'Beconing' a switch

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

'Beconing' a switch

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> 'Beconing' a switch

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

'Beconing' a switch - 8/13/2009 5:28:14 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

During the last ywo years I have seen 'off' four relationships. It was time to take stock.
All four relationships were with dominant males. All four I released myself from. In one particular case I still miss him very dearly but family circumstnces and age differences, created a situation that made it impossible to evolve our relationship beyond it being perfect physical play. We both knew that he could not provide any emotional component.
But it was deeper than that.
I have always been submissive. I have always needed to serve. To serve lovers, husbands, family. The position of slave fitted those combinations as near as I could describe myself. BUT and it has been an increasingly larger but...I have always been able to switch when required and when asked to by my dominant. I have found it natural to me to switch with women as I have felt myself to be an Alpha female. I'm skilful and loving...prefferring what I have felt to be the more complex reactions and needs of women submissive to me. Foregive me please any malke submissives reading this. But I just found male submissives to be too fixated on singular turn-ons, fetishes or indeed the need to be punished (for some as yet unforseen misdemeanor). I know this is not so: just my experience of them.
However I have had two relationships with those I refer to as my 'beloveds'... complax and intelligent men who are switches.
Being a switch with a switch man was like having four people in a relationship. When two people are in a relationship and both submissive nothing seems to get done and no iniatives seem to get taken. When both in dominant mode there seemed to be a battle of wills. I persoally don't know how dom/dom couples figure it out. Who was in which mode at times could sometimes be a matter of negotiation. But for me when I was satiated in my submission my dominant streak would surface.
My dominant streak will now not be silenced. And it feels freeing to me to be able to allow myself the luxury of both sets of fantasies and plans in my head and a future ahead of me to explore my dominant side.
I see it as evolution.
Sorry if this was a long post to get to my question:
who has changed here from sub to dom?
who has changed here from being dominant to being submissive?
are there switches reading this who identify with what I am saying?

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: 'Beconing' a switch - 8/13/2009 5:38:57 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

I personally feel like everyone is a switch... that is to say... has the potential for at least some amount of either D or s. Sheez, Carol is one of the most generally submissive women I know but she does just fine dom'ing me in limited situations.. notably areas where she's the expert. I'm generally pretty dominant, but I have no issues submitting when I know she's going to lead well. I value flexibility in myself and those around me.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: 'Beconing' a switch - 8/13/2009 5:40:42 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

I personally feel like everyone is a switch... that is to say... has the potential for at least some amount of either D or s. Sheez, Carol is one of the most generally submissive women I know but she does just fine dom'ing me in limited situations.. notably areas where she's the expert. I'm generally pretty dominant, but I have no issues submitting when I know she's going to lead well. I value flexibility in myself and those around me.

I like the concept kink = flexible

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to leadership527)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: 'Beconing' a switch - 8/13/2009 10:00:23 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I started out as a Domme for 5 years, and bottomed in some of my subsequent relationships, but didn't feel submissive to anyone until about 4 years ago (first with a casual playpartner, then with my last Dominant who I was with for 3 years, then with my current Master). It *was* a bit of an evolution/transformation to discover that I *could* feel submissive, and I was very surprised the first time it happened. It's a bit the other way around from your journey, so I don't know how useful to you it is. I still identify as a switch, although I'm currently in a M/s relationship. He's open to me topping other people if I'm so inclined at some point, especially in a classroom/workshop environment, but we're focusing on each other now.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: 'Beconing' a switch - 8/14/2009 12:22:46 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

I started out as a Domme for 5 years, and bottomed in some of my subsequent relationships, but didn't feel submissive to anyone until about 4 years ago (first with a casual playpartner, then with my last Dominant who I was with for 3 years, then with my current Master). It *was* a bit of an evolution/transformation to discover that I *could* feel submissive, and I was very surprised the first time it happened. It's a bit the other way around from your journey, so I don't know how useful to you it is. I still identify as a switch, although I'm currently in a M/s relationship. He's open to me topping other people if I'm so inclined at some point, especially in a classroom/workshop environment, but we're focusing on each other now.

Yes it is useful.
I know it looks like the other way round to me but I think the procees is similar in as much as my feelings evolved because of those two main relationships with my 'beloveds' as I call them: both guys who encouraged me to be non exclusive and evolve. It is a matter of focus I know but I was releasing myself from 'control' which I knew was not allowing that focus to take place.
I also think it's am ageing thing for me or should I call it maturing.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Andalusite)

Profile

Post #: 5