quote:

ORIGINAL: Daes

What are your experiences? (Specifically with situations involving the lifestyle) Is there anything we can do as a community to bring more attention to these problems?

No one can deny that the community does have its rotten apples. I'm just bringing this topic up because I've been thinking about a lot of the things I've personally seen and heard, a bunch of horror stories, whether its rape, playing while drunk, unhealthy forms of control, or unsafe play and practices.

Now there's a small dungeon that doesnt clean their play areas. You have blood play and cutting at this club, a group of people that have Herpes that go there, and they don't SANITIZE the areas where blood is spilt. I made a comment about this to a friend of mine who goes there and says something to the equivalent of "What do you need more than rubbing alcohol?"

Can you imagine what could happen if you have someone there interested in blood sports that doesnt realize they have HIV and the staff at this club does not clean up the play areas? I mean really.

I had a friend of mine that was horrified that his Mistress would kill him if he tried leaving her, she was a psycopath that had slowly gained unlimited access to his house, and was deathly scared of calling the police for fear of what she would do to him. I tried telling him to change the locks, call the police and get a restraining order... I offered him as much help as I could and now I dont know where he is or what happened.

I have a friend who is a Domme that has had to "rehabilitate" some of her submissive friends that found themselves with violent/abusive "doms".

I know this kind of thing isn't "running rampant" throughout the community, I just wondered if anyone wanted to share cause the ugly side of the lifestyle is pretty damned ugly.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daes

What are your experiences? (Specifically with situations involving the lifestyle) Is there anything we can do as a community to bring more attention to these problems?

actually not that many and I have been around a long while and that has included working my own dungeon, knowing many others with there own working dungeon, run my own club, DM'd at most clubs in London and been involved with the underground scene.
I have seen a few stupid players, met at least one sociopath, seen people coerced through ignorance but all in all I have seen a lot more harm come to people in the vanilla world.

No one can deny that the community does have its rotten apples. I'm just bringing this topic up because I've been thinking about a lot of the things I've personally seen and heard, a bunch of horror stories, whether its rape, playing while drunk, unhealthy forms of control, or unsafe play and practices.

Unsafe practices go on in all walks of life and that includes rape, unsafe drunkards, unhealthy forms of control and unsafe play, whatever that play deems to be.
I have seen very few drunks within the BDSM scene and I have to say that when I worked as a DM I was always getting concerned voyeurs asking me about a particular scene being unsafe when in fact it was perfectly safe but just a bit heavy for their viewing.

Now there's a small dungeon that doesnt clean their play areas. You have blood play and cutting at this club, a group of people that have Herpes that go there, and they don't SANITIZE the areas where blood is spilt. I made a comment about this to a friend of mine who goes there and says something to the equivalent of "What do you need more than rubbing alcohol?"

Can you imagine what could happen if you have someone there interested in blood sports that doesnt realize they have HIV and the staff at this club does not clean up the play areas? I mean really.

Rubbing alcohol will not kill the hep virus and most clubs have the sense to use hab tab solution or at least a similar sanitizer that is used in operating theaters. It should not be the job of the staff unless absolutely necessary. The person that has contaminated it should be cleaning it.
Once a club gets a rep for not cleaning down equipment then its on a hiding to nothing but nobody should be foolish enough to start using a peace of equipment that they haven't seen cleaned.
We still get prostitutes that charge more to go bare back and we still get piercing and tat parlors that don't follow precautions and we still get promiscuous vanilla people that will sleep with umpteen people in a week without protection but what we all have is the right to watch out for the risks and make decisions on that.

I had a friend of mine that was horrified that his Mistress would kill him if he tried leaving her, she was a psycopath that had slowly gained unlimited access to his house, and was deathly scared of calling the police for fear of what she would do to him. I tried telling him to change the locks, call the police and get a restraining order... I offered him as much help as I could and now I dont know where he is or what happened.

I have a friend who is a Domme that has had to "rehabilitate" some of her submissive friends that found themselves with violent/abusive "doms".

Some sounds a lot. I have known 'some' vanilla people that have been with violent partners and I have known one (in all the years I have been into this) seriously fucked up individual that was screwed by her Dom but then she had issues before she even got with him.

I know this kind of thing isn't "running rampant" throughout the community, I just wondered if anyone wanted to share cause the ugly side of the lifestyle is pretty damned ugly.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daes


Now there's a small dungeon that doesnt clean their play areas. You have blood play and cutting at this club, a group of people that have Herpes that go there, and they don't SANITIZE the areas where blood is spilt. I made a comment about this to a friend of mine who goes there and says something to the equivalent of "What do you need more than rubbing alcohol?"

Can you imagine what could happen if you have someone there interested in blood sports that doesnt realize they have HIV and the staff at this club does not clean up the play areas? I mean really.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b



I won't go into what goes into products such as sausages

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ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b



I won't go into what goes into products such as sausages

Go on stella..... tell us about the sausages?

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And BDSM doesnt = greater

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ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

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And BDSM doesnt = greater

I may be off on this, but I read "greater" in this sense as "more intense", and, frankly, that -is- one reason that I participate in BDSM activities... one of the -same- reasons that I participate in piercing, tattooing, branding, cutting, etc.