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RE: Time Wasters - 8/19/2009 6:09:21 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I can see if my cmails get read or not,  How can you tell if they've been deleted?

I don't think you can.  He must be magic.  lol

There is a box indicating if your message has been read; in that same box it will tell you 'message deleted unread' .

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Time Wasters - 8/19/2009 6:24:53 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		So, when you ask a friend or family member if they’d like to go out for a drink or dinner with you, do you expect a guarantee that they will agree to it before you ask them? 
You can learn from a non-response; an intelligent, insightful person will perhaps learn something about themselves, for example, they would do well to re-think who and how they approach an opportunity.  The less astute will generally have wasted their time because they blame the other person rather than gaining insight or wisdom. 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to dapony16)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Time Wasters - 8/19/2009 7:27:23 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dapony16

Pitiful, just plain pitiful.

T



No.

Pitiful would be two mysterious and menacing Dominants dressed in matching jean ensembles grabbing
me off the street and as the menacing one holds me down, the mysterious one does my hair.

chia* (the pet)


_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to dapony16)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Time Wasters - 8/20/2009 12:44:26 PM   
TimrehIX


Posts: 75
Joined: 6/29/2009
Status: offline 		I have got to say, it might be your profile. You have some nice pictures but, you don’t list any BDSM interests and the font you chose for you profile text is hard to read. You might want to remove most of your current list of interests, keeping just the ones you feel strongly about, and add some BDSM interests. Also specifying a gender preference might help generating unsolicited interest from subs.

Your profile looks suspicious, font is weird, you don’t mention or list any BDSM related interests in your profile, your profile text is very impersonal, and your main photo is posed while your second is low quality without a face. I am not saying you are anything more or less than what you present yourself as, only that your profile has a number of subtle red flags.

(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Time Wasters - 8/20/2009 3:45:49 PM   
SireKane


Posts: 105
Joined: 1/22/2004
Status: offline 		Sounds like you are new here. This online shit is the perfect haven for time wasters, and there is not much you can do about it. I'll give you a heads up based on my personal experiences. A significant number of female profiles are really guys. Another portion of female profiles are posted by women for purely entertainment purposes, they enjoy the attention, but they have no intention on ever meeting you.  Lastly there are those females who are truly looking for someone here, your email in somewhere amongst the pile of emails they get daily.  Don't use this as your primary source of meeting submissive women. Try this, discretely place a copy of  the collarme.com logo on a t-shirt or dress shirt, make sure that the print is not too large. I don't use the collarme.com logo I have a Society of Monarch ring (see societyofmonarchs.com). Find a local bar , people who want to meet other people make themselves available to meet.  Wear your collarme.com shirt, and drink up. Be yourself, start chatting up with women, during the course of your night women are going to ask you what is collarme.com?  When you answer them one of  two things are going to happen, she's going bail out of the conversation, or she's going to have questions that lead to a conversation. Many of those conversations will lead to play sessions. Whether it's  the collarme.com logo or my Society of  Monarchs ring, it's a conversation starter. Yesterday I went to the dentist for a check up. I was informed that my regular dentist had joined a new dental group, I was dissappointed,  he had been to my bdsm club a few times and I wanted to talk to him. My disappointemtent faded quickly when my new dentist entered the room, she was quite attractive. During the course of small talk she asked me about my ring, I explained the purpose of the ring. Throughout my check up , as she poked, picked,and grinded my teeth and gums she asked me questions about bdsm. The point being that there are more people interested in bdsm than have been exposed to it. Collarme should be a tool  among the many you carry on your tool belt. I meet tons more submissive females at bars, nightclubs, socials, munches...ect than I meet online.


(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Time Wasters - 8/20/2009 5:15:27 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SireKane

I have a Society of Monarch ring (see societyofmonarchs.com).


Well!  Knock me over with a feather and call me Pocahotas!  There IS a decoder ring! 

I thought that you all had been pulling my leg!

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to SireKane)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Time Wasters - 8/20/2009 5:38:31 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Well!  Knock me over with a feather and call me Pocahotas!  There IS a decoder ring!

