RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (Full Version)

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lusciouslips19 -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/18/2009 11:12:48 PM)

I say if you cant attract good in your life, you need to work on you. I discovered this about me after a broke up with someone significant 6 months ago. I could try to find another like I had the last time we broke off. Being spoiled was fun and helped but it was just a band aid. I figured that this lonely rode I am taking will reap reward later as I will have more to offer, not only to others, but to myself. There is a spiritual saying:

The answer is not without, but within...



VanityFix -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 12:17:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I do understand what you mean.  I'm sure there are glaring examples out there that each of us look at and wonder how in the world we can be in the same category.  There are femdoms out there that I would like to smack on the back of the head at times and ask them what the heck they are thinking. 

The truth is, they aren't making the whole group that identifies as one type or another look bad.  What they are really doing is making the others look good.  By muddying themselves up, they are just allowing the brighter ones to seem just a bit shinier. 



i agree, you see foolish people of every type post, the loud obnoxious minority of the group, positive and intelagent subs(or any type) post across the boards and the focus is on the few assholes kicking around, most of these are new people who are just fustrated and still figuring things out. this is just like the "young people are gonna kill us all" topic, your going to have assholes around coming and going,
i dont see it as some growing trend or evil movement,
focus on negative and you will just see that, in this case bitchy subs everywhere(such as they see nothing but fake femdoms or w/e), there are alot of lovly people posting just ignore the pesimistic ones



SweetNika -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 12:49:36 AM)

If those type of posts bother you don't read them, you can typically tell by the subject. I try really hard not to vent publically, especially in forums such as this because I don't peronally want to exspose myself so blatently to a bunch of strangers when I am already emotional. (lol) However, the reality is I don't think that those that choose to do so regardless of the label they wear impact how I look or anyone else who wears that same title looks, it does however; affect how people may look at them though but then again why would people care what a bunch of virtual strangers think of them?



fadedshadow -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 12:58:15 AM)

i try to be good



lally2 -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 1:03:04 AM)

it isnt easy to stay optimistic - after a while you start to wonder if who youre looking for actually exists anywhere else but in youre head.

the trouble is that as time goes by on here you get to recognise the tell-tale signs of mysogeny, selfishness, fabrication, fantasy and so on....,

for some, like me, the internet is really the only portal i have to meeting anyone.  i dont live in a metropolis and my local munches are largely made up of people who are looking for play partners, not Ds committment.

having said all of that i draw the line at bitching about the variables that land on my virtual doorstep, thankfully i dont get many idiots anyway, though i have recently been told that i can be made to relocate (second one sentance email) !! - i havent written back to him yet.. lol



stella41b -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 1:15:40 AM)

You know I sometimes wonder whether for some people sitting down in front of the Internet is the same as getting behind the wheel of a car - in that they go through a personality change. You know, you get the drivers who swear as they drive, they cut people up, change lanes, get nasty over parking spaces, but outside a vehicle are perfectly decent people.

I'm inclined to believe that it's just the same for some people whenever they get onto the Internet.

I also sometimes feel that if you look at how some people behave when online you can probably work out how they were potty trained and what their particular issues were. You see it here sometimes, some become very orally fixated, and others become so anal that if you were to shove a butt plug in the appropriate place you wouldn't have a cat in hell's chance of ever getting it back.

Indeed, some people seem to regress back to early childhood when they are sat in front of the Internet.. They throw wobblies when things don't go their way, they whine, show off by using rude words, insult others, perhaps subconsciously play with their privates (there's no perhaps, I've seen these things go on in Internet cafes) and it reaches the stage where you have to stop and wonder whether they also suck their thumbs, throw themselves on the floor and flail their arms about, cry, howl, and spend time sitting there in front of their laptops arms tightly folded sulking.

One of the things I've learned about being online is that the words and photos don't matter so much as what you project into your online persona, and if you project negativity outwards you almost invariably attract negativity back. If you are positive and project that outwards then you tend to attract positive attention back.



