RE: not another tribute thread

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BoiJen -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/24/2009 10:03:29 AM)
oh don't mind me I'm just picking up the topic boi

PeonForHer -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/24/2009 10:13:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I'll throw this in for good measure. The word demand falls into the category, too. For example, if I say something to the effect of I would like lilacs in the house the next time that I visit, that can also be seen as a demand and a tribute. It's a rather simple command. No better or worse than any other kind of command I would give. That's a very intriguing point, LP. However, since a) I have a life but b) that life won't last forever, I'm not going to consider it.

Arillis -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 4:44:03 AM)
As others attempt to rob you using the words demand and tribute you must not lose sight of the fact there those with little more finesse that may word it differently. Regardless, it remains you decision as to if…or how much you will allow them to steal from you. Making the assumption dominance somehow authorizes the dominator to imposing demands that violate core values is the measure of a fool. However, there is no shortage of fools in either of the dominant or submissive categories so misery and shortsightedness are indeed quite common especially in the 40 to 60 year-old bracket of female dominants.

happylittlepet -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 5:51:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen (A secondary problem to this little bit is: these Women are not the initiating contact, the guys are, and they're derogatory and mean and insulting in nature. How they act in their initial contact toward a ProDomme is how they're going to treat any Woman who asserts Herself. The Pro is just the easier target.) In essence, the ProDomme is not allowed to say no to business. If she does, she will be called names. Goes off to look for posts on Doms/tribute. Very curious to read up on that.

MsStarlett -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 6:11:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: happylittlepet Goes off to look for posts on Doms/tribute. Very curious to read up on that. What a very good boy you are!

happylittlepet -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 7:20:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsStarlett quote: ORIGINAL: happylittlepet Goes off to look for posts on Doms/tribute. Very curious to read up on that. What a very good boy you are! Thank you, very much female sub, male oriented, here though [;)] Hence my interest in the other side of the gender divide. Actually found a long thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_597491/mpage_1/tm.htm Edit : Contains some very blunt statements. And a question: how does tribute work between a ProDomme and a female sub? Or does that not happen?

BoiJen -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 7:23:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: happylittlepet In essence, the ProDomme is not allowed to say no to business. If she does, she will be called names. Goes off to look for posts on Doms/tribute. Very curious to read up on that. Correct....well any Domme really isn't "allowed" to say "no", the Pros are just easier targets because people like to use words like "whore" in reference to them because of the monetary tribute exchange (which most guys are trying to get out of anyways). I imagine, that if you look at most Domme/tribute threads and remove the D/s verbage around all that, you'll find that it's kinda sickening how most of these men talk about women. Edited to add: Yes tribute works between MsKitty and myself any and almost every chance She can get. I think it's hot. She does too. I used to be paid in cash for running a fetish shop. I would come home every week with a wad of bills in my pocket. Ma'am would stop me right at the door and frisk me. She'd tell me what shoes She was going to buy and when She was getting Her hair done as She'd like. I would often be left with a small allowance. Now, in the responsible manner, more than 80% of my pay check would end up in the bank to pay bills. But I was never told about that...just the stuff She wanted done. Also, before I met the Ma'am I had been considering interviewing local ProDommes because I needed some play time and wasn't seriously looking for a relationship. As it turns out I did meet a Pro and got into a relationship with Her. Funny that. boi

NoreenSwan -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 7:51:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama I've come to the conclusion that all Money Threads are just another flavor of my culture's favorite sport, which is woman-bashing. My reasoning as follows: Stereotypically, this culture allows women to exercise only sexual power, and then only for a brief duration of time (usually from ages 15-35). All other modes of power, especially financial, are reserved for men. Women who try to parlay the one form of power they are socially permitted, their sexuality, into any other kind of power (especially financial) typically become the victims of verbal, physical and structural violence in this society. These threads are just another version of the same poison that leaves so many prostitutes dead in dumpsters. I just love what she said and bumped it up here for the simple fact that this goes good.

