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what happened to friendship? - 8/29/2009 4:37:12 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
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My own personal frustration at the moment.

I chatted with a local boy a while back, things got crazy at work and I didn't have a chance to talk to much of anyone for awhile. When I just tried to say hi to him tonight, to see how he's doing, etc. I find out that I'm blocked. Now, color me confused here, but even though we weren't compatable for a relationship beyond friendship, we did both say that having friends in the lifestyle was good, and he said that he hoped we could be friends so I thought we were going to chat and be friends. And yet there was no warning to the block, just *poof* I'm blocked. Is it so horrible for me to want to just be friends with some people? Am I wrong to think that friendship is a plus?

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

Post #: 1

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/29/2009 4:39:29 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Was there romance involved Ma`am ? Sometimes its hard to return to being friends if feelings still run deep.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 2

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/29/2009 4:41:15 PM

SweetDommes

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Joined: 10/5/2004
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No, there was no romance. I messaged him because he was local and because of something on his profile - but as part of his screen name is "cuckold" I knew right off the bat that we weren't compatable for romance, and I did say so in either the first or second message to him.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 3

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/29/2009 4:41:42 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

A lot of people use "just friends" when they don't have any chemistry, even if they have no intention of pursuing a genuine friendship.

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 4

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/29/2009 4:43:29 PM

fadedshadow

Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
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wow that kinda sucks

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your living nightmare

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Post #: 5

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/29/2009 4:45:54 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
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I thought that we were pursuing a genuine friendship ... I know that I was. I did leave him a message at one point about how sucky work was and that when I had more time, I'd be around to chat again. Personally, I think it's kind of nice to have friends in the lifestyle - they don't think I'm off my rocker for wanting my boyfriend to sit at my feet and do my laundry, and let me spank him, etc LOL

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to fadedshadow)

Post #: 6

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/29/2009 7:17:02 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I've had people block me for the most retarded reasons. People get all snippity and then decide to block you for whatever reason. I guess they think they're "getting you" somehow, cause that's always the impression I get from such a stupid action. I have blocked very few people, but mainly because they went out of their way to be rude to me. But sometimes people take offense over any little thing, so what can you do?

_____________________________

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The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 7

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/29/2009 7:20:25 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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So sorry to hear you were blocked by someone you thought was a friend. At least you didnt have more invested and you werent knowing him well enough to be devistated by it. MAy your friendships be filled with joy and may they be genuine and loyal.

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Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 8

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/29/2009 8:54:14 PM

LilMichele

Posts: 65
Joined: 6/13/2009
Status: offline

Ooo! I just had something like this happen! Have you ever noticed what might or might not be inconsistencies in someone's postings? I kind of did, maybe I didn't, I wasn't sure but since there was a friendship starting it seemed reasonable to ask. It was even worded so that he could easily say "I would rather not discuss it" and it never would have been brought up again. Apparantly it was a huge mistake. I got such an angry response it actually offended me, and that is hard to do. My response (which in hindsight was just really so not necessary) was deleted/unread. Three days later I've realized this was not the kind of person that would even be compatible as a friend.

On the plus side I often wondered how I would know if someone read or just deleted my messages. Now I know! See...silver linings everywhere.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 9

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/29/2009 10:57:23 PM

Ambyant

Posts: 194
Joined: 4/22/2008
From: California Girl
Status: offline

I like friendship - I have and will encourage a good example of submissiveness-
(the kind I like = feisty, witty, cheerfull and eager) as well as Dominants who's attitudes and advice I admire.
Even if I am so far away that all I can tell them is "Wow, I really hope you are found by some One Wonderful soon!"
Ladies, I suggest we remember to breathe and be a bit closer in our world. Become friends with Each other~
Maybe we should not post names here but if the symptoms are consistent,
why not save each other some frustration and discontent with
the fakes here when there Are so very many genuine articles hoping for Our attention?

Perhaps this has been suggested, if so, how well does it work?
Always the best ~Ambyant

_____________________________

~ If a little knowledge is dangerous, I'm a very dangerous Girl ~

Diva Zya had to start all over again
damn password changes!

(in reply to LilMichele)

Post #: 10

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/30/2009 7:01:07 AM

gentlemanprince

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline

I have emailed several Dommes whose profiles looked interesting and indicated that they were looking for friends as well as bdsm relationships. I was clear that I am already involved with a wonderful woman and that all I was seeking was friendship. I've gotten virtually no responses to those emails. Perhaps they weren't really interested in friendships or perhaps they just didn't like this frog. Oh well. I'm not shattered and will try again if something comes up.

(in reply to Ambyant)

Post #: 11

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/30/2009 7:37:14 AM

QueenAlaleh

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline

Maybe you're better off finding out what he's really like now, as opposed to later.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 12

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/30/2009 7:51:45 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

My own personal frustration at the moment.

