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RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 12:54:04 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

And I think littlesarbonn has a link in his sig to a book, or books, he has written, I am sure they are not free...

Hey, thanks for reminding me. That company that published it ripped me off and hasn't sent me a nickle for a single copy sold, even though I've actually been asked to sign copies that people have bought. Didn't realize I needed that crap out of my signature. So, I guess in a way it was "free". ::snicker::

Well...that really sucks. I do hope it was worth it though, because your credibility posting on these forums giving your opinions based on your experiences are now suspect, according to cloudboy, because there's a commercial connection to your kink.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 201

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 12:55:21 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
But she also has a record of denying her professional status, and setting herself out as only a lifestyle Domme.

Well duuuh, she is one. And I challenge you to quote anything she has ever said that was not true about herself or her website. It used to be free, paid for out of her own pocket. In order to make it pay for itself, it eventually went to a membership model. Nor has she ever denied doing phone sessions. But my guess is that she has probably spent significantly more on her submissives, possibly by a factor of ten or more, than she has ever made in such work.

You seem to believe that being involved in the pro business *on any level* totally excludes being a lifestyler. The fact is that the majority of pro dommes are also lifestylers. Not all of them by any means, but it is nice work for someone who happens to like what they do a whole lot. Your attitude reminds me of a snooty artiste complaining that a fellow artiste has sold out and is therefore tainted and unworthy because they painted an advertising poster instead of sticking strictly to pure Art For Art's Sake.

quote:

If I were a professional sub -- say serving or interacting with 10-15 ladies a year -- and I were also married with a day job, that does not make me just a lifestyle sub. In addition to that, if I began to generalize about women and BDSM -- many if not most of my insights would come from my professional status wherein I'm engaged with several ladies. In the end, my professional status would be a heavy component of all things BDSM.

That's hard to say. If 95% of your time and emotional energy was in your day to day relationship with your domme wife, and every few months she also rented you out at play parties for a light nonsexual session with strangers, where would the majority of your perspective come from? This would be a very different perspective from someone whose sole income and 95% of their time and energy in BDSM was focused on pro sessions. Knowing Akasha (and yes, that would be in real life), her head is definitely in the lifestyle and in her at-home relationship, as well as in her vanilla job. The website and occasional fun with phone sessions is not a whole lot of her perspective, and it just isn't that significant to her life in general.

My own percentages are somewhere in the same neighborhood, as I spend a whole lot more play-for-fun time than I do in pro sessions. But since I have spent time where pro sessions have been most of my income (owned a pro dungeon in California for awhile), my perspective has been shaped to a greater extent by that industry. But it is a broadening of perspective, not a narrowing. Fundamentally, I see people as human beings first, and whether they end up as clients or friends and potential play partners is very much up to them and the choices they make. Emailing me with sexually explicit or kink related suggestions right off the bat puts them in the client category. Emailing me to chat about gaming or workout techniques or other vanilla subjects in a polite and friendly way puts them in the latter category. I'm quite clear about this from the get-go, and I don't lead anyone on about the differences between what I'm looking for in my personal life and my professional services as a kinky personal trainer.

quote:

The relevance here is that it goes to the issue of the commingling of professional services and the CM web site. That's what has the OP all up-in-arms.

I'm afraid that this *is* a very pro-oriented site by its very nature. I used to have a strictly social, friends-only profile here over the years when I was not doing any pro work at all (too busy with the vanilla job), but I got so many rude solicitations that I closed it. I'm back in a professional incarnation now that I've gotten re-certified as a professional trainer and decided that it would be more fun to work only with lifestylers in my private gym. I use this site for business - in a courteous and non exploitative way within this site's TOS, I should add - and Fetlife for socializing. The lack of ASL-targeted search ability over there means that dommes don't get bombarded by horny single subs (and doms who can't read). CM is very much a "meat market" site, and this format works ideally for pros and not very nicely at all for ladies who mainly want to make friends who may or may not become play partners down the road. In my personal life that is my aim, and frankly I think that CM is the wrong place for that. A lot of the non-pro ladies have been run off by the plethora of "wanna" emails we get on this site. I was. I would not keep a social or friendly profile here; it's not a good place for that at all in my opinion.

