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The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 2:27:45 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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No big dilemma, just introducing the following as a point of conversation. :>

During a conversation the other day, the person to whom I was speaking referenced something about when they own a person. The statement was innocuous, just a person using their preferred terminology. I mentally squicked at the utilization, though didn't note it aloud (It wasn't relevant to the discussion and I wished to ruminate on it further).
When I had occasion to indulge said thought process, I went to the idea that I don't even say that I own my pets; I consider myself their keeper or even in a parental role toward them; theirs are lives over which I have accepted stewardship.
When I think of a person who is Mine, I don't ever go to the idea of ownership, rather responsibility for them/to them (Regardless of the side of the kneel) and certainly a possessiveness without the idea that they are a possession.
To me, owned seems to connote to objectification which, in general, isn't something that 'does it' for me and I think that's a big chunk of why I don't like it, along with the fundamental idea (From my years of animal welfare involvemet) of the belief that no living thing can be a possession/owned.
My thoughts on the matter are not meant to demean those who use, dig, or otherwise feel warm and fuzzy about the term: in fact, I'm starting the thread to open a dialogue about peoples' perceptions of the term. :>

Happy Saturday, folks! :>
Davan

_____________________________

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-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

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Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

Post #: 1

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 2:33:11 PM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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I don't see owned like that, I think I did at some point, it is all about what the person using it means. There are terms I hate and know that I could never have used in relation to me, but not owned. Its funny what different things push buttons isn't it.

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Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 2

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 2:36:12 PM

peachgirl

Posts: 396
Joined: 6/25/2009
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I suppose it's no different than any other label which we apply to ourselves: dom, sub, slave, master...each person will have their own definition.

as for myself and my Daddy/Master, we particularly enjoy the objectification associated with the term "owned"...I find myself flourishing in the capacity that I am owned by him, and that I serve his needs in that capacity as well.

_____________________________

Have you seen that girl in the corner?
I'd like to take her out of her chains
Cause if I had my way with you baby
I would be changing your life today.
- Bob Welch

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 3

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 2:39:47 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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I'm a Dom, and when I think of the term "owned", I first think of the responsibility that the D type must carry.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 4

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 2:44:44 PM

leadership527

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For me, it's pretty basic. It means that I own Carol much like I would a dog or cat. It means I've created a new category in my head that didn't reallly exist before.. that of an owned human (aka, a slave). For me, this has nothing to do with how much responsibility I carry, that gets connected to how much authority I have. This "ownership" thing is sttricly a mental construct. It's me making her my slave in as real a way as I know how.

edited to add: As to the whole "objectification" thing, I don't see how that follows from "owned". I view Carol exactly as she is, an owned human. Not an owned coffee table, radio, or skate board. The only thing I'm turning her into is... well.. an owned human.

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 8/15/2009 3:23:22 PM >

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 5

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 2:48:36 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
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I asked to be owned.....not to be a sub or a slave. Owned is *belonging to him*. Like his dog.......but slightly less well behaved.

agirl

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 6

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 3:07:20 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I always said that we don't own the animals, they own us. I have responsibilities to them, which means I service their needs, they don't service mine.

None of that is relevant to a relationship with another adult. Here we have responsibilities towards each other.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 7

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 3:07:34 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I was his. I never considered myself owned. He was mine. I didn't own him either. Owned to me as a indicator of a relationship, is more to make people feel above the norm. And since I have always enjoyed bdsm within a relationship, what I am is quite normal to me. I never needed to feel this was something above what I have had before.
Owned.. is when you want or need it, to make yourself wet or hard or feel like this is not nilla.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 8/15/2009 3:08:06 PM >

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 8

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 3:07:51 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Another in favor of the term, Davan. I think that something I wrote in response to one of lovingpet's threads fits well here.

In clip's case, desiring to be owned has been a part of him for as long as I've known him and was probably there in some form his entire life. It's part of what makes him who he is. I remember explaining ownership (in My opinion) to him that first time and watching his face. It was like a lightbulb that was turned on inside of him. As though someone had put into words that thing in his inner being that he had carried with him all along, but never knew how to express.