We tried to tell you, Aylee....
*waves hello to Kane*


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Time Wasters - 8/20/2009 6:22:53 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		I figured that you all knew that I was in Kansas and trying to see just what all I would believe.

I am going to have to get me one of those snazzy decoder rings!

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Time Wasters - 8/20/2009 7:40:11 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		~FR~

Ya know....somehow "Time Wasters" seems a great title for some sort of off-beat sci-fi movie...

(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Time Wasters - 8/21/2009 2:45:51 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		OP- Hopefully, your latest journal entry means that you will no longer send snotty follow-ups when your cmails aren't answered right away. Bit of a turn off, that. 

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Time Wasters - 8/22/2009 6:30:48 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm still trying to figure out why the op sent me a couple of come on emails when I just about bitch slapped him in my earlier post. Or does he subscribe to the theory that it doesn't matter what they say about you as long as they know your name?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Time Wasters - 8/23/2009 11:47:35 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		how many times does this get argued? i agree, if you are on here and trying to make contact. i would think one would be able to expect a certain type of behavior out of a grown adult who claims to have knowledge of this lifestyle. example, when i look at a profile of a self proclaimed sub/slave, and they seem to be looking for the exact situation i have here with my home and business etc. and the mail gets ignored. i would expect at least a reply of some sort of lame excuse or reason one could not relocate even though their profile clearly states they are able.

in short, i would expect behavior that would lead me to believe that this person is actually the sub/slave person claims to be. am i expecting to collar this person on first contact. hell no.

but , people lie, people flake out, they use terms lightly and incorrect, they fantasize, look at pics, wonder how life could be.... but few carry through

(in reply to dapony16)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Time Wasters - 8/24/2009 3:28:49 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dapony16

I have thought about this for some time, and it occurs to me, I owe my brethren out here the following thoughts.  When a sub approaches you, and you reply, only to have them delete that response, unread; I would have liked to know, in advance, that ANY conversation with them would be a waste of my time. 

To that end, I submit to you that we should let each other know when we have such a time waster on here.  What say you my fellow Doms and Dommes?

T



I will give the OP the benefit of doubt the he did indeed read the individual’s compete profile before sending off his emails. hopefully he did not miss comments like

I am here just for friends
I am here just for the forums
I am here for just women
I am involved
I must have permission to speak with a Dom
I am not allowed to speak to Doms
I do not involve myself with XX age
I am here for experienced people


Now usually a sub will check out a profile before she even opens an email and answers. Does the OP know if he as has been viewed by those who have deleted him, if so, chances are the problem is the profile. If not, just sounds like a run of bad luck.


_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to dapony16)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Time Wasters - 8/24/2009 3:37:50 PM   
TearsofLove92


Posts: 37
Joined: 8/6/2009
Status: offline 		Good topic, but not the best way to present it, in my view.

How I handle time wasters is very simple. At the start of any conversation with a new person, I inform them that there will be trials to determine if they are real or not. (Both in real life, and online.) If they call, they exist, if they show up, they're real, if they keep coming back, I like them, and on and on and on.

How many "good" people do I throw away doing this? Probably many, but how many doors do I open to find something better than "good", a whole lot more.

(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Time Wasters - 8/24/2009 4:00:41 PM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dapony16

What say you my fellow Doms and Dommes?



<types>

<deletes>

<types>

<deletes>

<types>

<deletes>

Actually, there's not a lot I can put together as a reply that doesn't have me getting banned by a moderator.

This is going to be like explaining nuclear fusion to an amoeba, but I'll give it a go:

Even possession of a minimum number of braincells would easily direct one to the conclusion that there could be any number of reasons why a sub might not reply, and the key factor is they don't NEED to give a reason. It's their life, and their choice, same as it's mine, and same as (god help us) it's yours.

So there are “timewasters”. So what? Who says they’re all wasting everyone’s time?

It might be they saw your profile and mailed you, then later took a look at the sort of stuff you post and thought “no, I’d rather not actually, I have standards, wherein I require my dom to have an intellect beyond that required to power a sea cucumber” and thus declined to interact any further.

