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Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/22/2009 6:57:00 PM   
islandgyrl


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/8/2008
Status: offline 		My sub presented me with a chastity device. I haven't locked him into it yet. When I mention it he says what if I have a medical emergency?

I would like him to wear it with the lock. I understand there are plastic locks. Does that not defeat the purpose? I feel I am getting mixed messages.

Has anyone given a device to use and then changed their mind about it?
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RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/22/2009 6:59:49 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Seems to me he is being straight forward. He wants to wear it but he's scared of what happens in an emergency. The answer is that the hospital would cut it off, wouldn't be the first time they've had to deal with something like this. Alternatively he carries a key in a sealed envelope with your name signed along the flap so it would be obvious if it was opened.

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(in reply to islandgyrl)
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RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/22/2009 7:09:24 PM   
islandgyrl


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/8/2008
Status: offline 		I guess that is the problem. He works in a hospital. The key in a sealed envelope is a good idea.

Thanks,
Island

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/22/2009 7:13:33 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Hard to imagine what sort of medical emergency would require the removal of a chastity device.  Does he have 24/7 access to you? If so, then there wouldn't be much of a problem vis-a-vis removing the device before medical personnel get to him.

seems his fantasy life overcame his sense - or his nerve.

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/22/2009 7:26:37 PM   
islandgyrl


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/8/2008
Status: offline 		Kiwi,

Ha ha ha! My thoughts exactly. Well, we do not live together, usually spend weekends at my place. He does have medical issues. We have an emergency plan for him. He wants/needs to go to that particular hospital. Guess if he was unconscious his clothing may have to be removed by hospital personnel or sumptin? I figured he either chickened out or just can't stand the thought of keeping his hands off it.

I must make my final decision for the upcoming holiday weekend. I'm inclined to lock him up shortly after arrival to our destination. Then seeing how he reacts over the long weekend.

Island

(in reply to kiwisub12)
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RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/22/2009 7:36:59 PM   
Eivarden


Posts: 101
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline 		Hm, if you have cell phones, you could hide the key, or an extra in the house, and when the problem comes up, he asks where it is.

(in reply to islandgyrl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/23/2009 1:44:29 AM   
thesubmissiveboy


Posts: 40
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline 		I personally love the plastic tag locks that you can buy as you tend to need that little bit extra self control to keep it locked away. I got some with a special code on each lock, so it would be obvious if I had changed it.

(in reply to Eivarden)
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RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/23/2009 2:05:42 AM   
Chastenedslave


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/19/2009
Status: offline 		Firstly forget most of the stuff you read on the net about chastity devices/belts. All but the most expensive metal ones can be removed quit easily with anything you can find in a kitchen cupboard. I think of  most of my chastity belts as nothing more than reminders that I am forbidden to have any contact with my cock.   Only when my Mistress is away am I locked in to one that really is inescapable with out an angle grinder. The a key is left for me in a tamper proof container and the lock is sealed with wax and Mistress's seal.   I have been locked up for a long time, 9 years, but I am never without a safe means of removing any chastity device ( a key). If only because, despite the claims of the manufactures, they can rub and cause pain and if left too long infection if they rub the skin raw.   If anything happens where I can't remove the device and I need medical help then the fact that I a wearing a chastity belt is the very least of my problems.

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RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/23/2009 9:35:37 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I don't think it does.  Plastic lock is tamper evident.  If your slave cuts it, he is busted.  Even with a metal lock, a man can sometimes escape, but it is just about impossible to get back in.  So again, he's busted.

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(in reply to islandgyrl)
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RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/23/2009 11:19:11 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I can certainly understand him not wanting his coworkers to know about his kink. So if he gets positioned  badly and needs to undo it to prevent restricting circulation, he ought to have a way to open it that you will know about.

I know when I had a cat scan done, I had to remove all metal, can't remember if the tech was allowed to wear rings or not.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/23/2009 1:01:13 PM   
gentlemanprince


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline 		If any Domme presents me with a chastity device, I give her a mixed message. On the one hand I say, "No." On the other hand, I say, "No way!"

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/23/2009 1:21:00 PM   
igor2003


Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: islandgyrl

My sub presented me with a chastity device. I haven't locked him into it yet. When I mention it he says what if I have a medical emergency?

I would like him to wear it with the lock. I understand there are plastic locks. Does that not defeat the purpose? I feel I am getting mixed messages.

Has anyone given a device to use and then changed their mind about it?


My question is, "What kind of CB is it?" Is it one of the non-metalic type like a CB6000? If so, then I would have to recommend the plastic lock as well if both you and he wants it to remain undetected from the outside world. The reason being that with the plastic lock the CB can remain in place when and if he needs to go through a metal detector at a court house, federal building, airport, etc. So hospitals would not be the only concern.