My being the person who wants that ownership, is something like being the yin to that yang. It encompasses My desire to be the one who takes hold of that ownership. We often talk of the s types inner longing to be owned, but an opposite craving of the same type exists for us D or M folks. Well, some of us anyway.

Though I did very much like the analogy for your pets. (I'm thinking you are talking about the ones with natural fur.) As many of us with cats would tend to agree, I'm not quite sure if we own them at all.

Happy Saturday to you, too.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 9

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 3:08:07 PM

KCalli

Posts: 81
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

No big dilemma, just introducing the following as a point of conversation. :>

During a conversation the other day, the person to whom I was speaking referenced something about when they own a person. The statement was innocuous, just a person using their preferred terminology. I mentally squicked at the utilization, though didn't note it aloud (It wasn't relevant to the discussion and I wished to ruminate on it further).
When I had occasion to indulge said thought process, I went to the idea that I don't even say that I own my pets; I consider myself their keeper or even in a parental role toward them; theirs are lives over which I have accepted stewardship.
When I think of a person who is Mine, I don't ever go to the idea of ownership, rather responsibility for them/to them (Regardless of the side of the kneel) and certainly a possessiveness without the idea that they are a possession.
To me, owned seems to connote to objectification which, in general, isn't something that 'does it' for me and I think that's a big chunk of why I don't like it, along with the fundamental idea (From my years of animal welfare involvemet) of the belief that no living thing can be a possession/owned.
My thoughts on the matter are not meant to demean those who use, dig, or otherwise feel warm and fuzzy about the term: in fact, I'm starting the thread to open a dialogue about peoples' perceptions of the term. :>

Happy Saturday, folks! :>
Davan

Interesting topic. To me, to be owned (am submissive, of course) is a term of honor and pride. I do not find it demeaning or derrogatory in any way, unless used in that manner. I also know that I chose to be owned. No one forced, or cooerced me. I believe that might have something to do with the "warm fuzzie" feelings. I do agree with what you say when someone/thing does not have a choice in the matter. It does not have the same feel.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 10

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 4:18:55 PM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

To me, owned seems to connote to objectification which, in general, isn't something that 'does it' for me and I think that's a big chunk of why I don't like it, along with the fundamental idea (From my years of animal welfare involvemet) of the belief that no living thing can be a possession/owned.

You hit upon it exactly; for some people, the objectification is precisely what they find arousing, pleasing, and satisfying. We use the word precisely because it has such powerful meanings- the person you spoke to used the word carefully and deliberately.

Of course it is different for everyone, but some people really enjoy feeling objectified, whether it is being seen as a pet, a servant, or a toy to be played with. Some enjoy being put on a leash to be taken for a walk, or used as a footstool for a Mistress, or hooded and used as a mute sex toy at a party.

I remarked on this in another post about the use of the word slavery, how we construct our realities not just by our activities, but by our words; Words are some of the tools used to construct the framework of power and control.
For instance, Masters and Mistresses often call their slaves "boy" or "girl"; they often hood them, blindfold them, strip them literally as well as figuratively, even change their name, all as part of the process of gaining and maintaining power and control over the other.

Calling someone an "owned slave" is a very powerful tool, exactly because the words come with so much loaded imagery.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 11

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 4:45:38 PM

NBCNCO

Posts: 18
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

I believe "objectification" and "ownership" are very appropriate terms. To me, they do not lessen the value I place on my girl, or her importance to me. My girl is my most valuable property; the thing I'd grab first if I awoke and the building was burning. The thing I would be most angry to find another man messing with. The thing I treat with utmost care so that it is useful to me for a long, long time. She's a prized collectible that I show off when I take her out in public, and that I would loan to only the most trustworthy individuals.

(in reply to AnimusRex)

Post #: 12

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 4:57:45 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

to me owned means property of hands off mine mine mine and mine all mine :)

(in reply to NBCNCO)

Post #: 13

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 5:02:26 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

To me, owned seems to connote to objectification which, in general, isn't something that 'does it' for me and I think that's a big chunk of why I don't like it...

And in contrast, probably the reason why it so totally works for me.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 14

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 5:16:33 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

I do like the feeling of being Yours and Yours alone.

