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RE: Is It Normal - 8/24/2009 9:17:07 AM

SweetNika

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From: Forest Hills, Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MMagic

Is it normal to get a "excited" when you're being reprimanded? Don't get me wrong, I felt horrible for not doing as I was told to do, but I swear...his voice...This happen to other subs? You're trying to appear all somber because you're being reprimanded but you're thinking man I wanna....;)

Let me start by stating I HATE the term normal because it implies that something is or could be abnormal. What is important IMO is that this is a normal reaction for you.

I am drawn to strong men, who will punish me if needed but that punishment or the act of them punishing me does not excite me. Infact I would say it does the complete opposite for me.

Edited to add: For me personally if i found myself aroused by a punishment then I would be very concerned that I was acting in away to be punished on purpose and the punishments would defeat the purpose in my eyes.

< Message edited by SweetNika -- 8/24/2009 9:22:08 AM >

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Nika

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RE: Is It Normal - 8/24/2009 10:08:44 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MMagic

Is it normal to get a "excited" when you're being reprimanded? Don't get me wrong, I felt horrible for not doing as I was told to do, but I swear...his voice...This happen to other subs? You're trying to appear all somber because you're being reprimanded but you're thinking man I wanna....;)

No, because the reprimand is a reminder of his displeasure and I can't fathom how that would be enjoyable for me if my goal is to be obedient and compliant. There's also the fact that he would have his own feelings over the infraction and I doubt if correcting me is exciting for him either.

porcelaine

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RE: Is It Normal - 8/24/2009 12:35:05 PM

junecleaver

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It really depends on the relationship. In my current relationship, I get no pleasure in it whatsoever outside of 'funishment.' It really has nothing to do with his displeasure. I'm not a people pleaser at all, just owned. While making him happy is fun, I don't live and breathe by it. He just makes that kind of thing an extremely unpleasant experience for ME.

In previous relationships, depending on the offense and the gravity of the offense, I might have derived some pleasure. But it was probably because I did not take the D-type as seriously as I thought or professed to.

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RE: Is It Normal - 8/24/2009 4:09:13 PM

DesFIP

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Have been thinking this over. I believe that the reason you get a little frisson of sexual energy from a reprimand is simply because it demonstrates that he cares enough to pay attention to you. And if you've come out of a family situation or a prior relationship where people just didn't pay attention, didn't notice what you did, then having someone pay that much attention is a rush.

Once you are accustomed to not being ignored, and have these needs met in everyday situations then you focus more fully on the chastizement instead.

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RE: Is It Normal - 9/6/2009 8:45:05 PM

FireandIceCpl

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As being a submissive you feel bad that you have done wrong. It is also in your blood to like the punishment on the side whatever it may be. You and your Master lay out ground rules for what you both like and dislike. Of course some of the punishments will make you excited. Which makes you worse about yourself for letting them down and yourself down. I think it is actually a great tool for a Master to use with there submissive. Then you might think, is it really a punishment if I get excited the answer is not as black and white as one may think. The excitment of being punished might lead you to disobey more but then being punished more also makes you get other things less. In your own mind break you down even more to your Master.

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RE: Is It Normal - 9/9/2009 10:50:12 PM

mixielicous

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From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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I dont get physically punished. I get disappointment verbally revealed to me. It is discussed, if I am at fault, an apology is asked for, and issued, not forgetting to reiterate what I am apologizing for. Not so exciting. I usually feel extremely embarrassed, I feel like I let him down, I become sad and there is nothing in his voice that makes me gooey since he is discussing my err.

If there is pain involved, the only thing I am being reprimanded for is being a whore for his dick. Quite exciting. And thats when I hear *the voice*.

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RE: Is It Normal - 9/10/2009 2:06:16 AM

slaveToKnight

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MMagic

First let me say Sir I know you're reading and you're gonna cut me :D and second no one panic it's only verbal cutting.

Anyway...so I got into trouble last night for of course not doing what I was told (not on purpose so no, you're a bad girl replies..I am a bad girl but this time it was unintended). So my is it normal question (and I think this should be a running thread for new subs here) is:

Is it normal to get a "excited" when you're being reprimanded? Don't get me wrong, I felt horrible for not doing as I was told to do, but I swear...his voice...This happen to other subs? You're trying to appear all somber because you're being reprimanded but you're thinking man I wanna....;)

I feel very low and disappointed in myself. I get angry at myself and annoyed. I can see the disappointment in his eyes too and that makes it worse. As somebody else said I am probably harder on myself than he is. I want so badly to obey and please that to cause him displeasure is awful to me.

There is no physical punishment like whipping, no I do not get excited only determined not to make that mistake again.

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RE: Is It Normal - 9/10/2009 3:05:46 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

In the beginning, yes. These days I just get sad and be quiet.

quote:

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I can go along with this.
To begin with its that reminder of who is in charge and I think to begin with the re-iteration of control is exciting and a relief to the sub that this is real.
After a time you no longer need reminders that your partner does indeed have control because by then its already set firmly in stone.

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RE: Is It Normal - 9/10/2009 11:07:17 AM

shadowowl

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I had an ex tell me I started fights just to get yelled at. She was pretty smart cause I had to admit I did although it was subcontiously for the most part. When she was mad at me she would show me attention even if it was very negitive. so if i got ignored to long I would find something for us to fight about. Of course knowing I did that helped to remedy the situation some what. Now if I am getting reprimanded or yelled out I am trying to think and figure out why I did something and try to express my needs more before it comes to that sort of situation. so if it does then these days I feel more like I didn't do enough to prevent it :( definilty early on though in previous relationships i did get excited as it was validation that I was loved and in a rather unhealthy way which now makes me a little depressed when I think back.

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RE: Is It Normal - 9/10/2009 2:40:41 PM

littleone35

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There is nothing exciting about being punished. If i did wrong i know he wold punish me brecause i earned the punishment. Foe me it usually entails som pain and i hate pain so i dread it more then get excited about it. I know i displeased him by disobeying and that hurts me. I alway love it when he calls me MY good girl whan i do bad i am not his good girl at the moment. So no no excitment here.

As to normal what is normal? What people percive as normal. Who cares what thaty thikn they also think BDSMers are strange.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Is It Normal - 9/10/2009 2:52:26 PM

GabrielleSlave

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From: in servitude
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The mental pain of knowing i have disappointed Him is worse than anything He could do to me physically. He actually withdrew physical punishments a long time ago as i associated them with playtime and so He deemed them inappropriate. When He still used this method however, i hated every moment of it; the physical pain caused by knowing it was because i had displeased Him was unbearable. Wwe talk about things now, but He knows how hard i am on myself, so rarely needs to do anything extra. The best way to punish me now would be to just ignore me; that would be mental anguish, torture for me. i have to say that i do try my utmost not to break rules and to be the best slave i can be so that the need for punishment is rare...

gabrielle x

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