Andalusite
Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009 Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: slavekal You are probably unique. Most women are not looking for this guy and that guy to drop in whenever they feel like it for a free session. I have found that many lifestyle dommes are looking to be served, not just to play. At parties and such, they might just want to play, but on a day to day, they have expectations of their subs. We're obviously not communicating clearly, I just said that I didn't expect service or money. When I played casually, I mostly did so at parties, since it felt safer, but I always planned ahead of time to meet someone there, rather than just randomly playing with someone who happened to show up. I also had egalitarian kinky relationships in which I topped my boyfriend at the time. They didn't serve me, there wasn't a D/s dynamic going on, and they certainly didn't pay me, but we spent time together doing boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, hanging out with mutual friends, going out on dates, etc. They could indeed just get an hour (or more) of play when the mood struck them, subject to our work schedules and such, most of the time. quote:
ORIGINAL: subtee This is likely a naive post ~ I know almost nothing about the pro Domme thing ~ however, what if there was a separate designation for pros as opposed to those seeking a relationship? Different color, different section, some way for those who want to charge can find and be found by those who want to pay. Others who would like only to find relationships could skip. On bondage.com, they do have that system - a $ in the user's profile, next to their name. Back when I used to be active there, I don't recall seeing any posts complaining about prodommes, tribute, or scammers. quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote:
ORIGINAL: lilboycaught But there's a serious problem when you have 6 or 7 male submissives for every female dominant. ... This is a serious societal problem. Not as serious as racism or sexism, but I know all of my colleagues, ...would immediately spot the descrepancy and ask...WHY? The truth is, it's not a serious problem for female Dominants. It allows us to chose the best male submissive that suits our needs. It is also not a serious problem for the submissive males that we have chosen to serve us. The only place this could be considered an issue would be among those who were in the surplus of the ratio. ... It seems that is what you're asking for people to do in relation to Domme/sub ratios. Almost as though you feel that if the numbers aren't even, male submissives are slighted in some way. They aren't. It just means that they have to realize that they have to offer the qualities that will, hopefully, get them the attention of the Domme they seek. I know that BDSM and D/s aren't just a hobby, but bear with me for a comparison for a moment. There are so many things that draw more men than women - some of them have been able to even things out a bit, but the fact is, that there are lots of things that *do* have a correlation with gender, and I don't see anything wrong with that. There are lots more men than women who are into professional team sports, auto racing, wargaming, martial arts, etc. There are far more women than men who enjoy knitting, quilting, Dressage (horseback riding), gymnastics, figureskating, etc. Computers (gaming, programming, and just being on the Internet) used to be about 90% men, now, it's a lot closer to 50/50 overall. There are other things that have had a similar turnaround, by changing in a way that appeals to more women (or more men, for those which started the other way around). In order for female dominance and topping/sadism to become more popular with women, it will need to change in ways that attracts more women. Pretty much the only way for that to happen is for male submissives and bottoms to encourage more women to give it a try, and to behave in ways that women enjoy. Even if it does draw more, though, it might still be 70% or 80% men, just because, like football and basketball, more men just plain like it. I don't see how that's broken or a societal problem. The answer to "why" is that it isn't what most women want in their romantic relationships/sex lives/however you want to put it. The high percentage of purportedly submissive men who approach Dommes and female switches in ways that actively discourage them/turn them off is also a part of "why." Back when I was searching for a partner earlier this year, around 80% of the "submissive" guys who contacted me were spammers or otherwise negative, while around 80% of the switch, top, and dominant men initiated positive contact.
|