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You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 15

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 5:16:49 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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I think ownership comes down to choice be it furrypets or people! I think I own the dog and delude Myself into thinking I own the cat

. BUT I am fully aware that I own them only as much as they allow Me to ... they could run away if they didn't want to be owned by Me. So it is their choice to live under My ownership ... and it is My responsibility as their owner to look after them well so they never regret that choice. With the cat approaching her 21st birthday in October ... I must be doing something right! And the dog is now 10, though I only got her 5 years ago. Can't see her running off anywhere though with life on the road, there would be ample opportunity now.

In the same way, ownership of a person can only occur if that person wants to be owned. Master owns me, because i want Him to own me, and i have yielded that ownership status to Him. For us it's not the objectification side that floats our boat, it's the possession side. i am His (and He is mine, though i don't own Him). As we are poly, it's not about being exclusive of others either. It's more to do with the peace of mind of knowing what IS. Not sure if i've explained that really clearly but it's the best i can do on a Sunday morning!

Good thread though Davan.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 16

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/15/2009 7:12:27 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I own a House... and I owe mortgage payments....

That pretty much sums it up for me... Nothing is free! I think it's more a question is the price paid worth the value gained....

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 17

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/19/2009 1:41:36 PM

Gaulthierdewin

Posts: 22
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline

True ownership of one being by another is not lawful in our society. With that said, it is the illusion and the creation of the illusion of ownership that has drawn me to this lifestyle. The more real the illusion the better.

One devise I find that has worked for me and people I have engaged with in a Master/slave relationship is an actual document - an indenture of servitude. The indenture would be very specific outlining the terms of the relationship and the duration. Of course such a document is not enforceable.

I have created for past slaves indentures of servitude which have lasted for a duration of 48 hours, 28 days and 1 year. I have had two slaves enter into states of indentured servitude with me which lasted for several years, opting to renew their contracts at the end of each one. During which time they have stated that they definitely felt "owned".

Although it was merely a document it did have an emotional impact on both women. One once explained to me that, in the past, she had had several partners who desired sex from her but this was the first time she felt completely desired and owned.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 18

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/19/2009 2:31:15 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
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I see ownership in several ways because it can work in several ways.

You can deal with a submissive who feels "owned" by you though there has been no collaring, there are things that need to be worked out...sometimes very important things... but have not been because of various circumstances, there are aspects of her life and your life that do not directly connect to each other and yet, she "feels owned" because her thoughts revolve around you, you are the one who listens when she is down/happy/angry/sad/horny, you are the one who answers every question honestly even when the answer is not what she wants to hear, you are the one who calls her on her bullshit and won't let her run because she didn't like hearing that she was wrong, you are the one who treats her as an object when you need to.
You can collar a submissive and make them feel owned through the act of collaring itself and by then taking on the responsibilities of caring for your "property" and/or by calling them "Yours".
You can feel "owned" when the presence of your dominant in your life is all-encompassing and not necessarily in terms of control over everything but because of his/her willingness to take that control and the responsibility that goes with it and the pervasion (not perversion, you dirty people...~grin~) of the dominant in every aspect of the submissive from outside to her inner core.
I am sure there are plenty of other ways to make someone feel owned, even to the extent of feeling "owned" ...in a good way...when you are on the dominant side of the whip.

What ownership denotes and what it entails is going to be different for everyone...for some, like you OP, it is not a term that brings "warm fuzzies" to mind. For others, it will bring those "warm fuzzies" or those "evil heats" or a combination of those "hot thrills and cold chills".

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 8/19/2009 2:55:43 PM >

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 19

RE: The Term 'Owned' - 8/19/2009 4:10:59 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

True ownership of one being by another is not lawful in our society.

Interesting... so the only "true" ownership is that which is legally enforceable? I think reality would beg to differ with that assertion.

In fact, at least to us, the actuality of occupying that headspace carries a lot more weight than a faux-contract which truly is illusory. In general, we (read that as me) prefer to deal in the actual rather than the fantastical. Independent of what is legally enforceable, both Carol and I perceive the situation as her being my owned property. Sure, at some point in the future that might change... but then again, that is always true of any ownership. But for now, it is as real as it gets.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Gaulthierdewin)

Post #: 20

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