happylittlepet -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 10:09:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen Correct....well any Domme really isn't "allowed" to say "no", the Pros are just easier targets because people like to use words like "whore" in reference to them because of the monetary tribute exchange (which most guys are trying to get out of anyways). A. Not allowing someone to say no is disrespectful, and that someone is going to be taken advantage of when the disrespect is not addressed. B. If any Domme is not allowed to say no, who is in control? I imagine, that if you look at most Domme/tribute threads and remove the D/s verbage around all that, you'll find that it's kinda sickening how most of these men talk about women. My problem is, these are supposedly sub males. And let's be honest, a lot of females, whatever label they describe themselves with are not doing a lot better, and neither are male dominants. Edited to add: Yes tribute works between MsKitty and myself any and almost every chance She can get. I think it's hot. She does too. I used to be paid in cash for running a fetish shop. I would come home every week with a wad of bills in my pocket. Ma'am would stop me right at the door and frisk me. She'd tell me what shoes She was going to buy and when She was getting Her hair done as She'd like. I would often be left with a small allowance. Now, in the responsible manner, more than 80% of my pay check would end up in the bank to pay bills. But I was never told about that...just the stuff She wanted done. And this is a healthy situation for you, because your Mistress is trustworthy, and it's a tested and established relationship. You have nothing to fear. My thoughts go to those who are trying to get to that stage where trusting the other is justified. And even then, things can come to an end. Or, the financial situation of one of the partners can change dramatically. I am curious to know if that dramatic change has an impact on the dynamic, regardless of which genders/roles are involved. My question really is, in a not-ProDomme situation, is the 'tribute' given for the 'attention/services' received better described as 'investing in the relationship'? And if that does not come from the heart of either partner, the intent to make that relationship grow, regardless on which side of the kneel, is it not so that that relationship is drifting towards deserving the 'Pro-Domme/paying sub'-label? Also, before I met the Ma'am I had been considering interviewing local ProDommes because I needed some play time and wasn't seriously looking for a relationship. As it turns out I did meet a Pro and got into a relationship with Her. Funny that. This possibility came actually to my mind when I was reading this: http://www.collarchat.com/m_2155287/mpage_1/tm.htm (some insight into tributes in the male Dom/female sub dynamic on pages 5/7. I take it your Mistress stopped being your ProDomme? Yet you still give her the best you have, as does she to you. Thank you for responding. There seems to be a big difference between what is considered 'tribute' in the Domme/male sub and in the Dom/female sub dynamic. What I am trying to figure out is, are Dommes and female subs not really all that different in their expectations? And can Doms and male subs also be compared? Please note, I mean no disrespect to anyone. From the above quoted link I get the impression that there are very few ProDoms, and that Doms look for different kinds of 'tribute' than ProDommes. One of the most important tributes to receive for Doms is sex. It seems male subs want the same, but because of the dynamic, the sex provided by ProDommes is not seen as 'tribute', nor do the ProDommes/Dommes see 'sex' as tribute received from the male sub. Neither do I as female sub see sex as the most important thing a male partner can provide. Again, I mean no disrespect. And I am aware that generalizations by no means fit all. This is just a starting point for me to gain more insight. I think I have to make a thread in the 'Ask a Dom' forums with regard to the above. What happens, e.g. when the male Dominant loses his income, and now the couple depends on the income of the female sub, while she also gives as 'tribute' her service and her submission in the bedroom. Would that not make the whole dynamic unbalanced? What happens with the arrangement being consensual when circumstances leave one no choice? Is it possible to move from 'consensual' to 'being taken advantage of'? Would a Master and his slave have to renegotiate? Just curious.

happylittlepet -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 10:17:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NoreenSwan quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama I've come to the conclusion that all Money Threads are just another flavor of my culture's favorite sport, which is woman-bashing. My reasoning as follows: Stereotypically, this culture allows women to exercise only sexual power, and then only for a brief duration of time (usually from ages 15-35). All other modes of power, especially financial, are reserved for men. Women who try to parlay the one form of power they are socially permitted, their sexuality, into any other kind of power (especially financial) typically become the victims of verbal, physical and structural violence in this society. These threads are just another version of the same poison that leaves so many prostitutes dead in dumpsters. I just love what she said and bumped it up here for the simple fact that this goes good. I do not agree with what I have highlighted in red. And with regard to the blue text: that puts all women down. Stereotype much? A woman is powerful because she makes the choice to be so. That a lot of men do not know how to respond to an assertive woman is another story. The sad part is that to university students taking a psychology course on Intimate Relationships has to be pointed out that an assertive woman in almost any relationship with men (be it personal or professional, to the executive level) is better understood when she choses to come across as a little helpless. Edit : What do you mean with what I have made green?

