best 4ever g.friend's home fixing her AC earlier this afternoon....at his own expense...) I traipsed into the room to find a collection of 5 brand new floggers arrayed on the bed for My approval.

Long falls, short falls, thick falls, razor thin falls, heavy floggers, light and easy to handle floggers, leather handles, steel handles, split hide, full grain hide, elk hide.....each with a bite or pummel or caress all it's own.......and next to these beautiful new floggers were arranged three pyrex glass dildos for My pleasure, along with two double ended dildo's for anal/vaginal mutually satisfying penetration, next to a double set of leather paddles, one light, one heavy, ....all brand new presents just to make Me smile and to enjoy having some adult fun with WIITWD.

I still had the dog food and cattle feed in the trunk of My car that he picked up yesterday, for My/our animals, at his expense, along with money he provided for the ever skyrocketing light bill, and for groceries, that he sends Me every single month, without complaint. 

That, in addition to the funds he'd provided to help a family member who was out of a job relocate for a lifeline in a new town with a new chance at a new career. 

Not to mention the monies he contributed in July for prescriptions and copays for that elderly relative turning senile who needs medical care 24/7. 

Not to mention the new suit on My back, the hairstyle he paid for, the matching (or contrasting) shoes, or the purse, or the lingerie I'm wearing beneath today's ensemble....all gifts from My manthing.

I clasped My hands with delight at the sight of the collection of floggers on the bed, while he whispered, 'what's that fragrance You're wearing, it's wonderful?!' even though he knows full well it's the Burberry Britt he brought back from the duty free shop in Dubai just a few months ago. 

He passionately kissed my cheek and nuzzled the earlobes where his gold earrings glittered, the ones he brought back from that Dubai trip.

I touched his gold necklace, the heavyweight symbolic collar he wears to denote his service to Me, and I greedily, hungrily picked up first this flogger, then that one, and tried them out, each one in turn, on his tender skin.

He rolled his shoulders forward and stood motionless, mesmerized by the anticipation of a painful but stimulating session in the offing.

I must have orgasmed 20 times, between the floggers and paddles making me hot as melted wax and the new toys that found every g spot we could both possibly discover.

Afterwards, in a heap of exhausted bliss, he whispered to Me that the 'car deal' went through, and tells me while nuzzling My breasts that the new high-mileage-import-mini-SUV-I've-been-dreaming-of-as-the-perfect-dog-show/cattle-show/handicapped-relative-transport-vehicle has been approved and finalized and is on it's way to My door for My exclusive use and possession next week, while he makes the payments, pays the insurance, tax, title and license for Me.....

I could never thank you, manthing, for everything you do for Me, every day, in every way, to let Me know how much you care, how much you love Me, how much you appreciate and cherish our relationship.

I love you.

Thank you, from the bottom of My heart.

....and the rest of you whiney, petulant, selfish, self absorbed limpdicks can sit up and take notice of how a 'real man' pays tribute to his Domme!

That's how it's done. 

Texas Maam

....oh, and if you're some broken winged pigeon that this manthing happens to pay a compliment to online,  please,  don't email Me, just consider yourself lucky, and be sure you keep your distance.....



so your a kept woman. nothing new there.

_____________________________

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RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/21/2009 7:34:59 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

In any case, I think what you say about the type of person you describe--one who lives comfortably with food, housing, clothing, recreation, retirement taken care and scads still left--is reasonable enough and most people would feel the same way as you do.

I am curious how many of the submissive men you have encountered whom you describe as cheap fit this description?



Every last one of them. 


Wow.

I don't know any of these people.

While I certainly wouldn't know if these men were submissive or otherwise, I'm constantly surrounded by wealthy people (men included) and I've never known any of them to be anything other than inordinately generous and giving.

Indeed....I've always found men (and women) who were blessed with money to be unusually beneficent with their funds.

I actually just got back tonight from a charity event and watched about 70 people hand out about $200,000.00 for local schizophrenia clinics.

(I guess I just don't hang out with the same folks).



Wealthy people are VERY generous with their money when they can get a great tax break and make themselves look good in the process.

Remove both of the above and it usually changes.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE...THAT TIRED OLD... - 8/21/2009 8:16:44 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		But we are not reaching so high for creative spin on the word here—are we? The alternate definition for "slave" has been with us for some time now, and it doesn't seem so abstract to me in this context.
 
I don't think that to think of, for instance, "wage slavery" - the "slavery of being an employee" as slavery, for instance, is to put a creative spin on the word.  That idea has been around since before Marx.  It's also helpful in giving a sense, at least, of non-consensual slavery as very much an unenjoyable thing.
 
My only real contention in this thread is the notion that consensual slavery cannot be "true" slavery simply because one is not violently captured or born into it, or does not live in a society that sanctions it legally. In short, the qualitative shift from definition 1 to 2 does not delegitimize the use of the word, particularly in these circles.
 
