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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I'd like to add that it is imperative to enjoy yourself while hunting.  As soon as you get grumpy realizing that you may not be able to find your one true lifelong match by 7 PM on Tuesday, the resultant bad mood infects you.  If you realize that online otherhunting is a lot more fun that watching TV, then you'll have fun and getting your other is a bonus if it happens.

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Do not badmouth someone if they turn you down. It really doesnt win you any points with anyone and it will likely make it harder for you to be taken seriously by others later. This applies to badmouthing former partners as well. Remember that new people looking at you can read the posts, and so they know what sort of treatment they can look forward to if your relationship doesnt work out down the line.

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ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

Since there have been so many complaining threads lately about how hard it is to find someone, how terribly long and hard someone works to try and get a foot in the door, and how awful it is that all these emails are sent out and yet go unanswered... I thought Id post something here I have posted elsewhere as well. I mentor, and this is a posting I have put in one of the forums for Mentors and Mentees on another site. Maybe some of these points might make it a little easier for someone to get past that terrible wall of noncommunication and finally talk to someone.

A hint to those looking to get into the lifestyle and starting to contact people.
Not everyone is going to accept or be interested in what you have to offer them. This goes for sub and dom alike, just because you offer yourself does not obligate someone else to accept that offer.

If you are going to say you have read someones profile and found it interesting, then you had better have actually read it and be able to prove it. If you have not read it, you will be easily called on this lie and it will make you look bad from the get go.

What you consider flattery may be construed by someone else as an insult. Be careful how you word things. Flattery, worded vulgarly, will likely not get you the desired result.

If someone turns you down, trying to argue with them that they really should give you a chance is usually not an advisable path to take. Why waste your time with someone who isnt really interested anyway?

Do not badmouth someone if they turn you down. It really doesnt win you any points with anyone and it will likely make it harder for you to be taken seriously by others later. This applies to badmouthing former partners as well. Remember that new people looking at you can read the posts, and so they know what sort of treatment they can look forward to if your relationship doesnt work out down the line.

Do not question someones being "real" or "true" just because they are not interested in you. Just accept that you would have been a bad match and move on. They are no less real and true for not being into what you are into than you are for not being into their kinks.

Do not write checks your ass cant cash. I know, that sounds awful, but misrepresenting yourself in the beginning is only going to turn into trouble later. Do not paint yourself to be a supermasochist if you have never actually felt pain before. Dont say you are a Master with the singletail whip if you arent even sure what one actually looks like. Dont rave about how much you love strapon play if you have a virgin ass... these things will come back to bite you in that virgin ass if you actually make it to meeting the person you are talking to.

Chances are if you dont feel like who you actually are is impressive enough to get someones attention then you shouldnt be trying for their attention. If you have to lie to be what they want, then you arent what they want. Find someone who wants what you actually are rather than someone you need to put on an act for.

DV

PS most of this comes from real emails and conversations I have had with submissives who are new to the lifestyle. Pitfalls for many and I know they apply to dominants as well, I just dont have many of them contacting me.

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ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Ummm... can I add, on the male D to female s side of the coin, "Do not start your first email with, 'Hello, girl' or any other generic nick"? Sorry, just got one of those, signed "Lord", . . .

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So opening with "What up G" and closing with "Lord Pimpalicious" isn't a good idea?

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ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

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ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Ummm... can I add, on the male D to female s side of the coin, "Do not start your first email with, 'Hello, girl' or any other generic nick"? Sorry, just got one of those, signed "Lord", . . .

So opening with "What up G" and closing with "Lord Pimpalicious" isn't a good idea?

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ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Ahh, but Prin, it does. Telling you what to avoid is one of the biggest steps in learning what to do. Think about all the mail you get, and think then if they use what I wrote to weed out all the parts I said not to do. The quality would VASTLY improve. The problem is not that people do not know what to write , they just dont seem to understand that there are parts that are innapropriate and should be left out. I have seen what would have been briliant mail, except for the unnecessary incusion of a sour grapes rant about an ex, or an overly vulgar reference to what they would like dont to them by me and why. 

PS in our zeal to point out the negatives, you included the dont in the fact that I dont have many dominants contacing me.