I'd recommend that folks actively searching for "encounters" keep a profile here on CM, and folks seeking friendship, socialization, meeting local folks at events and getting to know them in a more laid-back way head to Fetlife. I shut down my personal profile here because of the meat market aspect, but as a professional, the meat market is basically what I need. So it's no surprise that the pro percentage is going to be higher here.

Hopefully this bit of perspective has been helpful. You don't know Akasha, and I'm unsure as to why you feel the need to follow her around and proclaim that everything she says is tainted because she's dabbled lightly in pro work. You may well choose to dismiss what I have to say as well because I've done considerably more than dabble, but I don't think that's really a rational view.

I appreciate the perspective that both pro domme work and being in the lifestyle have given me, and I don't feel that either one is a bad thing - or necessarily a separate thing. Who I am and how I see people hasn't changed no matter what business I'm in at the time. The main difference is that in a professional incarnation, I will respond politely to random kink related inquiries from strangers rather than blocking and deleting them, as I had to spend an inordinate amount of time doing here when I was not seeking any pro work.

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 8/19/2009 1:04:28 PM >

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 202

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:05:54 PM

KinkyColby

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/3/2008
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I agree with this man, I've known of pro dommes and the whole money thing for quite some time but I agree and honestly for the most part I would say any domme who asks for "tribute" is a bullshit domme who isn't worth the air she breathes. Same for pro dommes, though I would often like to play with many of them cause they are usually oh so hot, it comes down to this fact: Asking for money is the bdsm equivalent of being a prostitute in the vanilla world. Accept it. It's also a devisive way of getting trust before it is earned, and that will get a lot of us subs up in arms. Fast. Often it is a scam. Oh and before you say I don't know what I'm talking about I had an experience with a "pro domme" in which I didn't have to pay, it was a supposed non business thing, she actually liked me. I ended up having my limits violated. That's what comes from people that don't know how to have a real relationship and omg there are so many red flags that pop up when people say "give me money". I'm a damned good sub and I know it. Give ME YOUR F***ING MONEY and maybe I'll consider YOU! Dude always remember this, they earn you before you earn them. You are the one putting your life in their hands. They get to give tribute, earn respect, trust, or whatever else first. Don't be an ass about it but they do it first. Why does a domme need money from me? Why does she need gifts? Isn't it her job to wear the pants? Even if no gifts are exchanged either way, isn't it her job to wear the pants? I see that as neither dominant or submissive and simply manipulative. *watches as the amount of femdommes interested in him drops by the thousands* Oh well.

(in reply to lilboycaught)

Post #: 203

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:15:38 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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LOOK... Women ask for money because they can. Men ask to get their dick sucked because they can...

If they are up front about it, I can't see where there is any beef. Goddammit, if I could get a woman to kneel on her knees, naked and trembling (with just the right set of high heels) and beg to suck my dick as she gently and with all her feminine grace clasps her paycheck in my palm.........I believe I would.

How you doin'?

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to KinkyColby)

Post #: 204

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:15:59 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Completely agreed, Steven. I could list scores of sub males who were snatched up quickly because they were genuine in submission and service. Something that those who are hoping to find a fetish delivery service do not experience.

I must confess... I just snached one up really fast because I knew it felt right.. but also that he wouldn't last long out there. I saw what I wanted and that was the end of that phase! hehe The bonus... he fits me so far! The sad part... there aren't enough like him!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 205

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:28:22 PM

Arillis

Posts: 75
Joined: 10/28/2008
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Kinky Colby, it is with great humility and respect for your right to form you own opinions that I respond to your comments. In reference to tributes, I personally believe a hefty tribute is the inherent responsibility of any person adorning the cloak of submission. It seems to me a brief letter of introduction including a few hundred dollars and perhaps a couple of tickets to the symphony along with your business card would be appropriate and at the same time demonstrates a minimal level of polished social grace.
Where pro's are concerned and even more formal aproach would be in order.
Respectfully Anton

(in reply to KinkyColby)

Post #: 206

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:30:42 PM

cloudboy

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Joined: 12/14/2005
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Thanks for your insights and input, but you have mischaracterized / stated much of what I said. You also read more into it than was there. So, we can't really have much further exchange about it.

