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If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 11:56:13 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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Imagine if the tables were turned on us within this lifestyle and suddenly there were not enough male subs to go round, too many Mistresses, and a huge amount of female submissives but hardly any male Dominants. Imagine if every time a Dom or male sub went to his male box he was inundated with mail but us women hardly ever got mail.

Would women carry on this lifestyle. Would we sit and send letters in the hope that a male sub or Dom would read them and get back to us. Would we change do you think?

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Post #: 1

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 11:59:19 AM

zenny

Posts: 275
Joined: 2/13/2008
Status: offline

Not immediately, however, like countries which have had dwindling female births it would turn around - assuming a fairly constant and consistent trend.

Interesting question : )

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 2

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 12:01:45 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

There's an unlimited pool of hot, open minded and eager *vanilla* guys, many of who can be 're-trained' :)

Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 3

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 12:20:20 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Hummmm... I have to think about that one! lol

Actually, as things are... I have found that there aren't all that many submissive men who aren't into the kink first, submission to get the kink... around here at least. I have far better results with the men I meet in person and most are vanilla!

If I had to rely only on online and things were different... I really don't see myself changing much. I don't want to be one of many... I want to be seen as who I am and I tend to laugh at feeding grounds. Maybe I don't want it all that bad! lol It takes someone I see as pretty special in presentation or represnting themselves for me to respond and I don't think that would change much. I want quality no matter what the numbers are and I can wait for it. Half my thing is someone seeing my qualities as well and one of them is that I simply will not go for a feeding ground either way.

Honestly... I find it easier with men I hire to do things around here or at walmart! lol

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Post #: 4

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 12:27:40 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Truthfully, I think what would happen would be that the numbers would equal out. While there are a number of confident, driven females on both sides of the kneel, if the tables were turned, the surplus would very quickly fall to the wayside. Gone quickly would be the types who are around just to make a quick buck or anyone who is struggling with self esteem. I don't see any difference in this when it comes to gender. The fact that there might be a little competition would make some fade away quickly and those with staying power would remain.

The location that I just came from is exactly what you describe. It would have been a male sub's paradise. A number of females compared to very few males. This never bothered Me or effected Me a bit. Why? Well, for the very same reasons that I tell male subs that they need to strive for. When you're good in your chosen role, you are sought after, no matter how the numbers stack up.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 5

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 12:28:18 PM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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To be honest, I mail the men I am interested in anyways. Most of the ones who come to me aren't really what I am after for whatever reason

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Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 6

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 12:40:22 PM

cornflakegirl

Posts: 183
Joined: 7/1/2009
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

To be honest, I mail the men I am interested in anyways. Most of the ones who come to me aren't really what I am after for whatever reason

I'm finding the same thing. Hey, if I like him, I email him. Maybe he never came across my profile, maybe he's shy, maybe he doesn't think we have much in common but my first email will show him a side my profile doesn't. It's just keystrokes, it's not really that hard to drop a mail a day or so to someone who sounds like a good match.

And are there really a dearth of female subs and an overabundance of male Doms? I guess that surprises me. Is it the same in the face to face world or does this ratio only show up online?

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Post #: 7

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 12:44:12 PM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cornflakegirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

To be honest, I mail the men I am interested in anyways. Most of the ones who come to me aren't really what I am after for whatever reason

I'm finding the same thing. Hey, if I like him, I email him. Maybe he never came across my profile, maybe he's shy, maybe he doesn't think we have much in common but my first email will show him a side my profile doesn't. It's just keystrokes, it's not really that hard to drop a mail a day or so to someone who sounds like a good match.

With mine its because he's a lazy bugger and wants all the women to go to him

. To be honest I don't really think of reasons why I haven't had a mail from someone like, I just see someone, think yummy and send a message.

< Message edited by LillyoftheVally -- 8/12/2009 12:45:10 PM >

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to cornflakegirl)

Post #: 8

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 1:04:00 PM

TazDevil

Posts: 155
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

it is my "felling" that way there or female brat subs as there is enough male Dom's to go around they can get away with it, and all so way all most all male subs or so "robot" would it switch around I don’t know...

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 9

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 1:04:11 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Time for a slave raid on the local mall and then set up a slave auction on the spot. You will rake in the sheckles before you have to move locations and finally relocate to another country with no extradition laws.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 10

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 1:10:03 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
Imagine if the tables were turned on us within this lifestyle and suddenly there were not enough male subs to go round, too many Mistresses, and a huge amount of female submissives but hardly any male Dominants. Imagine if every time a Dom or male sub went to his male box he was inundated with mail but us women hardly ever got mail.

OK, the part I've bolded above... clearly I am very confused. But I had kind of thought that it IS this way. At least, everywhere I go, I seem to see more subs than doms no matter the gender. And when you start talking about credible lifestyle doms (as opposed to tops), the numbers go insane. In short, it kind of appears to me that I'm in way higher demand than my counterpart among the female slaves. I readily admit that my knowledge of the scene could rattle around in a thimble, but those are my perceptions.

quote:

Would women carry on this lifestyle. Would we sit and send letters in the hope that a male sub or Dom would read them and get back to us. Would we change do you think?

