RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE".....

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/23/2009 7:52:55 PM

dreamerdreaming

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Financial domination is a radical departure from a normal, healthy, well-adjusted relationship. Signing too much of one's own life away to one person --- might be a really unbalanced and unwise move to make. In sum, financial domination straddles a thin line between BDSM and exploitation. This is why many ladies are uncomfortable with it, and why many men steer clear of this requirement.

What a crock of shit.

You would trust a dom with your life, but not your money?

That's fucked up.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/23/2009 8:04:25 PM

NoreenSwan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Financial domination is a radical departure from a normal, healthy, well-adjusted relationship. Signing too much of one's own life away to one person --- might be a really unbalanced and unwise move to make. In sum, financial domination straddles a thin line between BDSM and exploitation. This is why many ladies are uncomfortable with it, and why many men steer clear of this requirement.

What a crock of shit.

You would trust a dom with your life, but not your money?

That's fucked up.

Great point.

Exploitation. Depends on who you ask. If he doesn't feel exploited, is it exploitation? He could feel giving away his money as part of his submission.

I find it odd that some say it's okay to submit in this area, but not ok to submit in this area.

If a girl sub is expected to have sex with whoever her Dom says, that's a form of exploitation to some people. But to her, giving up her body however her Dom says is a a form of submission, a way to show him she's committed to serving his desires.

Who knows, maybe even that exploitation may be what drives her. So many different flavors and likes.

< Message edited by NoreenSwan -- 8/23/2009 8:05:48 PM >

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/23/2009 8:05:45 PM

YveGee

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I am not one to want tribute but....

Several years ago, I didn't work for pay; my husband earned enough money for me to stay at home and enjoy my stable of five subs. I made an effort to see each of them on a regular basis. I was having fun!

Then my husband lost his job. I began looking for work and had less time to spend with my subs. Money began to get really tight and we were seriously worried about losing our home. My husband and I talked about the possibility of having to move in with family and I began the process of warning the subs that I might have to break things off.

I found a job but we were still scraping by and I still lacked in free time. One of the subs invited me to dinner and a movie. No BDSM; he just wanted the pleasure of my company. We enjoyed a nice evening together. As we were parting, he hugged me and said he knew things would get better. That night, as I was digging through my purse, I found an envelope stuffed with $280.

He refused to ever discuss the envelope. He told me once that the pleasure of spending time with me was worth more but that was the most his ATM would let him take out at one time (he used $20 to pay for the movie).

That, to me, was tribute.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/23/2009 8:07:01 PM

NoreenSwan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Financial domination is a radical departure from a normal, healthy, well-adjusted relationship. Signing too much of one's own life away to one person --- might be a really unbalanced and unwise move to make. In sum, financial domination straddles a thin line between BDSM and exploitation. This is why many ladies are uncomfortable with it, and why many men steer clear of this requirement.

This statement I disagree with.
Domination is domination to me.
Whether I am able to dominate your sex organs, your body, your activities or your money.
They are all forms of "control".
I am not a Professional Dominant, but I don't think anyone can dictate the area's of life that an able bodied adult in their right mind, allows someone else to dominate.
If a man or woman wants to give all their money to someone else, that is their business.
What consenting adults allow to transpire is their business, and not anyone else's.

I may not participate in 80% of the "kink" that most people on here do, but it is not my place to tell
other people what they can and can not do with their bodies, their time, or their money.

"Whether I am able to dominate your sex organs, your body, your activities or your money.
They are all forms of "control"."

Makes sense to me.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/23/2009 8:08:29 PM

VeryMercurial

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NoreenSwan

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Financial domination is a radical departure from a normal, healthy, well-adjusted relationship. Signing too much of one's own life away to one person --- might be a really unbalanced and unwise move to make. In sum, financial domination straddles a thin line between BDSM and exploitation. This is why many ladies are uncomfortable with it, and why many men steer clear of this requirement.

What a crock of shit.

You would trust a dom with your life, but not your money?

That's fucked up.

Great point.

Exploitation. Depends on who you ask. If he doesn't feel exploited, is it exploitation? He could feel giving away his money as part of his submission.

I find it odd that some say it's okay to submit in this area, but not ok to submit in this area.

If a girl sub is expected to have sex with whoever her Dom says, that's a form of exploitation to some people. But to her, giving up her body however her Dom says is a a form of submission, a way to show him she's committed to serving his desires.

Who knows, maybe even that exploitation may be what drives her. So many different flavors and likes.

I totally agree, your kink may not be my kink, but who are we to judge other people's kinks?
It is okay to have sex with 50 men or women because your Dominant orders you to, but it is not okay
to give someone $100 to listen to your fantasies?
WTF?
Who makes the rules and what are they?

If someone wants to "serve" me by washing my car, cleaning my home OR giving me cash,
that is between the two of us.