Also, being a professional sub in the hypothetical did not mean being loaned out to others by my wife, it meant being an independent business contractor in that field. That would mean marketing, promotion, and meeting others to fulfill their needs. In the process, I would probably learn a lot from those experiences, which would require me to connect with others to earn my pay. Ergo, much of my view of BDSM and women in general would come from this experience. Its just axiomatic.

I know this field does not really exist, but its just a hypothetical example. It was slick though, how you turned my hypothetical into your own. Now, that's cagey.....

I just don't believe that you say "I'm just a lifestyler," when in fact you are a professional. I suppose we'll have to disagree about that.

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

Post #: 207

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:31:35 PM

Lockit

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Arillis there isn't anything respectful in anything I have heard you type out. You not only insult domina's, but submissive's. Good job there bitter buddy.

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(in reply to Arillis)

Post #: 208

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:45:55 PM

Arillis

Posts: 75
Joined: 10/28/2008
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Don't believe her, I am incapable of insulting. A shy unassuming mild mannered misperceived and often timid little fellow and she would portray me as something different

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 209

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:48:06 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KinkyColby
I would say any domme who asks for "tribute" is a bullshit domme who isn't worth the air she breathes. Same for pro dommes

"Stealth pros" are not ethical. If there is to be an exchange of services for money, that needs to be stated clearly and honestly up front. However, what exactly is wrong with a fair transaction between consenting adults?

quote:

Asking for money is the bdsm equivalent of being a prostitute in the vanilla world.

Asking for money for anything is the equivalent of being a prostitute, if you look at it that way. Doesn't matter whether you're an artist, a plumber or a doctor. But if you think that it is wrong or immoral to exchange time and energy for money if that exchange involves anything even mildly sexual, you should just say so up front. Do you think sex workers are bad or evil?

quote:

I had an experience with a "pro domme" in which I didn't have to pay, it was a supposed non business thing, she actually liked me. I ended up having my limits violated. That's what comes from people that don't know how to have a real relationship and omg there are so many red flags that pop up when people say "give me money".

There are scumbag pro dommes, and inexperienced pro dommes, and emotionally disturbed pro dommes. Being a pro domme doesn't mean you're automatically ethical or experienced or emotionally stable by any means. Nor does it mean the reverse. Like all other human beings, pro dommes can be a pretty variable lot. Your story sounds to me like somebody excusing their prejudice by saying that they were once beaten up by a black person.

quote:

I'm a damned good sub and I know it. Give ME YOUR F***ING MONEY and maybe I'll consider YOU!

If you were sufficiently hot, local and willing to engage in certain activities, I'd consider paying for it. But arrogance aside, your negative attitude makes you *not* a good sub. Not because you are unwilling to hire a pro; that's fine. It's the fact that you're being actively ugly in public towards a whole group of people, most of whom you don't even know and have never met. That is not attractive.

quote:

Why does a domme need money from me? Why does she need gifts? Isn't it her job to wear the pants? Even if no gifts are exchanged either way, isn't it her job to wear the pants? I see that as neither dominant or submissive and simply manipulative.

Some femdom relationships do involve the domme paying for everything. I've been in several of those. However when we're talking about the average pay-for-play client, *all he wants of me* is basically a drive-through McDomme's service provider. The trade is my time and energy for his money, since he is not giving anything else back - not his service, not his real submission, not even his friendship. There is no manipulation involved; it's a straightforward hourly fee, and a fair exchange between consenting adults.

quote:

*watches as the amount of femdommes interested in him drops by the thousands* Oh well.