I would suggest using the plastic lock and if at a later date you discover he is misusing it you can always put the metal lock on instead. Let him know that if he abuses the trust factor of a plastic lock then later he will just have to put up with the metal lock and let circumstances fall as they may at hospitals and metal detectors. His choice was in giving you the CB. It's your choice as to how it is locked. At least that is the way I see it.

(in reply to islandgyrl)
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RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/23/2009 4:51:58 PM   
PlayfulWhenUsed


Posts: 38
Joined: 8/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: islandgyrl
My sub presented me with a chastity device. I haven't locked him into it yet. When I mention it he says what if I have a medical emergency? ... I would like him to wear it with the lock. I understand there are plastic locks. Does that not defeat the purpose? I feel I am getting mixed messages...  Has anyone given a device to use and then changed their mind about it?


Plastic Locks - These HAVE to be cut off.  So yes he could release himself and then... uh... release himself.  *ahem*  But you would know because the lock would totally be cut.  And you can get NUMBERED locks! so he could not even be extra tricky and replace it. 

Medical Emergency - Key in a sealed envelope!  Use an old fashioned raised wax seal for extra cool points and gravamen.  Yes, gravamen.  Or a plastic lock which is less cool but that can be cut off in a jiffy basically anyplace where sharp things may be found.

Also I really like your idea of trying it out over a long weekend and I hope it goes really really well.

(in reply to islandgyrl)
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RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/24/2009 12:12:18 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: islandgyrl

My sub presented me with a chastity device. I haven't locked him into it yet. When I mention it he says what if I have a medical emergency?

I would like him to wear it with the lock. I understand there are plastic locks. Does that not defeat the purpose? I feel I am getting mixed messages.

Has anyone given a device to use and then changed their mind about it?


I do not like chasity devices for two reasons. One,it sends a message that the Dominant does not trust the submissive. Two, it takes away all insentive for submissive to learn self control when it comes to dealing with urges

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
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(in reply to islandgyrl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/24/2009 1:02:57 AM   
islandgyrl


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/8/2008
Status: offline 		It is the CB6000. We have discussed using the plastic locks when he is required to pass through security. Perhaps it is better to use plastic for now.

(in reply to igor2003)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/24/2009 1:17:20 AM   
islandgyrl


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/8/2008
Status: offline 		I like the idea of locking him in at a time when I can watch over him. That way I will be close to help with any issues of him getting acustomed to wearing the device.

(in reply to PlayfulWhenUsed)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/24/2009 8:36:30 AM   
Eivarden


Posts: 101
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:


I do not like chasity devices for two reasons. One,it sends a message that the Dominant does not trust the submissive. Two, it takes away all insentive for submissive to learn self control when it comes to dealing with urges

You know,
I didn't really stop to think about it before, but I actually did get that sort of feeling about chastity devices.
(Never been in one, just describing how I felt when I heard about their use.)

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/24/2009 2:47:22 PM   
Zephyr46


Posts: 37
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		To the OP, I find that I give mixed messages from time to time as well. I did this with the chastity device I had since my situation appears to have similarities of distance instead of 24/7.

The way I am when faced with a new concept/challange, is to look at all sides of the issue. I consider the possible stumbling blocks first. This is so I can devise a method that would allow it to work in my situation. Keyed metal lock? Spare key? Plastic numerical lock? Hygiene? Bodily functions? (What happens if.......)

This was also perceived at first by my Domme as being against it and this confused her since I said I wanted to wear the device for her. I just needed to figure out a workable solution for most of the possible scenarios I might find myself in.

(in reply to Eivarden)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/24/2009 4:11:22 PM   
peachgirl


Posts: 396
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Eivarden

Hm, if you have cell phones, you could hide the key, or an extra in the house, and when the problem comes up, he asks where it is.


I thought this was a great idea.


_____________________________

Have you seen that girl in the corner?
I'd like to take her out of her chains
Cause if I had my way with you baby
I would be changing your life today.
- Bob Welch

(in reply to Eivarden)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Mixed messages on Chastity - 8/24/2009 5:18:26 PM   
poeticfreak


Posts: 80
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: islandgyrl

My sub presented me with a chastity device. I haven't locked him into it yet. When I mention it he says what if I have a medical emergency?

I would like him to wear it with the lock. I understand there are plastic locks. Does that not defeat the purpose? I feel I am getting mixed messages.

Has anyone given a device to use and then changed their mind about it?


I don't get the feeling that this is a matter of changing his mind but is just him being nervous and wanting reassurance that if it does become necessary to remove it while you are not present, there can be a dialogue about what happened and why rather than it automatically being considered a breach of trust 


_____________________________

I have believed the best of every man. And find that to believe is enough to make a bad man show him at his best, or even a good man swings his lantern higher.- yeats

(in reply to islandgyrl)
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