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RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/29/2009 8:36:43 AM

masterlink65

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline

your master should be able to take care of its needs. it is the master responsibility to take care of the slaves needs.

question is.. is meeting your needs but not your wants?

do you know the difference between needs and wants.

does you master know the difference between needs and wants?

if your wants exceed your needs, how can you expect your master to comply?

what are these financial needs you speak of? your question is pretty vague. and i dont see how anyone should be responsible for your financial wants and needs.

(in reply to Kinkerbelle68)

Post #: 41

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/29/2009 8:42:37 AM

masterlink65

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline

reading her profile, i do not get the me me me sensation. the thing i saw that would scare me away at first read is the fact she is a christian. i wouldnt touch that with your ten foot pole

(in reply to Kinkerbelle68)

Post #: 42

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/29/2009 9:32:38 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

quote:

you will make your own financial and professional decisions, but you expect to be supported financially if the time comes that you can't support yourself.

*chuckles* I was thinking that too. Actually, I was thinking Leonidas' second statement also pretty applied to Carol before the collaring.

So, now we have folks reading along going RED FLAG, RED FLAG AT LEONIDAS' HOUSE!! Giving someone that kind of control over you is atypical in this community, and yes, for some, is a "red flag".
I had a hard time seeing that as all "atypical". I adjusted Carol's career at least twice while we were simply husband & wife. And, being the numerical part not to mention more dominant, I also controlled the money.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 43

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/29/2009 2:14:20 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I don't see it as atypical when people are married, or are not married and live together. Expecting someone else to be able to cover their own bills PLUS the bills of another household... not so much. I know very few people who could do that. So that makes me wonder if the real problem was that he wouldn't and/or couldn't let her move in with him.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 44

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/29/2009 3:49:56 PM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas

So, now we have folks reading along going RED FLAG, RED FLAG AT LEONIDAS' HOUSE!! Giving someone that kind of control over you is atypical in this community, and yes, for some, is a "red flag".

Oh come on, it's not that atypical is it? If it is, maybe it explains some of the difficulty I'm having finding another master, but this arrangement sounds fairly standard for master/slave relationships. My ower directed my career (and since I contracted for most of that time there was a lot to direct, or at least frequent stage exits and entrances) and controlled all the money. I didn't get an allowance, but I didn't particularly want one either. If I wanted something, like a new novel, I'd just ask him, and then I'd either get it or I wouldn't. Either way was fine: you get the thing and you have a new book to read or whatever it was. You don't get it, and you have the privledge and pleasure of feeling his control. 100% win-win. :)

I do want to live that way again someday. I have some standards I guess, and I won't settle for partial ownership. But why would anyone on here see control or power exchange as a red flag?

(in reply to Leonidas)

Post #: 45

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/29/2009 4:18:30 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

Sounds to me like you're (the OP) using this site to find a man that will take care of you in every way (providing your wants and needs). Good luck.

It's my understanding that being an s-type to a Master means placing him first and your needs are secondary. That said, you shouldn't go hungry but you shouldn't depend on someone to do EVERYTHING for you... if you didn't have a job, went hungry and didn't have any source of income there are places out there that can assist you. That leads me back to my first statement... sounds like you just want someone to care for you.

Oh, I do believe I've read profiles that state they want their slave/sub naked, in a cage, will let them out to use the toilet and shower, be fed ect.... does that work for you?

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to CaringandReal)

Post #: 46

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 5:07:14 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Find someone from that yahoo group, code d odalisque or something like that. Then all you need to do is find someone that just needs a sex slave but is willing to fork over the cash for your upkeep.

Are you suggesting the OP become a prostitute?

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 47

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 5:17:27 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

You went without Food, Shelter and Water when you were unemployed?

WHY?

Were you collecting Unemployment?

Did you not live with him?

If you did then what manner of living was he in that you went without?

Unemployment is usually 70% to 80% of what you were making at your job and it is paid weekly...... So what is the deal?

I need more information.

Steel

Unemployment is on a sliding scale. If I make 100k a year I seriously doubt that I would receive 70-80k. I know of a person who was earning 60k and was receiving 21k, if they were able to collect for a full year

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 48

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 12:11:47 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

You went without Food, Shelter and Water when you were unemployed?

WHY?

Were you collecting Unemployment?

Did you not live with him?

If you did then what manner of living was he in that you went without?

Unemployment is usually 70% to 80% of what you were making at your job and it is paid weekly...... So what is the deal?

I need more information.