< Message edited by VeryMercurial -- 8/23/2009 8:10:38 PM >

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/23/2009 8:08:35 PM

GoddessImaginos

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YveGee

I am not one to want tribute but....

Several years ago, I didn't work for pay; my husband earned enough money for me to stay at home and enjoy my stable of five subs. I made an effort to see each of them on a regular basis. I was having fun!

Then my husband lost his job. I began looking for work and had less time to spend with my subs. Money began to get really tight and we were seriously worried about losing our home. My husband and I talked about the possibility of having to move in with family and I began the process of warning the subs that I might have to break things off.

I found a job but we were still scraping by and I still lacked in free time. One of the subs invited me to dinner and a movie. No BDSM; he just wanted the pleasure of my company. We enjoyed a nice evening together. As we were parting, he hugged me and said he knew things would get better. That night, as I was digging through my purse, I found an envelope stuffed with $280.

He refused to ever discuss the envelope. He told me once that the pleasure of spending time with me was worth more but that was the most his ATM would let him take out at one time (he used $20 to pay for the movie).

That, to me, was tribute.

Wow. Just.. wow.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/23/2009 8:13:44 PM

VeryMercurial

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Joined: 6/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YveGee

I am not one to want tribute but....

Several years ago, I didn't work for pay; my husband earned enough money for me to stay at home and enjoy my stable of five subs. I made an effort to see each of them on a regular basis. I was having fun!

Then my husband lost his job. I began looking for work and had less time to spend with my subs. Money began to get really tight and we were seriously worried about losing our home. My husband and I talked about the possibility of having to move in with family and I began the process of warning the subs that I might have to break things off.

I found a job but we were still scraping by and I still lacked in free time. One of the subs invited me to dinner and a movie. No BDSM; he just wanted the pleasure of my company. We enjoyed a nice evening together. As we were parting, he hugged me and said he knew things would get better. That night, as I was digging through my purse, I found an envelope stuffed with $280.

He refused to ever discuss the envelope. He told me once that the pleasure of spending time with me was worth more but that was the most his ATM would let him take out at one time (he used $20 to pay for the movie).

That, to me, was tribute.

What a thoughtful and wonderful "gentleman".

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/23/2009 8:17:56 PM

YveGee

Posts: 39
Joined: 10/5/2004
From: Dallas - Fort Worth Metroplex
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessImaginos]

Wow. Just.. wow.

Yeah...

That was kinda my response, too.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/23/2009 8:34:10 PM

NoreenSwan

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What a beautiful and kind gesture!

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/23/2009 8:44:43 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YveGee

I am not one to want tribute but....

Several years ago, I didn't work for pay; my husband earned enough money for me to stay at home and enjoy my stable of five subs. I made an effort to see each of them on a regular basis. I was having fun!

Then my husband lost his job. I began looking for work and had less time to spend with my subs. Money began to get really tight and we were seriously worried about losing our home. My husband and I talked about the possibility of having to move in with family and I began the process of warning the subs that I might have to break things off.

I found a job but we were still scraping by and I still lacked in free time. One of the subs invited me to dinner and a movie. No BDSM; he just wanted the pleasure of my company. We enjoyed a nice evening together. As we were parting, he hugged me and said he knew things would get better. That night, as I was digging through my purse, I found an envelope stuffed with $280.

He refused to ever discuss the envelope. He told me once that the pleasure of spending time with me was worth more but that was the most his ATM would let him take out at one time (he used $20 to pay for the movie).

That, to me, was tribute.

This was a very sweet story. Thank you for sharing it.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/23/2009 9:11:11 PM

pyroaquatic

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This is the better side of the coin named Tribute. The sweetness of such taste much better than honey and I am rather attracted to gestures such as these.

A Tribute so that one may not fail.

It is impossible to fail.
But it is possible to succeed.

Thank you for the kind story. My faith in humanity: RESTORED.

< Message edited by pyroaquatic -- 8/23/2009 9:12:09 PM >

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/24/2009 7:38:58 AM

cloudboy

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By your reasoning, then, if BDSM is involved there is no such thing as exploitation. Hence, no one engaged in financial domination should give it a second thought, long as its under the umbrella of BDSM.

This strikes me as limitless BDSM, great for fantasy but less than workable in real life.

Anyway, good luck making such a relationship work. I haven't seen much posting history about it, but I look forward to seeing it in the future.

BTW, TM (the OP) holds down a professional job and does not engage in financial domination. What she likes, and what I think most women would prefer, is a generous thoughtful partner -- which is quite different than domination or anything BDSM related (kink.)

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/24/2009 8:01:17 AM

ShaktiSama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
Financial domination is a radical departure from a normal, healthy, well-adjusted relationship.

Yeah, and I'm just dying to be in one of those.

Just about every act and desire associated with BDSM has been pathologized at one time or another, and always will be. I've read Psychopathia Sexualis just as porn.