Prinsexx -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 1:32:12 AM)

It’s not just a whine about the thick headed stupid doms around here. As I say in my profile: do you like great conversation, adept social skills, stimulating debate and all of those toggled together with enough kink to tempt you to work your way through the dictionary of bdsm? Please do NOT mail me because you think being a dominant is a game. Have something more than whip yielding (pun…even had a mail saying it should be wielding arggggggggghhhhhhhhh) powers or a reference book to the Wippi in Your head and porridge for brains. I’m simply not submitting to a moron with a Sun Newspaper vocabulary. Well if it’s not a person like me banging on it’s some jerk whining about the state of the economy, the Democrats, or the Republicans, or the state of the NHS. Personally I'd like to go and strangle the person that just started a fuckin road drill….. and now the refuse men have just honked their horn like DA DA DADA DAAA: this is not a football match ok? I mean I HAVE NOT HAD ANY FCKIN SLEEP as it is and now the earth has tremors and the building they are working on overlooks the end of my street jeeeeeeez and what happened to the weather this tear like it's three years on the trot that all is done is rain...soon as I get back to academic work you can bet your bottom dolla the fuckin sun will shine then it's just waiting for me to go back to work.....don’t get me started………the whole world is full of wankers and I ain't kiddin or 'projecting' eeva whateva the ell that bloody means......



NearlyAcquiesced -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 3:42:02 AM)

Sometimes I wank in my journal and then delete it not long after. I don't like seeing the negative in journal entries or profiles, so I don't want to project it either....

But yeah, there are days. There are days.



Prinsexx -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 4:22:56 AM)

Sometimes I feel so great being so fucking miserable and then I see an image of an unknown child somewhere in the world, face swarmed with flies, struggling to carry water for miles across some godforesaken desert. And then of course I realise that all emotion is just plain luxury.



Aanakaris -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 4:30:50 AM)

I see it too. In no way is it limited to "s-types" lots of Doms whining about the same thing.

While it might be better to ask for help and come across less whiney, most people don't really want help, they want validation and probably are hoping for somebody to agree with them.
If not that, at least some attention, even if it's negative.

It's tough asking for help, especially for something as personal as a relationship, dating, or sex. Unfortunately the ones who need it the most aren't asking.



barelynangel -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 4:40:14 AM)

quote:

I just had to say something about this huge attitude problem that's going on. Those negative types would be so much better off making personal improvements and spiffing up their profiles on a positive note. It may take a little more energy than just bitching and whining, but they'd be so much the better for it. New & improved.


I don't know about everyone but to me you are way to concerned with online nicknames and what they are doing and you also say you follow these threads -- which tells me you enjoy the drama. Maybe then enjoy entertaining others. I mean if you want to be technical your OP is a bitching whining post on many levels. So i guess you can ask yourself -- why did you do it and maybe you may understand why others choose to do it.

quote:

I've followed those threads and many others all the way through


Now ask yourself are you really bitching and whining? If you say well no i am not, my post wasn't meant like that and any other excuse you can give yourself. You are for all intent and purposes whining, bitching about what others choose to post about and how they choose. Personally this -- i was so much better than THESE people makes me wonder if you want a bozo button or something or a pat on the head for your good performance.

It all is based upon interpretation. Some people on this board seem to take any question that has a personal explanation as someone is whining or bitching, most of the threads have people instinctively whining at an OP rather than discussing the question posed. Many people also put a tone on many posts that the OP never intended.

Some people just as IN LIFE - yeah offline -- are even tempered, passive, non argumentative, and all in all have a positive outlook, some have the exact opposite and many fall in between. All in all, you even stated you follow these threads avidly. So my question then is -- why do you? Because you like the blood fest, you enjoy the confrontational tude of the thread, you enjoy watching the fight or the insults etc? I mean here you are posting in a "nice" way but in the end its still bitching and whining about what other nicknames on a board are doing. What's the saying -- a rose by any other name... Also, you assume its a bad attitude that keep people from being owned, has it occured to you that to assume this is why they aren't owned -- based on what YOU interpret in a typed post -- is really well silly. MOST people actually LIVE outside of a discussion board. I have people tell me all the time when i am not discussing i am very different. I tell them, well when i am discussing -- i am discussing, i am not using the forums as a social place to find what i am advertising for in my profile. I don't know, to me, people exist outside an online discussion forum so i really don't chalk up their being alone due to how they post on such a forum. That is just way to much focus on a very SMALL part of someone's life. I know i have different personalities and ways i do things in all the different venues of my life, as stella said lol my mom looks at me like i am an alien when i drive (i have full blown conversations with cars around me lol), at work i am a different way, at home i am a different way, among certain friends i am again different depending on what we are doing etc.

However, as i said, you are an avid follower -- so what does that say about you? If these people weren't around, i would suspect you would find the boards very boring. You may say no, but according to you, you give these types of threads lots of attention so the judgment based on what you have posted as well as your i did this this and this can cause someone to form a judgment about you that you never intended to portray --- yes?

