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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/17/2009 3:57:10 PM

newone11

Posts: 75
Joined: 6/8/2008
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We talked a lot on the phone, email and IM before meeting. Then we met a few times in public places just for dinner and getting to know each other. For our first non-vanilla meeting...and I was nervous as all get out over it...he gave me a rough schedule of events (i.e. arrive no later than 7pm, review rules/parameters/boundries, prepare dinner, etc.) and some detailed directions ahead of time. Of course, I still didn't have a clue as to how exactly it was going to go down but those helped me deal with the fear of the unknown. The schedule did get sidetracked as I was supposed to go home at the end of the evening but, hey, we all need to flexible sometimes. :)

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Post #: 21

RE: First Time Jitters - 8/17/2009 4:42:54 PM

KneelforAnne

Posts: 1011
Joined: 6/14/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Be friends, care about one another, communicate, laugh, joke, not take every step with such gravity that a single misstep will destroy everything. In other words, just be real with one another. :>
Davan

I love this advice.

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Post #: 22

RE: First Time Jitters - 8/21/2009 1:56:28 AM

shadowpleasure

Posts: 10
Joined: 8/18/2009
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I'm enjoying reading all these. I'm still a "virgin" myself, and looking for someone to hopefully meet and start something wonderful with. These stories make me feel better, since I'm feeling the same thing before I've even met my dom-to-be, lol.

Thanks for the thread, and may a long happy life follow you.

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Post #: 23

RE: First Time Jitters - 8/21/2009 3:10:21 AM

PhoenixRed

Posts: 174
Joined: 10/7/2007
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FR

I have dealt with a lot of newbies. For initial meetings in person, I like to go somewhere where we can do something together, not just sit and talk. I happen to like to play pool, and luckily most of the men I've met do too, so I've had a lot of first meets in pool halls. Playing a few games of pool while getting to know each other does break some of the tension. You're moving around, and when you're focusing on a shot, you can have a break in the conversation for a short while. You can joke with the other person about missing shots or how bad of a night you are having...of course you are usually a better player! lol If pool isn't your thing, then minature golf, or whatever hobby you have in common. Not only does the activity give both of you time to reflect on what the other has said, you're also sharing in a vanilla type of interest you share.

Best of luck to you...you'll do great, Im' sure. *hugs*

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/21/2009 12:34:52 PM

BalletBob

Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
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Get to know wach other first, ove a period of time. Like MADAM and I, we done some e-mails and Yahoo chat frst, and she had me do a few things "SHE WANTED" me to do. No problem. Then we met in a public place first (Where I work), and we hit it off right away, after all that e-mail and chat.

The firs time was still alittle awkward, since nobody ever seen me naked except for my wife (and mother of course), but I got relaxed over time, and I had a great time. I understood I am there for her pleasure too, and got over my shyness quickly.

Missing it so much, sub BalletBob

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RE: First Time Jitters - 8/21/2009 1:28:11 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I would start by saying that if you've never been in a D/s situation, you shouldn't be having a Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme. You should be dating/learning/playing and trying to figure out what you actually want from a relationship and D/s before making that kind of commitment.

Disagree. Some of us can learn from other life experiences, from other's mistakes, from self reflection.

He collared me within a month of meeting in real life. Still am 7 years later. And was a total newbie when we met.

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Post #: 26

RE: First Time Jitters - 9/5/2009 5:30:46 PM

DearJessicaD

Posts: 55
Joined: 10/26/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline

There was just a HELL of a lot of trust (on my end) and a hell of a lot of respect and communication on his end. He also started small. It's not like the first time he saw my vagina he put his fist up it while I had to deep throat him, you know?

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Post #: 27

RE: First Time Jitters - 9/5/2009 5:53:30 PM

shadowowl

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/31/2004
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heh ive had 4 Mistresses/Dommes so far one i married lasted 5 years, am now unoffically sort of engaged to my current one and I still get a little nervous sometimes ;) been in lifestyle about 12 years. I think it's just importent you know the real person you are talking to and not just them as a "Mistress or Master" long as you know the real person you can take as little or as much time as you feel necessary maybe a day after knowing them in person maybe a week maybe 6months or a year everyone is different. All that matters is that you know the real person and not just a persona they present this is true for both D/s and vanilla relationships cause there are people that wear masks in both.

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RE: First Time Jitters - 9/6/2009 3:46:21 PM

sblady

Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

Oh my gosh!! I had to smile when I read your post as it brought back all the memories, including the jitters.

I don't think you can totally erase the jitters, but it does help if you have some idea of what to expect. I was extremely comfortable with Sir and was still nervous, however, I had built up enough trust to determine that he wouldn't take me too far, too quickly. Limits were discussed within our first few conversations.

Have fun, be safe and enjoy!!

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Post #: 29