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Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 7:44:03 AM   
NastyJ


Posts: 34
Joined: 7/10/2009
From: Lyons, Ga
Status: offline 		So four nights ago I made plans for a flagellation scene with a female DOM in two weeks. The thing is that im the one who is geting flog. Im also still new to BDSM. I have went to some muchs and a demo on floging two mouths ago. The crazy part of my first demo was when I ask how hard should I swing the floger because im learing to be a Dom. The Dom told me to turn around to face the table. Next thing I know im geting flog by two female doms. I endit up geting a hard on and a warm feeling on my butt. So anyway four days latter im having second thoughts. So am I going to fast?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 7:52:12 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		if you're having second thoughts then you're either going too fast or you're getting nervous excitement/anticipation...

no one knows the answer to your questions but you.

(in reply to NastyJ)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 7:53:06 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Only you can answer that.  Some people get into this lifestyle at lightspeed, others at a snails pace.  You have been flogged before, so it is not like you are going into this completely blind.  Use common sense, state your boundaries and that you are new to the scene to this Domme.  If she is worth her salt, she will watch you and not take you where you should not go anyway.  The most important thing is, have fun.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to NastyJ)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 7:55:59 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		So, it sounds like you are saying you are learning to be a Dom, but was turned on by a Domme flogging you, and now you have plans to be flogged again. Do you know the Domme who will be flogging you? Does she know this will be your first scene? Where is it going to occur?

If you are having second thoughts, try to figure out if you are just worried because it's your first time or worried because you thought you were a Dom but are now enjoying "submissive" activities, or both. It sounds like you have some connections to a local community, so maybe see if there is someone you can talk with about your feelings. Perhaps the Domme you will be meeting? In any case, if you think you are going too fast, you probably are.

Best of luck,
LadyJulieAnn

(in reply to NastyJ)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 8:00:45 AM   
SweetNika


Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline 		You said yourself that you are very new to the BDSM scene. I personally think to many get caught up in the "labels" and forget that it is about what works for you. You can be a dominant and still enjoy allowing someone to top you. Perhaps your a switch. Perhaps you neither submissive or dominant ... there is no clear cut answers but if some thing doesn't feel right ask yourself why.

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika


(in reply to NastyJ)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 8:01:37 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I don't follow.  It's possible to have a relationship with another person (or multiple people) go too fast because suddenly you find out that, compatible as you are in the sack, you're not compatible outside of it.  And that leads to breakups, hurt feelings, regrets, etc.

In your case, you're only finding out what you like and don't like, and what you're good at.  No possible breakups and no hurt feelings.  So what's the issue with "too fast"?

Until you have further insights, call yourself a switch and move forward.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 8:04:28 AM   
NastyJ


Posts: 34
Joined: 7/10/2009
From: Lyons, Ga
Status: offline 		I do know her and she know's that im trying to be a dom. Im just exporing being a sub.

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 8:07:16 AM   
NastyJ


Posts: 34
Joined: 7/10/2009
From: Lyons, Ga
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

You said yourself that you are very new to the BDSM scene. I personally think to many get caught up in the "labels" and forget that it is about what works for you. You can be a dominant and still enjoy allowing someone to top you. Perhaps your a switch. Perhaps you neither submissive or dominant ... there is no clear cut answers but if some thing doesn't feel right ask yourself why.


That is what im trying to find out.

(in reply to SweetNika)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 8:21:26 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyJ

So four nights ago I made plans for a flagellation scene with a female DOM in two weeks. The thing is that im the one who is geting flog. Im also still new to BDSM. I have went to some muchs and a demo on floging two mouths ago. The crazy part of my first demo was when I ask how hard should I swing the floger because im learing to be a Dom. The Dom told me to turn around to face the table. Next thing I know im geting flog by two female doms. I endit up geting a hard on and a warm feeling on my butt. So anyway four days latter im having second thoughts. So am I going to fast?

Why are you having second thoughts about having a hard on?
I'd be having thoughts about it all the time if I had a dick.