Yes, but do you know why? It's not necessarily because they want money from you. The non pros are going to be turned off by your rant as well. And frankly if you're not prepared to show a woman why she's special to you, you don't deserve her attention. If you don't have any money, there are many other things you can do and other gifts you can give of yourself that don't cost money. But if you're just plain stingy and unwilling to give anything at all, it won't be any surprise at all if you stay single.

(in reply to KinkyColby)

Post #: 210

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:48:53 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Snag you a spellchecker, and some punctuation (especially in your profile, it is your resume, after all) because................just --- DAMN!

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Arillis)

Post #: 211

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:56:42 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

LOOK... Women ask for money because they can. Men ask to get their dick sucked because they can...

If they are up front about it, I can't see where there is any beef. Goddammit, if I could get a woman to kneel on her knees, naked and trembling (with just the right set of high heels) and beg to suck my dick as she gently and with all her feminine grace clasps her paycheck in my palm.........I believe I would.

How you doin'?

Ron

Yeah....about the time I'd get on my knees, you'd remember you have direct deposit.........

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 212

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:57:03 PM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Actually your words portray you as something quite different from the beleaguered put upon fellow you would have us swallow. I have seen folk like you on nearly every internet forum I have been on - I call them "Intellectual Bullies". You have a minor grasp of the English language and a smattering of psychology you try to use it cleverly to mask snide jabs and slights on others while appearing to be the soul of wit and civility garbed in a robe of kindness, forum etiquette, and "Why, I'm sure I don't know what you mean..."

It's a big plate of BS and people here see what you really are doing.

< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 8/19/2009 1:58:22 PM >

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to Arillis)

Post #: 213

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:57:52 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Thanks for your insights and input, but you have mischaracterized / stated much of what I said. You also read more into it than was there. So, we can't really have much further exchange about it.

Also, being a professional sub in the hypothetical did not mean being loaned out to others by my wife, it meant being an independent business contractor in that field. That would mean marketing, promotion, and meeting others to fulfill their needs. In the process, I would probably learn a lot from those experiences, which would require me to connect with others to earn my pay. Ergo, much of my view of BDSM and women in general would come from this experience. Its just axiomatic.

I know this field does not really exist, but its just a hypothetical example. It was slick though, how you turned my hypothetical into your own. Now, that's cagey.....

I just don't believe that you say "I'm just a lifestyler," when in fact you are a professional. I suppose we'll have to disagree about that.

What a highly suspicious and paranoid way to look at people who may, on some level, receive compensation for their work. And how very sad. Not taking anything away from those people who do *earn a living* doing kink and may have to network like crazy, but many kinky people make very, very little money related to kink yet have some small thing on the side. I doubt slavekal is retiring on his book sales and BoiJen is paying her rent with the clips4sale link on her sig. Yet, they are suspect, now, because they live in a world where things may be somehow impacted by them wearing some 'money earning glasses' or something?

Do you think every time you are introduced to a mutual friend who has a business, that person is going to rip you off and try to sell you something you don't want? Is every lifestyle/pro femdom at a BDSM looking for CLIENTS, if she happens to do 1 pay session a month to supplement her income as an accountant?

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 214

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 1:58:22 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

LOOK... Women ask for money because they can. Men ask to get their dick sucked because they can...

If they are up front about it, I can't see where there is any beef. Goddammit, if I could get a woman to kneel on her knees, naked and trembling (with just the right set of high heels) and beg to suck my dick as she gently and with all her feminine grace clasps her paycheck in my palm.........I believe I would.

How you doin'?

Ron

Yeah....about the time I'd get on my knees, you'd remember you have direct deposit.........

In a manner of speaking, were you to do that, so I would. So I would.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 215

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 2:01:24 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
Also, being a professional sub in the hypothetical did not mean being loaned out to others by my wife, it meant being an independent business contractor in that field. That would mean marketing, promotion, and meeting others to fulfill their needs. In the process, I would probably learn a lot from those experiences, which would require me to connect with others to earn my pay. Ergo, much of my view of BDSM and women in general would come from this experience. Its just axiomatic.