Personally, i would rather have someone post what they are feeling and be direct rather than passive-aggressiveness i see so called i am so sub people use to portray a concept of look how nice i am BS.

As they say a spade is a spade no matter how you attempt to define it.


angel



IrishMist -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 6:09:57 AM)

quote:

Before anyone says it's easy for me because I have a Dominant, I will say that when I was single, no I did not get on the boards and whine and cry about poor me and how there aren't any decent Dominants out there.

Well aren't you just sooooooooo special

If you don't like the posts...move on to something else. No one is forcing you to read them, and no one controls how you feel about them except for yourself.



SweetNika -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 6:11:57 AM)

angel,
I have read several of your posts lately and I have gained a certain respect for how you word things and do enjoy reading them.



leadership527 -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 8:06:47 AM)

It doesn't particularly bother me sweetsub. I see it as karmically perfect. People come here looking for a partner. They expose a nasty inner core to the whole freakin internet including all the partners they are looking for. They get crossed off a bunch of potential partner's lists.

For myself, I find the bad-dom and bad-sub pig-piles to be childish so I generally just avoid the threads.



Mercnbeth -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 8:29:48 AM)

quote:

 So what do the rest of ya'all have to say about this?


posts that gripe about griping are pretty ironic.



Prinsexx -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 9:19:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Personally, i would rather have someone post what they are feeling and be direct rather than passive-aggressiveness i see so called i am so sub people use to portray a concept of look how nice i am BS.

As they say a spade is a spade no matter how you attempt to define it.


angel

I so agree with this.
I'm not afraid to post.
I'm not afraid to state from the personal: for me this is the only infalible things I can talk about: my experience. Now I am not saying my experience is right OR wrong in anyone elses's eyes. I'm just saying it's my experience.
I also say (maybe not so often enough) that although I am a s-type, that I am NOT repeat NOT in relationship dynamic to this forum. It's absolutely absurd to me that a d type can come on a board and dominate by attitude, state personal prejudice about my state of mind and think, just because they are d types that they can get away with it. I say this predominantly about males because I just don't experience the same negayive put downs on the wole from women.
Now: this IS a whine. It's a spew. It's a look fuckin get off it. Get outta te kitchen if you can't stand the heat. You just have to get that I am submissive ONLY when I'm kneeling and then some...after a good take down and a wrestle as I have my mind to it right now.
And then what's the point of what I just said? It's just pouring more and more negativity on top of nagativity.
I guess some folks are just glass-half-empty types. And some folks are glass-half-full.
It may not always come across: but i try on the whole to be supportive, positive and give input. On the whole I get this reciprocated by truly amazing friends by mail.



Prinsexx -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 9:21:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

It doesn't particularly bother me sweetsub. I see it as karmically perfect. People come here looking for a partner. They expose a nasty inner core to the whole freakin internet including all the partners they are looking for. They get crossed off a bunch of potential partner's lists.

For myself, I find the bad-dom and bad-sub pig-piles to be childish so I generally just avoid the threads.

I've just done a carte-blanche on male d types.
You want to see my mail each day?
However: I'm nt including you in the gripe.
Those d types males who nurture and contribute and uplift? They know who they are.
On the whole they are in sustained relationships.
Makes me think it really does.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 9:23:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

One of the things I've learned about being online is that the words and photos don't matter so much as what you project into your online persona, and if you project negativity outwards you almost invariably attract negativity back. If you are positive and project that outwards then you tend to attract positive attention back.

This is exactly what I am saying.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aanakaris

I see it too. In no way is it limited to "s-types" lots of Doms whining about the same thing.

While it might be better to ask for help and come across less whiney, most people don't really want help, they want validation and probably are hoping for somebody to agree with them.

This too.  Some threads are actually OPs asking for ideas and help, but others are OPs just throwing negativity out and asking for affirmation of their whines and bitches.  In the second type of thread, some posters will try to offer some helpful ideas and advice for improving the situation, but the OPs in those cases will, instead, just argue for their negative stance instead of trying.


quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

Before anyone says it's easy for me because I have a Dominant, I will say that when I was single, no I did not get on the boards and whine and cry about poor me and how there aren't any decent Dominants out there.

Well aren't you just sooooooooo special

If you don't like the posts...move on to something else. No one is forcing you to read them, and no one controls how you feel about them except for yourself.

