Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (Full Version)

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firmlove -> Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 6:19:26 AM)

I have been on and off this site for years now, and put forth serious effort to communicate with Dominate Females.  What am I doing wrong?  I read profiles, try to contact those with simular interests, I am always respectful, I do not play games, and I put as much of myself out there as one can safely on the internet.  Any advice as to why my search is/hasnt worked?



LillyoftheVally -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 6:24:58 AM)

Ahh see I am reminded of a quote "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young" you see basically its the age old problem of you won't find something when you are looking for it. i was lucky I met my current partner when I least expected it, I wasn't looking it just sort of fell into my lap. The more you look the harder it is. I suggest get out there, go to munches and have fun being alone, people are attracted to people having fun.



mnottertail -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 6:25:38 AM)

Uh, lose the frustration in your profile...........sooooooooooooooooo and pppppppppplease....someones thinking gawd, I bet he talks like that too.........

This is your first post. have you introduced yourself out here? No. Have you carried on about other subjects than does Mistress use pig grease on her strapon? no. Have you been pleasant and respectful and shown some intelligence out here? No.

Well, here's where the Ladies are, women are social creatures. Try to calm down and don't be so busy looking that you become pathetic.

Live, laugh, enjoy.......engage in pleasant and clever repartee.......tell of your hobbies, your hopes your ambitions (leave the sex out of it).

Ron(ne)

oh yea, you say in your profile you are a profession something or other............it would be Dominant.
FYI



mnottertail -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 6:28:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Ahh see I am reminded of a quote "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young" you see basically its the age old problem of you won't find something when you are looking for it. i was lucky I met my current partner when I least expected it, I wasn't looking it just sort of fell into my lap. The more you look the harder it is. I suggest get out there, go to munches and have fun being alone, people are attracted to people having fun.



Humma Kavula!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zaphrod



firmlove -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 6:31:47 AM)

Thanks for the feed back, I am taking note of all of this, and will apply it.



Apocalypso -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 6:33:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Ahh see I am reminded of a quote "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young"
What did she tell you?



DarkSteven -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 6:35:12 AM)

What mnottertail said, but more gently.

Read the Dommes' journal entries and get a feel for their personalities there.  If you like something in the entry, write her, quote it, and comment on it.  Do the same thing for Dommes' forum posts.



LillyoftheVally -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 6:38:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Ahh see I am reminded of a quote "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young"
What did she tell you?



"I don't know. I never listened"

Edit to add, post reprimand, I fell into his lap sorry sir [8D]



CarrieO -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 6:42:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: firmlove

I have been on and off this site for years now, and put forth serious effort to communicate with Dominate Females. 

Dominant females or women? What I mean is are you approaching them as individul women or as one group falling under the label of femdoms? 

What am I doing wrong? 

I don't know.  This is your first post here and I have nothing to go by.

I read profiles, try to contact those with simular interests, I am always respectful, I do not play games, and I put as much of myself out there as one can safely on the internet. 

All good things to do.

Any advice as to why my search is/hasnt worked?

As was already stated...lose the negative stuff in your profile/journal.  No one likes to read whinning.  Keep posting here, make yourself known to those on the boards and maybe then ask this question.  Stop looking so hard for a femdom and start meeting people. Get out into the local kink community and just be yourself...minus the whinning.

Good luck



NoreenSwan -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 8:04:15 AM)

You really do sound like a really decent guy who should have no trouble meeting a girl who would like to spend time with you and who has the same interests. You have a diverse range of interests so you really only have two choices. You can jump on the bus and start asking dommes to give you a chance, or you can sit in the bus station and never go anywhere. It's up to you. Good luck.



lizi -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 8:23:14 AM)

There has been a lot of good information on these boards about how to put together a good profile and how to write a good introductory email. Try the search function at the bottom right of this page and you'll have enough material to get you started.

It's been mentioned already several times that you should lose the 'vent' in the beginning of your profile...please do it already. It's not attractive and it's not going to attract anyone to you. LIke attracts like so put out something positive. You have a good start on describing what you are looking for and willing to give to your special someone. How about expanding on some of your own interests? What are your hobbies? Women like to know more about the person they are considering...not just what they can give them. If it's at all possible put up a picture.

You say you've done work on trying to get this to happen for you. It is work...it won't fall into your lap. Approach it as a job - read profiles, write polite emails based on them and keep doing it over and over. Try posting on the message boards more often. Lots of people read what's up here and you become more familiar to them. I myself have contacted men based upon what I have come to know about them based on their postings. It works.

Good luck in your search.... [:)]



LadyPact -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 8:35:43 AM)

I have to agree with what Ron and Steven said.  Nix that first paragraph in your profile.  The rest of it is actually pretty good, but your opening paragraph is what people see even when you're just coming up under search parameters.  They may not bother to read the rest with that introduction.

While I understand that people have various reasons for not posting a picture, I'm not a huge fan of the pic available by request bit.  Is it possible to post a shot that doesn't include your face?  Profiles with pictures get more attention than those that don't have one. 

Other than that, have you been doing anything else besides just using this site?  Going to munches and so on?

By the way, yes, sometimes it is this hard.  There are times that people just fall into each other's laps, but it doesn't hurt for you to take a proactive approach.





ShaktiSama -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 11:09:16 AM)

Venting in your profile is just as unattractive as venting in real life.  People with issues are not pleasant company.  So one more vote to re-write that profile! I would ditch more than the paragraph at the beginning--I would ditch the whole attitude that inspires it and all the resentment it breeds.

The world in general, the bdsm community in particular, and the specific dominant women who read your profile?  Do not owe you a damn thing.  Yes, it IS this hard to find someone.  And by having a negative attitude, you'll make it more than hard--you'll make it impossible.



mnottertail -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 11:11:47 AM)

LOL, on the venting, I am reminded of ......

Stifle, Edith!!!! STIFLE!!!!!!

Arch(ee)



MsStarlett -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 4:05:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Ahh see I am reminded of a quote "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young"


A Hitchhiker Fan!  Lilly, I'm so crush'n on you right now!



dreamerdreaming -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 4:11:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: firmlove

I have been on and off this site for years now, and put forth serious effort to communicate with Dominate Females.  What am I doing wrong?  I read profiles, try to contact those with simular interests, I am always respectful, I do not play games, and I put as much of myself out there as one can safely on the internet.  Any advice as to why my search is/hasnt worked?


Fast reply:

Opening your profile text with negativity is a huge turnoff. Of even greater concern to me, is that you apparently don't know this. I mean, c'mon- how have you survived to adulthood without figuring out something so basic? Are you attracted to people who open with complaints? [8|]

If I were seeking: right away I'd conclude from your opening lines that you are a clueless complainer, and block you.



StoneFox -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 4:14:42 PM)

Ae you cute? And not a douchebag?? And NOT on th Megan's Law wedsite?



mnottertail -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 6:14:10 PM)

Oh, the fuckers gotta get married now? wedsite?



slavekal -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 7:44:42 PM)

Put some pics on your profile.



StoneFox -> RE: Am I doing something wrong or is it this hard? (8/25/2009 9:09:38 PM)

I'm so sorry. I was really REALLY drunk earlier (surprised I actually was able to spell as well as I did). I won't go into too much detail but if "wedsite" is the worst I said/did here, that's pretty lucky for me. Again, so sorry.



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