Steel

Unemployment is on a sliding scale. If I make 100k a year I seriously doubt that I would receive 70-80k. I know of a person who was earning 60k and was receiving 21k, if they were able to collect for a full year

This is true I've made an assumption here in that I assumed she was not a 6-figure income professional.

it is 70% to 80% based usually on an income of $28,000 to $32,000 it drops steadily after than and is supposed to be used as a way to stay fed, the belief system is that someone making more than $28,000 to $32,000 should have an ample savings to accomodate for the lack of incoming funds.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 49

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 12:21:29 PM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Find someone from that yahoo group, code d odalisque or something like that. Then all you need to do is find someone that just needs a sex slave but is willing to fork over the cash for your upkeep.

Are you suggesting the OP become a prostitute?

It is basically prostitution that she suggests in her OP -

quote:

How do i make clear that my financial needs must be meet as well in order to have a true power exchange.

< Message edited by mc1234 -- 8/30/2009 12:22:00 PM >

_____________________________

** Owned by E **

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 50

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 12:59:45 PM

Kinkerbelle68

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/25/2009
Status: offline

This is inresopnce to Kiwi... I must earn what i deserve but i am talking about my true human need for food.. safe shelter, medicine if it is truly needed.. I have not lived off my looks, i have worked hard my entire adult life and prvoded for myself but i have come on had times as many of us have and have found it difficult to exchange power when one who has commited to provide for me saftey and well being sits by while i go without a meal.. I know hard times and although many seem to think that i am looking to fill my wants from someones elses pocket.. I guess many dont get the difference between wants and NEEDS!!!!!

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 51

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 1:06:56 PM

Kinkerbelle68

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/25/2009
Status: offline

The situation was this... While owned by him and under a promise to take care of my emotional, physical and other need ,i lost my job... we did not live together..yes i get unemployment and of course struggle to pay the bills.. while making sure the bills were met and my children were feed, there just wasnt enough for me..not just that.. i was in fear of my power being shut off and was doing without medicine that i needed. The fact that my doing without those things and him doing nothing to assit made me feel unsafe and unprotected...

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 52

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 1:18:30 PM

Lostkitten3

Posts: 179
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline

Oh My prostitution. So every woman that has a man that makes enough money for her to stay home and take care of the house and kids is a prostitute? C'mon. That has been going on for thousands of years and is only uncommon now because of Feminism. Now women have to work to appear worthy to society. It is bullshit.
Taking care of the house, your health, your man's health (I am referring to healthy foods here) is a full time job. Kids, are another full time job. Then kids are a third full time job.

There are a few men left who understand this.

Did you specifically ask for help from him? Like "Can I borrow $100 and pay you back after I am employed again so I can feed the kids and get my meds?" Or did you expect him to offer it?

Because if you didn't ask, he may not have offered to prevent you from embarrassment, or offense. Some feminists seem to feel opening the door is offensive, so offering you cash may be offensive too. ANd clearly some people see it as prostitution, so he may have wanted to prevent you from feeling that as well?

The surrendered wife says, ask for what you want, it is up to him to decide how and where and when to give it. I get you aren't his wife, but the same applies to girlfriends.

(in reply to Kinkerbelle68)

Post #: 53

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 1:26:50 PM

happylittlepet

Posts: 289
Status: offline

FR

I do not have to be in an (physically) intimate relationship with someone to look out for him/her.

(in reply to masterlink65)

Post #: 54

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 1:31:50 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

if it were me in your situation I think I would feel a little embarrassed, even ashamed to expect my Dom to take care of me if we didn't live together. Being an adult means I should be capable of taking care of myself and finding the means to do so...unemployment, soup kitchens, downsizing, cutting back on expenses....such as your internet service.

I could see if you were living together or you are married, but you don't even live together.

(in reply to happylittlepet)

Post #: 55

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 1:38:39 PM

happylittlepet

Posts: 289
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

if it were me in your situation I think I would feel a little embarrassed, even ashamed to expect my Dom to take care of me if we didn't live together. Being an adult means I should be capable of taking care of myself and finding the means to do so...unemployment, soup kitchens, downsizing, cutting back on expenses....such as your internet service.

I could see if you were living together or you are married, but you don't even live together.

I understand that, but I don't agree.

And here in Ontario it's like this: if you show up with kids at a soup kitchen, they have to call children's services on you.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 56

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 2:28:14 PM

OrionTheWolf

Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

Define prostitute. Finances has become so ingrained into many relationships, that many have a financial need be met in the relationship. Even looking at the institution of marriage and how it has progressed through the centuries, it has become more and more about property and wealth.