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to NastyJ)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 8:37:45 AM   
cornflakegirl


Posts: 183
Joined: 7/1/2009
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyJ

So four nights ago I made plans for a flagellation scene with a female DOM in two weeks. The thing is that im the one who is geting flog. Im also still new to BDSM. I have went to some muchs and a demo on floging two mouths ago. The crazy part of my first demo was when I ask how hard should I swing the floger because im learing to be a Dom. The Dom told me to turn around to face the table. Next thing I know im geting flog by two female doms. I endit up geting a hard on and a warm feeling on my butt. So anyway four days latter im having second thoughts. So am I going to fast?


Am I reading that wrong or did you get flogged without consent or even knowledge that that was going to happen? I'd be fucking pissed if I were you, and I already know I like being flogged. :/

_____________________________

I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well.

Away from the computer more often than not.

(in reply to NastyJ)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 8:46:01 AM   
NastyJ


Posts: 34
Joined: 7/10/2009
From: Lyons, Ga
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cornflakegirl
Am I reading that wrong or did you get flogged without consent or even knowledge that that was going to happen? I'd be fucking pissed if I were you, and I already know I like being flogged. :/


No your not it's the truth.

(in reply to cornflakegirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 8:54:16 AM   
cornflakegirl


Posts: 183
Joined: 7/1/2009
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyJ


quote:

ORIGINAL: cornflakegirl
Am I reading that wrong or did you get flogged without consent or even knowledge that that was going to happen? I'd be fucking pissed if I were you, and I already know I like being flogged. :/


No your not it's the truth.


I get that it was hot, but I am also really sorry that happened to you. That seems really out of bounds with safe and ok and normal.

_____________________________

I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well.

Away from the computer more often than not.

(in reply to NastyJ)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 9:11:38 AM   
NastyJ


Posts: 34
Joined: 7/10/2009
From: Lyons, Ga
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cornflakegirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyJ


quote:

ORIGINAL: cornflakegirl
Am I reading that wrong or did you get flogged without consent or even knowledge that that was going to happen? I'd be fucking pissed if I were you, and I already know I like being flogged. :/


No your not it's the truth.


I get that it was hot, but I am also really sorry that happened to you. That seems really out of bounds with safe and ok and normal.


I forgot to say I got paddle a few times and got pop once with a dragon's tall but I had on shorts. It was'it a scene BTW

(in reply to cornflakegirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 9:12:43 AM   
cornflakegirl


Posts: 183
Joined: 7/1/2009
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyJ


quote:

ORIGINAL: cornflakegirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyJ


quote:

ORIGINAL: cornflakegirl
Am I reading that wrong or did you get flogged without consent or even knowledge that that was going to happen? I'd be fucking pissed if I were you, and I already know I like being flogged. :/


No your not it's the truth.


I get that it was hot, but I am also really sorry that happened to you. That seems really out of bounds with safe and ok and normal.


I forgot to say I got paddle a few times and got pop once with a dragon's tall but I had on shorts. It was'it a scene BTW


It just seems really bizarre that they would spring any of that on you without asking.

_____________________________

I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well.

Away from the computer more often than not.

(in reply to NastyJ)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 9:17:37 AM   
NastyJ


Posts: 34
Joined: 7/10/2009
From: Lyons, Ga
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

You said yourself that you are very new to the BDSM scene. I personally think to many get caught up in the "labels" and forget that it is about what works for you. You can be a dominant and still enjoy allowing someone to top you. Perhaps your a switch. Perhaps you neither submissive or dominant ... there is no clear cut answers but if some thing doesn't feel right ask yourself why.


That is what I am concen about. geting label when I haveit find my role . It happen when I went to the demo the fem subs noice the way I actit and call me a sub.

(in reply to SweetNika)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 9:25:42 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

So am I going to fast?


If, as your profile indicates, you're looking to get severed, you can't ever go too fast.

(in reply to NastyJ)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Going to fast? - 8/16/2009 10:28:57 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		it is different for everyone people explore in different ways but in the end you are who are people can not change their core charector just my take

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 17
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