It might be they changed their mind.

It might be they got a better offer.

In short, it’s their call, and stamping your ickle foot and making life more difficult for those subs new to the site by organising a witch hunt, on the basis of parameters you define, is just going to make life more difficult for those of us who don’t have the kind of juvenile, burger-flipper mentality that absolutely requires someone reply to them.

No-one is keeping you here at gun-point. If you don’t like it, and find it all too, too difficult, then feel free to log out and <deleted due to potential moderator ire>.

(in reply to dapony16)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Time Wasters - 8/25/2009 10:09:46 AM   
sublace


Posts: 201
Status: offline 		my 'profile can't be found' as not to waste any one's time. When i am free to connect, i will.

(in reply to masterlink65)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Time Wasters - 8/25/2009 10:12:26 AM   
Nycteris


Posts: 22
Joined: 11/9/2008
Status: offline 		I had a "pro" domme cancel on me one day.  I gave her the benefit of the doubt and then she cancelled a second time just three hours before our scheduled meeting.  Total time waster.

She's now gone "poof", but I'm sure she'll be back.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Time Wasters - 8/25/2009 10:47:21 AM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		A time waster to one may not be a time waster to another .... possibly. I can list some pretty odd responses about why x person did not show (on line or in real life) that could also be plausibly true (not that I fully believed them).

For me, in the greater picture of things, a time waster is one who just does not want to be serious about the reality of being A SLAVE. These persons may infer or out right say to Me:

• you live in a place that to "too cold"
• Master ought not be disabled (the perfect syndrome)
• i want a TPE but i want x, y, and z out of You.

(and then after they receive my conventions)
• You can't possibly be into all these things ...
• you never said anything about x! [Thought back *No I did not but I expect my slaves to know how to read!*]

(and then those who show up 2 months later)
• Could we talk? [as in I am apt to forget our conversation. They wander off when they realize I really do have a pretty decent recall of conversations]

I have to wonder what compels some of these people to think they are slaves to begin with. I even had a slave ask to see my conventions and then declare them to long for them to read (3 pages is not that long of a document; and four pages probably reaches a unspoken boundary of limit). What is this the "Ask and Then Ignore Show".

OK that is my rant for the day .....

MstrPBK
St. Pual, MN USA

(in reply to dapony16)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Time Wasters - 8/25/2009 9:35:49 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		~~~*FAST REPLY*~~~
Using some of the ‘logic’ presented by a few people on this thread, the fact that I have a profile on this site makes me not just “a” time waster, but a monumental waste of their time!
Is it really such a big surprise that there is no guarantee every profile you read may not be a perfect match?  Is it that difficult to understand *your* definition of slave/master/dominant/submissive/bottom/top will not mesh with everyone else’s?  Is it really a shocking idea that another person might be busy or not in the mood to answer or ~~gasp~~ not be interested enough by your contact to respond? 
Who chooses to be on this site?  YOU do! 
Who chooses to get on line to read profiles?  YOU do!  
Who chooses to write an email and send it?  YOU do! 
Who is wasting YOUR time?  YOU are! 


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to MstrPBK)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Time Wasters - 8/26/2009 4:58:50 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrPBK

I have to wonder what compels some of these people to think they are slaves to begin with. I even had a slave ask to see my conventions and then declare them to long for them to read (3 pages is not that long of a document; and four pages probably reaches a unspoken boundary of limit). What is this the "Ask and Then Ignore Show".


i have often wondered why people assume that slavery implies the relinquishment of that persons preferences, desires, etc. while i don't know the particulars of your situations. i can't fathom why you'd want a slave that would have an issue with your disability, might be averse to cold, didn't want a highly structured relationship, and so on.

it would seem that these people aren't actually time wasters but allowing you to see that it is probable that you're not compatible sooner than later. the definition of what a slave is and is not is highly debated and very subjective. you define what slavery means to y.o.u., but that doesn't mean your definition is any better nor more accurate than mine.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to MstrPBK)
Profile   Post #: 60
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