Those that are up front about requiring financial needs to be met, are often more honest about it than those that go about it in different ways. What is it about sex for money that triggers people so much? You put just about any other service in it's place and people are often accepting of the situation, but not sex. Is sex holy, or special in some spiritual form that if done for money causes some corruption of the soul?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Find someone from that yahoo group, code d odalisque or something like that. Then all you need to do is find someone that just needs a sex slave but is willing to fork over the cash for your upkeep.

Are you suggesting the OP become a prostitute?

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 57

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 2:31:43 PM

impishlilhellcat

Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

You went without Food, Shelter and Water when you were unemployed?

WHY?

Were you collecting Unemployment?

Did you not live with him?

If you did then what manner of living was he in that you went without?

Unemployment is usually 70% to 80% of what you were making at your job and it is paid weekly...... So what is the deal?

I need more information.

Steel

Unemployment is on a sliding scale. If I make 100k a year I seriously doubt that I would receive 70-80k. I know of a person who was earning 60k and was receiving 21k, if they were able to collect for a full year

In michigan it tops out at $362 a week no matter what you make. I think it depends on the state.

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 58

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 4:48:49 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

if it were me in your situation I think I would feel a little embarrassed, even ashamed to expect my Dom to take care of me if we didn't live together. Being an adult means I should be capable of taking care of myself and finding the means to do so...unemployment, soup kitchens, downsizing, cutting back on expenses....such as your internet service.

I could see if you were living together or you are married, but you don't even live together.

I understand that, but I don't agree.

And here in Ontario it's like this: if you show up with kids at a soup kitchen, they have to call children's services on you.

And?? If you can't provide for you or your family that's what children's services are for..to help you to do just that even if that means that your children need to be placed elsewhere until you get back on your feet.

Ya know not all government services are out to pull families apart no matter what you may see in the movies or hear on the news.

(in reply to happylittlepet)

Post #: 59

RE: How do i make sure my needs are met... - 8/30/2009 6:25:22 PM

happylittlepet

Posts: 289
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

if it were me in your situation I think I would feel a little embarrassed, even ashamed to expect my Dom to take care of me if we didn't live together. Being an adult means I should be capable of taking care of myself and finding the means to do so...unemployment, soup kitchens, downsizing, cutting back on expenses....such as your internet service.

I could see if you were living together or you are married, but you don't even live together.

I understand that, but I don't agree.

And here in Ontario it's like this: if you show up with kids at a soup kitchen, they have to call children's services on you.

And?? If you can't provide for you or your family that's what children's services are for..to help you to do just that even if that means that your children need to be placed elsewhere until you get back on your feet.

Ya know not all government services are out to pull families apart no matter what you may see in the movies or hear on the news.

My intent with my first post in this thread was to pull this problem away from the dynamic Dom/sub. Even if there is no living together, we can't deny that there is some sort of a relationship. Let's call it 'friends'. I am used to having friends over for dinner. When one of my friends is ill, and will benefit from a cooked meal for the family, the other friends set up a schedule and prepare those meals daily, as long as needed.

From reading the OP and additional information that trickled in, is it too much to hope that the one 'friend' has the other 'friend' over for a meal once in a while to lessen the burden? This is what I got from the last post from the OP:

quote:

The situation was this... While owned by him and under a promise to take care of my emotional, physical and other need ,i lost my job... we did not live together..yes i get unemployment and of course struggle to pay the bills.. while making sure the bills were met and my children were feed, there just wasnt enough for me..not just that.. i was in fear of my power being shut off and was doing without medicine that i needed. The fact that my doing without those things and him doing nothing to assit made me feel unsafe and unprotected...

Red: There is money coming in, but it's not enough. Hopefully this situation changes soon. My friends would actually be upset with me if they would find out later that I struggled like this and didn't tell them. Isn't helping each other out an important part of being human?

Blue: Does the fact that these 2 people don't live together make the 'being owned and that promise' invalid? Or is it that in hard times you get to know who your real friends are?

I brought up children's services to show that even if the OP is being smart with money but still can't make ends meet, a soup kitchen is not an option for her. It would be if she had no kids. And let's forget the idea that children's services have foster parents growing like a forest. They don't. If they did, every child in poverty would be placed elsewhere. And again, my friends would never find it acceptable for me to have to go to a soup kitchen. Maybe I am just very lucky.

I don't quite understand how your last sentence relates to the 2nd last. To me they go in opposite directions.

To me it seems that the dynamic of the OP has fallen apart (this should include the sexual component as well). I can understand that losing this during hard times is disappointing for her.

< Message edited by happylittlepet -- 8/30/2009 6:27:15 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 60

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