ShaktiSama -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 11:00:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: happylittlepet I do not agree with what I have highlighted in red. Too bad. I'll stand by it. There's too much irrational and needless bile in these threads to say they're just about a rare kink. quote: And with regard to the blue text: that puts all women down. Stereotype much? My statement was not a criticism of women generally nor of powerful women. It was a critique of this society and its male-dominated sexist culture, which manifests in various ugly ways--not least in the gender conflicts on these forums. I would ask in return whether you "Read the English language much?", but having looked at your profile and posting history, I can see that the answer is "No." As you have requested in another thread that native speakers be tolerant of misunderstandings, I will drop this response here and bid you good posting. [;)]

happylittlepet -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 12:06:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama quote: ORIGINAL: happylittlepet I do not agree with what I have highlighted in red. Too bad. I'll stand by it. There's too much irrational and needless bile in these threads to say they're just about a rare kink. Sure, as I stand by my words. I think I have asked some valid questions. No bile in my posts. Maybe we can talk about the content of my posts, and not of those of others. quote: And with regard to the blue text: that puts all women down. Stereotype much? My statement was not a criticism of women generally nor of powerful women. It was a critique of this society and its male-dominated sexist culture, which manifests in various ugly ways--not least in the gender conflicts on these forums. If it's male-dominated, someone (women?) allowed that. All I am going to say about this. I would ask in return whether you "Read the English language much?", but having looked at your profile and posting history, I can see that the answer is "No." As you have requested in another thread that native speakers be tolerant of misunderstandings, I will drop this response here and bid you good posting. [;)] Is my English a problem? My professors sure don't think so, nor do my friends. I think I have read a lot more in the English language than a lot of other people whose first language it is. I also have written a lot more English than a lot of others. I am fully aware though that my first language interferes, but that can't be helped. That I do as well as I do is to many English speakers a mystery. Unless of course, you are right, and the people who know me are wrong. If it is your intent to insult me by writing those last sentences exactly how you did, thank you for making me laugh. If you meant well, you would have not felt the need to include a word of it. That makes your whole post weaker. Yes, I do call what you write stereotypes, because you make huge generalizations. The way you try to get back at me is by making it personal. Enjoy your day [:)]

ShaktiSama -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 12:33:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: happylittlepet If it's male-dominated, someone (women?) allowed that. All I am going to say about this. Perhaps that's because it's all you know about this. The history of patriarchal cultures is a little more complex, but since you seem to have started down the paths of the social sciences on your own, I think you'll just figure it out on your own in a few years. Again, not a lot of point in continuing the exchange. quote: Is my English a problem? In this case? Yes it is. You are unable to parse the sentences I've written, and you are projecting the opposite of what was said and intended. If one of your professors is a native speaker, feel free to cut and paste the words and see if they can explain what I was saying. It might be easier to understand or accept coming from someone who can speak to you face to face. As it stands, I'm aware from your previous posts that you are a deeply wounded human being, and I'm not interested in fencing with your brittle ego defenses.

MsStarlett -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/25/2009 4:02:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: happylittlepet Thank you, very much female sub, male oriented, here though [;)] OOops! My bad. I should have known that no male was smart enough to look things up. [8\|]

QueenAlaleh -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/28/2009 8:45:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StellaSupreme Sorry if I'm dragging this out, I've just seen a lot of threads here address this, and I get TONS of angry emails about it. Dudes calling me a gold digger, whore, fancy prostitute, etc. I don't solicit or seek out slaves on Collarme, I only respond to inquiries. I've tried making my profile as non bait-n-switchy as possible. I get very few angry emails. Upon viewing your profile, I didn't see any particular reason why it would attract so much anger. Does most of your angry mail come from sources local to you?

pyroaquatic -> RE: not another tribute thread (8/28/2009 9:01:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen Ma'am would stop me right at the door and frisk me. She'd tell me what shoes She was going to buy and when She was getting Her hair done as She'd like. I would often be left with a small allowance. Now, in the responsible manner, more than 80% of my pay check would end up in the bank to pay bills. But I was never told about that...just the stuff She wanted done. boi I could live with a small allowance.... she looks hot, we are responsible, and I still get some pennies!? Yay! I just do not like the concept of "I take everything, it is a possibility that I will give you attention. Now go do my dishes, bitch." If I am giving someone money, I better be freaking special to that person. If you are the center of my universe don't I deserve some shine for what I am doing for you?

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