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RE: You aren't into BDSM, but you are into being submissive, being used, and tied up?


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RE: You aren't into BDSM, but you are into being submis... - 8/23/2009 8:24:24 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I'm gonna go with the classic: 'you started it', Jeff!  :>  (Reminding Jeff that clown sex is gonna squick me out each and every time, though he knows that already).  < hugs >
  Davan

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It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

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Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: You aren't into BDSM, but you are into being submis... - 8/23/2009 8:25:50 PM   
GoddessImaginos


Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I'm gonna go with the classic: 'you started it', Jeff!  :>  (Reminding Jeff that clown sex is gonna squick me out each and every time, though he knows that already).  < hugs >
Davan


OH NOES! Klown sechs is invading multiple threads! Get out now while you still have a chance.. 

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(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: You aren't into BDSM, but you are into being submis... - 8/23/2009 9:56:00 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		~fr
The girls are missing something because BDSM is "being submissive, being used, and tied up".
quote:

ORIGINAL: TearsofLove92

I need some insight on this. For the past few weeks, girls that I met out in the "vanilla" world all say they aren't into BDSM, bondage, or being used. Okay, cool, right? No.

Because they go on to say they like to serve, be tied up, and submitting to males.


Keep in mind I'm 20, so the girls are all around there, too, so are they being "young rebels" and rebelling against terminology, or am I completely missing something?


quote:


Keep in mind I'm 20, so the girls are all around there, too, so are they being "young rebels" and rebelling against terminology, or am I completely missing something?


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I give good thread.

(in reply to TearsofLove92)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: You aren't into BDSM, but you are into being submis... - 8/23/2009 10:28:04 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I know a number of slaves who are "not into" BDSM and especially the SM aspects of things. They are simply service slaves who love to serve a Master or Mistress by carrying out their domestic chores in the manner of a well trained servant. Such dynamics are just as valid as those which incorporate a heavy BDSM content. Nor does such a dynamic detract from therm being slaves nor their owner from being a Master or Mistress. It is just a different end of the overall BDSM spectrum no more no less. 

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http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to TearsofLove92)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: You aren't into BDSM, but you are into being submis... - 8/23/2009 10:51:34 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe they enjoy the activities, but don't feel like taking on that BDSM label.  Or feel like it is too much of a stereotype for them.


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"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
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(in reply to TearsofLove92)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: You aren't into BDSM, but you are into being submis... - 8/24/2009 8:42:56 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		It sounds like what your expectations of a submissive or slave are don't match with what those specific ladies are interested in, regardless of the labels you use. I think the part about "knowing what they want" is a little odd. I've been doing BDSM since I was 20, and back when I was looking, I wanted a kinky boyfriend who I was compatible with intellectually, emotionally, sexually, and in BDSM. I wasn't much worried about their D/s or BDSM orientation, or what specific kinks they were into, as long as there wasn't a dramatic playstyle or headspace difference that would cause a direct conflict (such as being really focused on humiliation). Do you seriously expect them to tell their non-kinky friends details about how you tied them up and used them? If you aren't going on vanilla dates with them as well as playing, it seems a little odd that they'd outright lie about it, but a lot of people aren't "out."

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: You aren't into BDSM, but you are into being submis... - 8/25/2009 2:54:27 AM   
blmtrsne


Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline 		Just a thought you might use later on in a conversation: if your doing the dishes (or something else) and you tell someone to take the towel to dry things, you're ordering him or her to do so. My husband is sub and explained to me he felt arroused when I did so. This means a lot of people accept to be a sub (no protestn they just do) in a lot of ways, but don't recognize it as BDSM because it's in such a soft way. And if they feel good in that situation, it's probably good to explore these feelings in bed to.

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(in reply to TearsofLove92)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: You aren't into BDSM, but you are into being submis... - 8/25/2009 3:17:59 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TearsofLove92

I was pretty sure this was going to be the answer, but opinions never hurt. I, on the other hand, refuse to Dom ANYBODY who doesn't know what they want. And by that, I mean ANYTHING they want.



Girl A - I like to be spanked
Girl B - I like to be spanked too
Girl A - I like ton be tied up
Girl B - Me too
Girl A - I like to be bitten
Girl B - I like to be bitten too
Girl A- I like the other person to take charge
Girl B - Yeah me too
Girl A- I am a submissive
Girl B - Whats one of those?

See the thing is, who cares, I mention this a lot, I live with loads of girls, none of whom self identify as being 'into' BDSM all of whom are very much involved in the kinds of activities that I am, one asked me what she was after an in depth description, I responded well love, you are you. I don't believe a person needs a label to validate themselves, I am engaged in websites like these, in a self identified power exchange relationship and for that reason the labels are useful to me. They aren't they find their relationships out in pubs and at work and are no less fulfilled but the terminology would be rather redundant. None of that means that they do not know what they want.

_____________________________

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Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to TearsofLove92)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: You aren't into BDSM, but you are into being submis... - 8/25/2009 1:45:19 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		*laughs*

Almost perfect Lilly. You forgot...

Girl A - I like to feel a violet wand
Girl B - What the hell is that? But sheez, I like everything else you like...

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: You aren't into BDSM, but you are into being submis... - 8/25/2009 1:46:42 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Fab addition Jeff

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 50
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