Exactly....and Akasha doesn't really do the marketing, promotion or meeting others gig. I do. She doesn't. It's very much an off-the-cuff thing for her, with her primary energy focused on her 24/7 at-home situation, which is why I made that comparison.

quote:

I just don't believe that you say "I'm just a lifestyler," when in fact you are a professional. I suppose we'll have to disagree about that.

Back when I ran a dungeon and community center, some local lifestyle ladies thought it was fun to drop in for the day and participate in a session or two if one was conveniently happening. It was an amusing recreation, and there was usually coffee and chitchat going on to make the dungeon a fun place for the community to drop in on. So there was actually a surprising amount of this kind of traffic. Sometimes the ladies who decided they wanted to play too were tipped money for it and sometimes not, but it was very much an off-the-cuff kind of thing for them; this wasn't their regular employment by any means.

In your apparently rather rigid judgment, did any of those ladies lose the right to say they were "just lifestylers" at that moment? If so, at which moment did it happen? When they set foot in my dungeon? When they gleefully joined in a scene and spanked a client who was already tied up? When they were given money for it? Do you lose your "lifestyle" virginity, or your "lifestyle" merit badge in the very second you participate in any transaction that involves kink, even if it's selling a book or a piece of artwork? I don't think the concepts here make a lot of sense unless you're basically thinking in a prudish "good girl vs. soiled dove" model.

I would submit that the difference between someone being primarily a lifestyler and thinking like a lifestyler, and being primarily a pro and thinking like a pro, has much more to do with their fundamental philosophy, viewpoint, ethics, intent and behavior towards others than it does with whether or not they've done some specific act in their lifetimes. And like many things in life that are more complicated than black and white can accurately depict, it is much more of a wide rainbow spectrum than a binary model.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 216

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 2:14:27 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

In your apparently rather rigid judgment, did any of those ladies lose the right to say they were "just lifestylers" at that moment? If so, at which moment did it happen? When they set foot in my dungeon? When they gleefully joined in a scene and spanked a client who was already tied up? When they were given money for it? Do you lose your "lifestyle" virginity, or your "lifestyle" merit badge in the very second you participate in any transaction that involves kink, even if it's selling a book or a piece of artwork? I don't think the concepts here make a lot of sense unless you're basically thinking in a prudish "good girl vs. soiled dove" model.

This is an important point you bring up, and one I believe I have asked cloudboy and I don't think he's had an answer. When on July 1, 2005 I went to a membership model, did my status as "lifestyler" just go away at that moment and I no longer was objective? So if I just decide the maintaining of the Web site is too much of a headache and shut it down, I am suddenly a-ok in his book and my opinions immediately become valid? At what point does he think my compensation for my Web site clouds (no pun intended) my ability to be objective and honest?

Of course it does not matter one bit to him that I don't make a living off my web site. I don't rely on it for food. I feel no pressure to keep it up. My decisions go to a pay format were more emotional and philosophical than financial, and as a marketing professional, if I wanted to make a crapton of cash off my site by being a marketing diva in kink, I would do so. It's not part of my career goals. If I change my mind some day, that still wouldn't make me less of a lifestyle femdom. It would just make him more angry, because I think at the heart of it, it makes him very bitter than a woman can have a good career, a great marriage, get compensated for her (kinky) hobby and have options for partners that are not available to him (thanks to his attitude). So much of the hostility of sub men comes from resentment.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

Post #: 217

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 2:26:13 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KinkyColby

