Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Real dom?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Real dom? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Real dom? - 8/19/2009 11:01:04 PM   
curiousNtexas


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/30/2009
Status: offline 		How does one recognize a real dom, from someone who is just filling a role from time to time? Does being less strict make them less of dom? Does being unable/unwilling to punish deny him is title as Master? What is a Dom, and makes them such?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Real dom? - 8/19/2009 11:18:36 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiousNtexas

How does one recognize a real dom, from someone who is just filling a role from time to time? Does being less strict make them less of dom? Does being unable/unwilling to punish deny him is title as Master? What is a Dom, and makes them such?



I am sorry to break this to you, but there is no such thing. A dominant is just as real if they indulge their nature from time to time as those who do it most of the time.

Many dominants do not have punishment dynamics, indeed some of the people I most respect on this forum have relationships of that kind.

A dominant is someone who leads, in the context that you are using it, someone who leads a relationship of some description. Though of course they do not have to be in one to still maintain the title dominant. It isn't all that simple.

What you are really asking is what makes a dominant and s-type compatible. Well that is far too complicated to pinpoint. Work out what it is that you want from power exchange and go from there. Talking about real or true won't do you any favours, because all that matters is what is real and true to you.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to curiousNtexas)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Real dom? - 8/19/2009 11:36:02 PM   
seababy


Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiousNtexas

How does one recognize a real dom, from someone who is just filling a role from time to time?



1. Slip a pea under his mattress.

(in reply to curiousNtexas)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Real dom? - 8/19/2009 11:38:48 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*snort*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to seababy)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Real dom? - 8/19/2009 11:41:58 PM   
Muirren


Posts: 79
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 12:14:55 AM   
Marcus440


Posts: 30
Joined: 11/13/2004
Status: offline 		Reply to LillyoftheVally:  well said!  Wow, is that how we spell "said"?  Anyway, I like what you wrote. 

I once had a sub who just wanted someone who was brutal and more or less ugly (in my opinion) to nail him to the sheets.  That was his idea of a Dom.  (Question aside, why is dom so often spelled with a small d ?) 

I consider myself to be a Dom, but since I am old and non-violent, no one is impressed by that.  If I was 18 and willing to kick the crap out of someone, I belive there would be a long line of people waiting at My front door. 

That is clearly an area of this fetish; and even though I have done it, only for the money, and I understand it, I do not like it. 

Signed,
MasterMark 

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 12:50:58 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

(Question aside, why is dom so often spelled with a small d ?)


because it's pretentious unless it happens to be the given name (or diminutive of said given name) of the dominant?


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Marcus440)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 3:31:11 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		You recognize them because they are compatible with you...that's it. No magic insight here.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 3:54:33 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		He will have a tattoo on the back of his neck with his dom number. You can check the number online at realdoms4u.org

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to curiousNtexas)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 3:55:31 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiousNtexas

How does one recognize a real dom, from someone who is just filling a role from time to time? Does being less strict make them less of dom? Does being unable/unwilling to punish deny him is title as Master? What is a Dom, and makes them such?

It's not really any different to vanilla dating....

You get a (reciprocal) sense of compatability with you and your needs - or you don't. There's no such thing as "less" (or "real"); merely what's relative and compatible with *you*.

A Dom/me is one who takes the lead role in their relationships and generally relate best to submissives because they'd rather defer to the other's will.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to curiousNtexas)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 4:08:58 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		A Dominant is a leader, a decision maker. It is in the eye of the beholder if they view that person as "true" or not. There is no rule book which strictly defines a Dominant, so as a submissive you will have to decide for yourself if that person inspires your submission.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to curiousNtexas)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 5:31:16 AM   
NYLass


Posts: 409
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline 		They first have to take their twue dom permit test.  It's a written exam based on the book : "Dominance for Dumbinants"-By Lordmastersircrankypants.
They then have to attend the secret European Houses for 6 months.  They take the skills test.  They pass if they can swing a single tail (Florentine style) without putting an eye out (their own,  as"submittive" eyeballs are expendable, they don't need eyes, anyway.  A twue submittive only sees what she is told to see.)  Lastly, they have to perfect the domly scowl/sneer.  Then they get their "dominate license".  Just ask to see it.

Now I'm removing my tongue from my cheek to have a cuppa

(We really need a loldom & lolsub website.)




_____________________________

I need a pithy saying here.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 5:51:39 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*lmao at Lass*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to NYLass)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 7:19:47 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiousNtexas

How does one recognize a real dom, from someone who is just filling a role from time to time? Does being less strict make them less of dom? Does being unable/unwilling to punish deny him is title as Master? What is a Dom, and makes them such?


If you need to ask this then I am deeply saddened for you. However please allow me to pursue this matter by asking if you are a "real sub/slave"?

Ahh well no matter. You really can't mistake a Dominant person of any gender or type of kink including those Dominants who are not the least bit kinky. They come in all shapes and sized, ages, colours and with or without dress sense. Some are strict and some are not but... All of them are true to themselves and will have a good well defined decision making ability even if it is not used often. Some are nasty, terse, even ariogant bastards whop probably need a size 12 steel toed boot up the coit and others are quite lovable and worthy of respect. Some are quite shy and retiring but most to some degree have charisma.

Just my take on this and others may agree or disagree which is their right.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to curiousNtexas)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 7:34:31 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		They come with a tag that says "Inspected by No. 31".

Seriously, what's real for me may not be for you and vice versa. I know people where I think the "D" type is a joke, but you know what? He and his "s" type are ridiculously happy and that's all that matters. I'm sure someone out there thinks that same thing about Master and I.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 7:58:35 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiousNtexas

How does one recognize a real dom, from someone who is just filling a role from time to time? Does being less strict make them less of dom? Does being unable/unwilling to punish deny him is title as Master? What is a Dom, and makes them such?


Look for someone who wears his power lightly--but most certainly has it over you, and doesn't bounce around with your moods.

But the mattress pea and the inspector tag posts are good tips too.

Try to walk him past a mirror or take a walk in the sunlight. Real doms cast neither reflections nor shadows.



< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 8/20/2009 8:00:31 AM >

(in reply to curiousNtexas)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 8:07:02 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		look for the "real dom" label

(kinda like the real dairy" label, except the real dom label will be black, blue, and white, with a heart superimposed on it)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 8:54:00 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiousNtexas

How does one recognize a real dom, from someone who is just filling a role from time to time? Does being less strict make them less of dom? Does being unable/unwilling to punish deny him is title as Master? What is a Dom, and makes them such?


they don't have reflections


_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to curiousNtexas)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 8:54:53 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		Isn't there a blood test?

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Real dom? - 8/20/2009 8:59:16 AM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		1. Move your head from side to side while staring intently at Him; if there is a shimmer, or if you can see occasional flashes of the background through Him, He is not a real Dom, but in fact a hologram.

2. Ask Him a series of questions- if He repeats an answer, there is either a glitch in the Matrix, or He is not real.

Do not be fooled!

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Real dom? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094