No, it doesn't delegitimise the use of the word in BDSM circles - far from it.

Be that as it may, there is always an initial choice to enter consensual slavery, indeed, but the servitude beyond that gate can be just as miserable and challenging to the human condition. Many with experience in serving will no doubt find their past tribulations affirm that.

Oh god.  In that case I'm back to square one.  I haven't experienced either the joys or the miseries.  The latter, re consensual slavery, isn't something I can talk about.  I don't even recall reading much about it on these forums.  I'll have to leave others who've experienced consensual slavery, and talk only of its pleasures, to comment on that. 

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/21/2009 8:19:51 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Different circles I'd guess.

I think that may account for more than a few of the disagreements on this thread.  Trouble is that people - myself included - may want to tippy-toe around that particular issue because of the even more inflamed arguments that could result.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/21/2009 8:32:07 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

The fear and anger brought out on this topic is a real eye opener... and a sad one. I am thankful that I don't live this way and am sorry that I might feel some judgement of those that do.


What she said!  Ditto to the nth degree.


Yes, that's come up a few times by various people throughout the thread.  Unfortunately, the thread has become the length that not many folks will read the whole thing, but most of the female Dominants have had similar reactions.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 515
RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/21/2009 8:45:16 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

The fear and anger brought out on this topic is a real eye opener... and a sad one. I am thankful that I don't live this way and am sorry that I might feel some judgement of those that do.


What she said!  Ditto to the nth degree.


Yes, that's come up a few times by various people throughout the thread.  Unfortunately, the thread has become the length that not many folks will read the whole thing, but most of the female Dominants have had similar reactions.


I support Lockit's comment too.  Except: re judging those people who live a different way . . . I'm feeling inclined towards concluding, 'Well, each to his or her own.  I don't meet them - what does it matter to me?'  I don't have personal bitter experiences regarding relationships and money.  It's helpful to remain innocent about certain things, I think.  

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Profile   Post #: 516
RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/21/2009 9:13:37 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		That's kind of a yes and no deal, peon.  Some of the uglier attitudes during the course of this thread have definitely had an influence.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 517
RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/21/2009 9:32:32 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

That's kind of a yes and no deal, peon.  Some of the uglier attitudes during the course of this thread have definitely had an influence.


Yes - I guess so, in terms of charges of both people being tightwads and people being graspers. 

'Money doesn't talk, it swears'.   Earlier, I swore back at the world in which that happens.  But I don't have to worry because, in my romantic life beyond this website, it doesn't exist.  I'm clearer now than I was before that I don't want a partnership that feels like a business deal.  If I do one day want to enter into a D/s arrangement that is a business deal (which is possible), then I'll go the whole way.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE...THAT TIRED OLD... - 8/21/2009 9:59:51 AM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Be that as it may, there is always an initial choice to enter consensual slavery, indeed, but the servitude beyond that gate can be just as miserable and challenging to the human condition. Many with experience in serving will no doubt find their past tribulations affirm that.

Oh god.  In that case I'm back to square one.  I haven't experienced either the joys or the miseries.  The latter, re consensual slavery, isn't something I can talk about.  I don't even recall reading much about it on these forums.  I'll have to leave others who've experienced consensual slavery, and talk only of its pleasures, to comment on that. 


You bring up a good point. I would be willing to say the mix of circles is what's behind the disparities seen in these threads. I would surmise the majority are those who see a "BDSM" version in these discussions as an enriching element to adult play and romantic relationships, and that's altogether a wonderful and intricately diverse world, indeed. A smaller, perhaps less heard niche would simply prefer calling it "consensual slavery" and often tends to eschew the BDSM trappings and culture inherent.

Another niche—the size of which I'm loath to predict—has little to no experience or even interest in the depths of consensual servitude, yet that does not stop them from speaking as authorities on the subject. In your case, I deeply admire your honesty in stating your lack of experience. Where most would lie to defend their credibility, you do not.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 519
RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE...THAT TIRED OLD... - 8/21/2009 11:20:48 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Another niche—the size of which I'm loath to predict—has little to no experience or even interest in the depths of consensual servitude, yet that does not stop them from speaking as authorities on the subject. In your case, I deeply admire your honesty in stating your lack of experience. Where most would lie to defend their credibility, you do not.

Thank you, Marc.  No, I'm not experienced in BDSM, though I guess I've had enough of an intuition about that consensual servitude to know that it could be good.  I am experienced in certain other ways, though - to do with the way the mind works, philosophical outlooks, and so forth (if that doesn't sound too pompous).  Suffice to say, to make D/s make sense to myself, I've taken a very big step back. 

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile  [link=http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/user/MarcEsadrian/write.htm][/link]


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