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Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/18/2009 7:08:57 PM

MasterG2kTR

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DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS

40ish                                - 49
Adventurous                     - Slept with everyone
Athletic                              - No tits
Average Looking               - Ugly
Beautiful                            - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile          - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure          - On medication
Feminist                            - Fat
Free Spirit                         - Junkie
Friendship First               - Former very *friendly* person
Fun                                    - Annoying
New Age                            - Body hair in the wrong places
Open Minded           - Desperate
Outgoing                            - Loud and embarrassing
Passionate                         - Sloppy drunk
Professional                      - Bitch
Voluptuous                         - Very fat
Large Frame/Big Boned    - Hugely fat
Wants Soul Mate               - Stalker

WOMEN’S ENGLISH

Yes                                          = No
No                                              = Yes
Maybe                                        = No
We Need                                   = I want
I Am Sorry                                 = You’ll be sorry
We Need To Talk                      = You’re in trouble
Sure, go ahead                         = You better not
Do What You Want                   = You’ll pay for this later
I Am Not Upset                          = Of course I am upset, you moron!
You’re Very Attentive Tonight    = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN’S ENGLISH

I Am Hungry                                             = I am hungry
I Am Sleepy                                              = I am sleepy
I Am Tired                                                 = I am tired
Nice Dress                                               = Nice cleavage
I Love You                                                 = Let’s have sex now
I Am Bored                                                = Do you want to have sex?
May I Have This Dance?                          = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I Call You Sometime?                        = I’d like to have sex with you
Do You Want To Go To A Movie?           = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I Take You Out To Dinner?                = I’d like to have sex with you
Those Shoes Don’t Go With That Outfit   = I’m Gay

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/18/2009 7:48:51 PM

Tantriqu

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Ooh, our turn!!

Men's Ad:

I want a virgin = he's crap in bed
I don't want drama = he causes drama
I'm easy-going = he'll never be on time/sober
Don't be uptight = he's constantly high/unemployed
'Prefer not to say' = he's bi/married
Switch = Dom
Handsome = Fred Flintstone
Average height = Barney Rubble
Just checkin' things out = one night stand
I'll write something later = one hour stand
69 = one minute stand
Cock shot = wanker/lousy lay
Ass shot = bi
Torso shot/ass shot with strapon/arm shot with vacuum/face shot with smile = he's mine, lay off!

Your turn, ladies!

< Message edited by Tantriqu -- 8/18/2009 8:19:16 PM >

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/18/2009 7:52:21 PM

imtheman31069

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now that's funny......i don't care who you are

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/19/2009 5:58:58 PM

gadgetmaster

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That was Great I saved it to My Collection

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/20/2009 10:42:09 AM

Hillwilliam

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Hey tantrique, you forgot

Well hung = It actually sticks out of my pubic hair

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/20/2009 8:21:35 PM

Rhodes85

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From: Nova Scotia, Canada
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how about...

looking for a financially secure man = looking for a sugar daddy

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/21/2009 11:29:43 AM

Tantriqu

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Or 'well-hung' = crap in bed!
And:

'Most of my friends would say I have an easy-going personality' = Favourite reading material is restaurant kiddie placemats with the maze and find-a-word already filled in

< Message edited by Tantriqu -- 8/21/2009 11:34:22 AM >

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/21/2009 11:39:55 AM

Marc2b

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maybe I am betraying our side but this has to be said:

When a man's personal ad reads "looking for freindship only," it really means, "I'm willing to wait three dates before you let me into your pants."

< Message edited by Marc2b -- 8/21/2009 11:40:38 AM >

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/21/2009 2:16:43 PM

Tantriqu

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Oooh, I just got a new one!

I have a big dick = I am a big dick

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/22/2009 9:52:36 AM

NewMaster79

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In my experience, Petite = Short & Fat. I, myself, am voluptuous!

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/28/2009 11:26:15 AM

Tantriqu

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And another men's profile:

No headgames = he plays headgames
I want to give up control in the bedroom (six paragraph choreographed fantasy of what will be done to him follows) = he tops from the bottom
I'm handsome = he's oogly

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/28/2009 9:55:36 PM

impishlilhellcat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Ooh, our turn!!

Men's Ad:

I want a virgin = he's crap in bed
I don't want drama = he causes drama
I'm easy-going = he'll never be on time/sober
Don't be uptight = he's constantly high/unemployed
'Prefer not to say' = he's bi/married
Switch = Dom
Handsome = Fred Flintstone
Average height = Barney Rubble
Just checkin' things out = one night stand
I'll write something later = one hour stand
69 = one minute stand
Cock shot = wanker/lousy lay
Ass shot = bi
Torso shot/ass shot with strapon/arm shot with vacuum/face shot with smile = he's mine, lay off!

Your turn, ladies!

This is the only one I could quote, but absolutely hilarious and dead on!!! I think I have a girl crush.

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/28/2009 11:11:22 PM

lusciouslips19

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I have a collection of sports cars= I'm compensating for my small Dick!

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RE: Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads - 8/29/2009 2:03:17 AM

hlen5

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Man says "I won't come in your mouth", thinks "Get ready to swallow!!"

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