I chatted with a local boy a while back, things got crazy at work and I didn't have a chance to talk to much of anyone for awhile. When I just tried to say hi to him tonight, to see how he's doing, etc. I find out that I'm blocked. Now, color me confused here, but even though we weren't compatable for a relationship beyond friendship, we did both say that having friends in the lifestyle was good, and he said that he hoped we could be friends so I thought we were going to chat and be friends. And yet there was no warning to the block, just *poof* I'm blocked. Is it so horrible for me to want to just be friends with some people? Am I wrong to think that friendship is a plus?

no, i don't feel you are and it can be a little disheartening when our willingness to connect with another party seems mutual and abruptly changes. but you must remember no matter how nice the words appear on your screen, the substance and meaning behind them may be nonexistent. which is to say that in the virtual world things are rarely as they appear. simply put, it isn't real.

people come here for a variety of purposes and for many that involves companionship. some have restricted themselves in this manner and really aren't open to establishing platonic friendships. i can only suggest that before you invest your time and energy into something that appears promising, have a good look at the other person's actions. perhaps your absence gave the impression that you were no longer interested in speaking, particularly if you were incommunicado and never mentioned being so to him. the silence may have been justification on his part for doing this.

i would hasten to attach the label of friendship to any correspondence that is not reciprocal and had some form of dialogue outside of this medium. what makes this person a friend to you, save the exchange of email? acquaintance seems more fitting. over the years i've had one lesson drilled in my head time and time again. people that have a sincere desire to be a part of your life do not disappear.

it took awhile before i stopped asking why, making excuses, and simply accepted that person never felt the same. regardless for the reasons involved, maintaining the connection was not important to him. as difficult as that is to accept when our motives are sincere. we cannot hold on to something that never existed. best of luck in your endeavors.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 13

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/30/2009 7:53:35 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlemanprince

I have emailed several Dommes whose profiles looked interesting and indicated that they were looking for friends as well as bdsm relationships. I was clear that I am already involved with a wonderful woman and that all I was seeking was friendship. I've gotten virtually no responses to those emails. Perhaps they weren't really interested in friendships or perhaps they just didn't like this frog. Oh well. I'm not shattered and will try again if something comes up.

i think the frog is adorable. he's even wearing a crown. who could resist royalty in disguise?

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to gentlemanprince)

Post #: 14

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/30/2009 7:59:21 AM

MistressWolfen

Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

You are not wrong to pursue friendships. My experience has been very positive and I have pleasant correspondence with a number of people on this site. For the most part we may never meet in RL but then I have RL friends as well.

_____________________________

Quoth the raven

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 15

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/30/2009 9:30:10 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I've found that the internet is a thing where people forget that there is another human at that other keyboard. So many see conversations as a time filler, and nothing more, so when the other person leaves the immediate line of sight, it's on to the next one. As to the blocking thing... wow. A person has to seriously annoy me before I will block them!

Gentlemanprince... I would not have pursued a friendship with you, either, if I did not know you from elsewhere. Why? Because of the large proportion of men who are looking for sideline entertainment. A friendly email or two turns into a wankfest, and.... yes, the BLOCK function. If I know someone from the boards, great, if not, well, they can find friendship in another person.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to MistressWolfen)

Post #: 16

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/30/2009 9:32:15 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

I've met a very good friend on here (for anyone interested in a puppy from MI, let me know, I'll give you his name

) and made a few that we haven't actually met face to face yet. I'm not really upset by the one who sparked this topic, just ... confused and vaguely disappointed. It isn't the first time it's happened, and well, this time I decided to get some other opinions.

Personally, I'm always happy to make new friends - and if they do something to offend me as we're becoming friends, rest assured I won't just block them without warning... I make sure that they know what they did LMAO

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to MistressWolfen)

Post #: 17

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/30/2009 4:01:28 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Local folks who are interested in friendships are usually good with Me. I'm not so much the type to chat with just random folks, though I will trade emails and so on. I tend to stay away from the chat deal unless it's someone that I'm actually interested in meeting and playing with.

Non local folks that I get to know from the boards I'll chat with if there is already a friendship established from emails, but that's rare. I don't do situations like someone mails Me from out of the blue in another state and says, oh, I just want friends in the lifestyle. That's pretty much a bs line with Me. I figure, if a person really wants friends, it's going to be with someone they know, not just some random profile that comes up.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 18

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/30/2009 8:20:29 PM

MissBeautiful2U

Posts: 98
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

That's weird, since this is not a situation where there was romance and it went back to 'friends' that doesn't make much sense at all to me. I like having friends and most of the people I know who are in the lifestyle I've either not been a good match for or I was not a good match for one of their friends.

I think that this is not the norm, but I would not let it bother you. It is better not to be friends with someone who is that temperamental.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 19

RE: what happened to friendship? - 8/30/2009 8:38:24 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

I have several friendships with sub males here. Those friendships just as important to me as my r/l face to face relationships. Currently, I've decided that from now on, subs have to be friends first. Bar none. I'm just sick of the do-me wankers. If they can't carry on a vanilla conversation, I'm not wasting my time on them otherwise.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to MissBeautiful2U)

Post #: 20

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