quote:

But what does closure mean to you, and just how important is it to you? How do you go about giving someone else closure? How does it affect you? Them?

And if it isn't that important to you, why isn't it?

And what about the times when you have felt the need for closure but haven't been given it? How did you cope? What did you do?

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ORIGINAL: stella41b

But what does closure mean to you, and just how important is it to you? How do you go about giving someone else closure? How does it affect you? Them?

And if it isn't that important to you, why isn't it?

And what about the times when you have felt the need for closure but haven't been given it? How did you cope? What did you do?

Your thoughts, experiences, views, comments observations all welcome.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

I have to admit that things haven't been all that easy over the past few months. It was only a few months ago when I staged a reading of my play 'Switch' at the Croydon munch, and we were about to open the stage performances at LAM (London Alternative Market) when an actress and an actor called me, two weeks before the opening to say that they no longer wanted to be part of the project and quit.

I responded by liquidating the theatre, cancelling all performances and withdrew. At the same time I was getting to know a domme here in London and I was afraid that I would be investing too much into the relationship. The fears were unfounded as a planned meeting shortly before my birthday, two months after our contact never came to be and she stopped answering e-mails and phone calls. I had given her more time because she was from the States and was experiencing visa problems and knowing she was also ill I was genuinely worried.

I stopped attending munches and events because I didn't want to look stupid after the play had failed to materialize. I have since recovered from my deep depression and thanks to friends and some people here I have been working on a new project which I'm hoping will bear fruit towards the end of the year.

However whilst setting up this new project I bought a new SIM for my cellphone and on the offchance called this domme, again receiving no response. I thought no more of it, and was about to let it go again when she called back on this new number. As soon as she heard my voice she slammed the phone down. This was perhaps her idea of closure.

Now at this point I have to confess that a new project, friendship or relationship almost invariably becomes a major motivational factor in my life.

Now please don't think that I have any problems getting out of bed or with getting things done, or that I don't appreciate the people who are already in my life, but it's that prospect of a new project or relationship with gives me additional energy, vitality, hope and good feeling.

I can't help this, this is who I am, my lifestyle to this point has been and is very transient, I chase dreams, my lifestyle is based on my creativity and artistic work and my desire to make this world a better place giving happiness to other people and myself.

It doesn't always work out, and I accept that, projects come to an end or fall apart, and relationships start, continue and end and hard as it may be at times I accept that too.

But then some relationships or even friendship don't end, because the person disappears or stops contacting you. When that happens something inside me dies, I start to crumble, and I often have to catch myself and become emotionally detached before I start to fall apart.

This is something I just don't understand. Part of this reason is because I'm not that much to look at, don't have much and what usually gets me into a relationship is my personality and character. I've been in some intense relationships and myself on a couple of occasions have walked away or ended things abruptly. What I've found happens is that those positive feelings turn very quickly to negative ones. I've been stalked once but what brought this home to me was the time when a former girlfriend had my rented apartment torched (I was out of the country at the time).

Since then I don't walk away, but always seek to end things face to face or if that isn't possible in writing. It's never easy to let go of a relationship, not even a bad one, and I figure that if I have invested my efforts, feelings and emotions into trying to being with someone, then they are worth the same level of efforts, feelings and emotions when we are separating. Even when I've left service type relationships it hasn't been easy, but for me closure is always worth it for one reason - friendship, even if that friendship is temporary and borne out of respect for the other person's feelings.

Personally i find it ridiculous that we seek, we form relationships, we build dynamics, enter into them, we control, we serve, submit, dominate, play, experience sub drop, dom drop, experience such intense emotions and feelings, place such an importance on aftercare, and yet some people feel closure is unimportant or not necessary.

I know that closure is important for other people too. I can still remember feeling a lump in my throat while reading LadyPact's moving account of her separation from clip some time back, one of her many memorable posts.

But what does closure mean to you, and just how important is it to you? How do you go about giving someone else closure? How does it affect you? Them?

And if it isn't that important to you, why isn't it?

And what about the times when you have felt the need for closure but haven't been given it? How did you cope? What did you do?

Your thoughts, experiences, views, comments observations all welcome.

quote:


And what about the times when you have felt the need for closure but haven't been given it? How did you cope? What did you do?

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexisubi

closure to me is when you dont need closure anymore... cause somewhere along the line you got it! 

quote:

But what does closure mean to you, and just how important is it to you?

quote:

How do you go about giving someone else closure?

quote:

How does it affect you? Them?

quote:

And if it isn't that important to you, why isn't it?

quote:

And what about the times when you have felt the need for closure but haven't been given it? How did you cope? What did you do?