No, I'm not special.  That's not what I meant.  What I was trying to say was, I'm not forgetting what it's like to be single.  I, too, felt frustrated and disappointed at times & got all sorts of cmails from, let's just say, less-than-desirable-to-me types.....but I didn't blame the entire target group for it. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Now ask yourself are you really bitching and whining?
If you say well no i am not, my post wasn't meant like that and any other excuse you can give yourself.
Yes, I re-read my original post and it DOES come across as bitching and whining & IU apologize for that.
You are for all intent and purposes whining, bitching about what others choose to post about and how they choose. Personally this -- i was so much better than THESE people makes me wonder if you want a bozo button or something or a pat on the head for your good performance.
Please, go back and read my original post.  I did not say "i was so much better than  THESE people," or ANY people for that matter.  No, I don't want a pat on the head or any kind of button for just saying what I observe.
It all is based upon interpretation. Some people on this board seem to take any question that has a personal explanation as someone is whining or bitching, most of the threads have people instinctively whining at an OP rather than discussing the question posed. Many people also put a tone on many posts that the OP never intended.
It is true that some take all questions as whining or bitching, but I try not to.....only the ones that insist on whatever the problem is always being someone else's fault.  I normally start out trying to offer constructive input & ideas when I follow a thread like that, but after enough continuing it's-everyone-else's-fault-attitude, then I just get blunt.
Some people just as IN LIFE - yeah offline -- are even tempered, passive, non argumentative, and all in all have a positive outlook, some have the exact opposite and many fall in between. All in all, you even stated you follow these threads avidly. So my question then is -- why do you? Because you like the blood fest, you enjoy the confrontational tude of the thread, you enjoy watching the fight or the insults etc?
No, I'm not into bloodfests.  lol  I read the threads to get ideas from the answering posts on how to possibly improve myself.  I know that sometimes people do offer good advice and ideas on how to improve situations & I try to apply that to my own life.....there's always room for improvement & I know that.
I mean here you are posting in a "nice" way but in the end its still bitching and whining about what other nicknames on a board are doing. What's the saying -- a rose by any other name... Also, you assume its a bad attitude that keep people from being owned, has it occured to you that to assume this is why they aren't owned -- based on what YOU interpret in a typed post -- is really well silly.
Of course it's silly to assume being unowned is solely because of bad attitude.  It could be because of many things.....location/lack of likely meeting places, very small local kink population, shyness, personal situations of some kind, situations beyond one's control, lots of things...anything.  But bad attitude is sure not going to help change that status.
MOST people actually LIVE outside of a discussion board. I have people tell me all the time when i am not discussing i am very different. I tell them, well when i am discussing -- i am discussing, i am not using the forums as a social place to find what i am advertising for in my profile. I don't know, to me, people exist outside an online discussion forum so i really don't chalk up their being alone due to how they post on such a forum. That is just way to much focus on a very SMALL part of someone's life. I know i have different personalities and ways i do things in all the different venues of my life, as stella said lol my mom looks at me like i am an alien when i drive (i have full blown conversations with cars around me lol), at work i am a different way, at home i am a different way, among certain friends i am again different depending on what we are doing etc.
Of course most people live outside of a discussion board.  I have a full life outside of CM & I agree that not everyone is the same in real life as they are on the forums.
However, as i said, you are an avid follower -- so what does that say about you? If these people weren't around, i would suspect you would find the boards very boring. You may say no, but according to you, you give these types of threads lots of attention so the judgment based on what you have posted as well as your i did this this and this can cause someone to form a judgment about you that you never intended to portray --- yes?
In the first place, you said I am "an avid follower."  I check into many different threads, not just the gripey ones.  I'm hoping what it's saying is I'm interested in what other people think.  I happen to not know many other kink people in r/t.  Except for Sir & I, I only know two other people in r/t that are not vanilla.
Personally, i would rather have someone post what they are feeling and be direct rather than passive-aggressiveness i see so called i am so sub people use to portray a concept of look how nice i am BS.
Being straight-forward is always better than passive-aggressiveness.
As they say a spade is a spade no matter how you attempt to define it.
Yes, a spade is a spade.  My original post does come across as somewhat whiney and bitchy, and I think I already apologized for that.  But once again, I'm sorry if I was offensive.

sweetsub  (but evidently not always sweet)

angel




sweetsub1957 -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 9:27:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

 So what do the rest of ya'all have to say about this?


posts that gripe about griping are pretty ironic.


lmao  You are so right!!  Touche!!



Arillis -> RE: s-types with nasty attitudes..... (8/19/2009 12:59:41 PM)

I’ve read this post and quite frankly don’t have a clue of what a nasty attitude is. Its seem to me a few social retards are arguing back and forth with a few morons. .



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