For the vast majority of human beings "normal, healthy, well-adjusted relationships" do not include ANY form of bdsm play or power exchange, ever. So you'll have to forgive us if these words have lost all power to intimidate in a community of people who have already found that they only feel happy or "well" when they are being "sick", "degenerate" and "depraved".

When it comes to genuinely consenting adults, there is no "healthy" or "sick". There is only "hawt or not". Using words that try to stigmatize other people's kinks and relationship dynamics is usually considered childish in this community, and rightly so. Personally, I've noticed that the guys who endlessly whinge about financial domination are usually using the money as one of many ways of withholding power from a potential dominant. The desire to avoid financial domination is always, without fail, accompanied by the rhetoric of egalitarianism and equality between the sexes and within the relationship.

Needless to say, that alone is a huge turn-off for some dommes, myself among them. I don't give a damn about money in general, but if a man tried to use it as a means of withholding power I would take every dime and stick he had and every dime he'd ever make. Resistance is futile. You will be devoured.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/24/2009 9:30:01 AM

aidan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

I don't give a damn about money in general, but if a man tried to use it as a means of withholding power I would take every dime and stick he had and every dime he'd ever make. Resistance is futile. You will be devoured.

*smiles sheepishly and hands over his thin little wallet* Okey. ^__^

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/24/2009 10:32:49 AM

GoDolphins

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YveGee

I am not one to want tribute but....

Several years ago, I didn't work for pay; my husband earned enough money for me to stay at home and enjoy my stable of five subs. I made an effort to see each of them on a regular basis. I was having fun!

Then my husband lost his job. I began looking for work and had less time to spend with my subs. Money began to get really tight and we were seriously worried about losing our home. My husband and I talked about the possibility of having to move in with family and I began the process of warning the subs that I might have to break things off.

I found a job but we were still scraping by and I still lacked in free time. One of the subs invited me to dinner and a movie. No BDSM; he just wanted the pleasure of my company. We enjoyed a nice evening together. As we were parting, he hugged me and said he knew things would get better. That night, as I was digging through my purse, I found an envelope stuffed with $280.

He refused to ever discuss the envelope. He told me once that the pleasure of spending time with me was worth more but that was the most his ATM would let him take out at one time (he used $20 to pay for the movie).

That, to me, was tribute.

You know the situation better than I do, so I could be wrong, but I think this sounds more like a gift from someone worried about someone they care about in a bad situation than a true tribute for BDSM services. And yes, I do think there is a huge difference between the two.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/24/2009 10:44:36 AM

PeonForHer

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Gawd. To me, that was a gift given in the nicest possible way. But isn't that phrase 'a true tribute for BDSM services' full of problems? A) 'true tribute' - so what's a 'fake' tribute?, B) Aren't 'services' by definition provided by 'a servant' rather than a dominant?

Nah. "Tribute" is henceforth erased from my lexicon!

Except when I go to my local pub. My favourite ale happens to be called "Tribute". I went in yesterday for last orders and Dave the Barman asked, "Want a Tribute?" How I chuckled merrily, you may imagine . . .

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/24/2009 11:05:55 AM

GoDolphins

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"True tribute" in the sense I used it meant is basically what the 29 pages of comments here are about, subs paying dommes for being dominated. I used that wording to distuinguish it from simple gifts like you'd give your friends or family, which is why I had the bit at the end about "for BDSM services." It's the best wording I knew to come up with at the time.

It wasn't what I was talking about, but fake tribute could be paid with Monopoly money, I guess. Hey, you asked...

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/24/2009 11:24:59 AM

PeonForHer

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I was just thinking that possibly the most sought-after tribute a woman could get is to have a piece of creative work dedicated to her. I bet Elise grew up majorly chuffed that Beethoven wrote Fur Elise for her, for instance. In the 1980s there were two very, very old ladies who fought each other bitterly, each one claiming to be the "Rosie" of Laurie Lee's book Cider With Rosie (Rosie being the author's 'first ever'). Still, such tributes wouldn't pay the fuel bills . . .

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/24/2009 12:32:36 PM

Lockit

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Peon, I have had men create for me. Poems, songs, a story or two, art work, emblems and wood crafted items. Some had to be given away when I had to safety proof my house for basically an adult toddler... but some I still have and cherish! Some I gave back to them when we were no longer an item. One was a pencil drawing of his hand which was amazing and I selfishly wanted to keep it, but I knew he would get more enjoyment out of it because it was his first hand drawing and an amazing peice. What I treasure the most though... was the heart in which these things were done and given. I will always carry those things with me wherever I go.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/24/2009 12:41:05 PM

PeonForHer

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Ah - that sounds wonderful, Lockit. Those are things to be treasured indeed . . .

OK. 'Tribute' is back in my vocabulary - it has to be for gifts like that.

But, but, but . . .

Have you ever been serenaded outside your window? Eh? The sixty four million dollar question!

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