People, in general, will do ANYTHING to get their needs met... that's why we call em needs :) They would, of course, resist kicking and screaming the entire way... all such changes are resisted. But in the end, for most of us, there is no more urgent need than the mating dance. Hell, Carol really WILL do damned near anything for the sake of mating. There is no other reason she submits.

If I was to lose Carol and need to find a new partner, I would assume it'd be hard as hell... whether or not I was getting a lot of emails from various submissives (and between my various writings, I do seem to gather more than the normal amount of emails/interest). For me, at least, finding a woman who even remotely knows how to be in a relationship is bordering on impossible. If I actually found such a person who was, on top of that, a good match for me other ways I would be ecstatic. If they were also sub or slave, I'd think that I'd died and gone to heaven.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 11

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 1:23:16 PM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

I agree with Jeff.

Look at how often people go on about the obnoxious, clueless, wannabes etc. Once you weed those out, the numbers favor the Doms. And my experience (and I think, of the other men too) is like lily said--interested women present themselves.

Sometimes I go to the local groups play parties (I have friends there). They are ALWAYS short of Doms--so much so that the subs end up taking turns topping each other rather than just sit around.

Further, much the same is true of vanilla numbers. Society at large has for a while taught men not to be men. Women looking for men who can be men have a job in front of them.

Just my experience, perhaps, but it seems to hold true.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 12

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 1:23:22 PM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

Thanks for all your replies so far. Im getting some nice home attention right now so not time to reply individually but will come back later. In the mean time keep them coming!

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos

Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 13

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 2:12:26 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Imagine if the tables were turned on us within this lifestyle and suddenly there were not enough male subs to go round, too many Mistresses, and a huge amount of female submissives but hardly any male Dominants.

Would we change do you think?

I would still be the same me. Right now, I do my very, very best ever, all the time and in every way I can, and I still would if the tables were turned and there were more women than men.

There are a lot of wanna-bes and do-me subs of both genders out there so I am sure that, when that type doesn't get picked, those of us who aren't that way would still stand out and meet with success.

Just as the fantastic Dommes would have Their subs and the not-so-fantastic ones wouldn't. The "quality kinksters" would still meet with success, because quality always stands out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Time for a slave raid on the local mall and then set up a slave auction on the spot. You will rake in the sheckles before you have to move locations and finally relocate to another country with no extradition laws.

I love it IronBear!! Too funny!!

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 14

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 2:35:18 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
Just as the fantastic Dommes would have Their subs and the not-so-fantastic ones wouldn't. The "quality kinksters" would still meet with success, because quality always stands out.

That's a way better way to put what I was trying to say. Totally independent of the relative numbers in the overall pool, there is a much much smaller pool of quality picks. And I have never in my life heard someone complaing about too many available choices in that pool. This is true of any area in life, not just kink/mating. As a hiring manager, I never once found myself in a position of saying, "Gosh, there are just too many truly qualified applicants." despite working for a company with name prestige and money both. As much as I may be confident in my own personal ability to attract a mate... the sad truth is that the ones I'm looking for are extremely rare.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 15

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 2:50:43 PM

bobipanti

Posts: 87
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

And Akasha is very good with her re-training programs...

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 16

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 3:44:11 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
There's an unlimited pool of hot, open minded and eager *vanilla* guys, many of who can be 're-trained' :)

Yeah, that's kind of how I feel about slaves. If I was ever (god forbid) needing to find a new partner, I'd be searching in the vanilla pool then re-training. I like the options availabe in the much larger pool and I don't subscribe to the genetic theory of D/s.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 17

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 3:53:26 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
When you're good in your chosen role, you are sought after, no matter how the numbers stack up.

Good point although I'd have left out the 'in your chosen role' qualifier. I didn't choose my role in all of this. If anything, it chose me. I also agree with you that it would create a healthy survival of the fittest environment that I'd certainly welcome. Perhaps it would separate those that chose this from those that are this.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 18

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 3:58:13 PM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus
Good point although I'd have left out the 'in your chosen role' qualifier. I didn't choose my role in all of this. If anything, it chose me. I also agree with you that it would create a healthy survival of the fittest environment that I'd certainly welcome. Perhaps it would separate those that chose this from those that are this.

Course you chose it, we all do or else we wouldn't be on BDSM sites. You can shrug off the 'role' if you want to. I certainly chose to be here, granted I feel happy and comfortable when I am in a power exchange relationship and less so when not but that doesn't mean I would be unable to function without that, I cope being single just fine. I choose to identify with the term submissive, I choose to seek power exchange relationships.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 19

RE: If the tables were turned. - 8/12/2009 4:00:45 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Imo there IS a shortage of dominant men.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 20

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