I agree with this man, I've known of pro dommes and the whole money thing for quite some time but I agree and honestly for the most part I would say any domme who asks for "tribute" is a bullshit domme who isn't worth the air she breathes. Same for pro dommes, though I would often like to play with many of them cause they are usually oh so hot, it comes down to this fact: Asking for money is the bdsm equivalent of being a prostitute in the vanilla world. Accept it. It's also a devisive way of getting trust before it is earned, and that will get a lot of us subs up in arms. Fast. Often it is a scam. Oh and before you say I don't know what I'm talking about I had an experience with a "pro domme" in which I didn't have to pay, it was a supposed non business thing, she actually liked me. I ended up having my limits violated. That's what comes from people that don't know how to have a real relationship and omg there are so many red flags that pop up when people say "give me money". I'm a damned good sub and I know it. Give ME YOUR F***ING MONEY and maybe I'll consider YOU! Dude always remember this, they earn you before you earn them. You are the one putting your life in their hands. They get to give tribute, earn respect, trust, or whatever else first. Don't be an ass about it but they do it first. Why does a domme need money from me? Why does she need gifts? Isn't it her job to wear the pants? Even if no gifts are exchanged either way, isn't it her job to wear the pants? I see that as neither dominant or submissive and simply manipulative. *watches as the amount of femdommes interested in him drops by the thousands* Oh well.

I am going to say that I sympathize with you having your limits violated. I don't think that should happen to anyone.

That being said, your attitude does kind of suck. Believe Me when I tell you that we femdoms honestly don't need your money. (Well, I don't anyway.) However, if you can't put a crowbar in your wallet to take Me to dinner (in vanilla world, that's called a "date") or remember My birthday by doing something, that is just being cheap. Wearing the pants in a dynamic doesn't mean a sub is getting a free ride out of the deal.

As for the earning trust and worrying about you considering a Domme, I'm not going to say you're completely wrong there. Truthfully, more males should consider who in the world they are dealing with. Had you stopped to consider who you were playing with and what kind of ethics she had, rather than worrying about how "hot" she was, you may not have had your bad experience. Not that I expect that to change much. Unlike female subs, male subs in many cases don't pay enough attention to who that Dominant really is as a person.

Now, I don't know you one way or the other, but if you really are that good of a sub, you'll stand out in a positive way. Good quality subs don't remain on the market long. It's the ones of less quality that tend to be the ones that have to bring up the money issue.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to KinkyColby)

Post #: 218

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 2:35:53 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

This all strikes me as a bit odd, as cloudboy never really impressed me back when I had a friends-only social profile here as someone who was tremendously bitter or resentful. I was certainly not closeted then about having been a pro domme at one time in my life, and he wasn't chasing me around the forums trying to invalidate my views because of it. So this all surprises me some.

My life has gone through a number of changes. I owned a dungeon for awhile, then moved on to focus completely on a vanilla career for some years, and just recently decided to return to pro work with a specific bent (kinky professional fitness training) for fun and extra income. What hasn't changed is me as a person, and it annoys me no end when people take it on themselves to hand out and take away lifestyle merit badges based on whether or not someone has ever had a kink-related business transaction. Not a game I consent to play.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 219

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? - 8/19/2009 2:43:13 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

This all strikes me as a bit odd, as cloudboy never really impressed me back when I had a friends-only social profile here as someone who was tremendously bitter or resentful. I was certainly not closeted then about having been a pro domme at one time in my life, and he wasn't chasing me around the forums trying to invalidate my views because of it. So this all surprises me some.

My life has gone through a number of changes. I owned a dungeon for awhile, then moved on to focus completely on a vanilla career for some years, and just recently decided to return to pro work with a specific bent (kinky professional fitness training) for fun and extra income. What hasn't changed is me as a person, and it annoys me no end when people take it on themselves to hand out and take away lifestyle merit badges based on whether or not someone has ever had a kink-related business transaction. Not a game I consent to play.

No, LadyNTrainer, his obsession on this topic is only me, so it's a personal thing, and it's creepy as I have stated before. I refuse to communicate with him outside of this forum and perhaps he thinks this is the only way he can get attention from me. Other people have pointed out how he seems to follow me around like this and has for years on this forum - whatever. I'll go back to ignoring him.

Akasha

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(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

Post #: 220

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