quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Fast reply:

What jumps out at me about your OP is that "to love and be loved" isn't on your list.

And yet, a lot of the stuff that is on your list can be seen as qualities of love.

Once bitten, twice shy, OP?

quote:

ORIGINAL: SilentSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

You know you can shorted most of that list down to four words lally.... "someone I can trust" ..... Rather a prerequisit for what most folks are looking for.

well said...

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For the original post: The way I see it, you hold your own future. There's not need to look into other people's eyes to see it. If you can't see your future, how could other provide it for you?! You're a submissive, but above that, you're a human being. It's nice to be selfless, but remember you can't give what you don't have. If you want to give yourself to another person, you need to have a "self" first.

Edit to add:

Well... reading through some of the posts... i was shocked how many people never thought about what they want. what, you want your dom to be mind readers or something? I'm sorry, but this is consensual BDSM, not slavery in it's historical context. Everyone in the relationship needs to be fulfilled and happy. That means, you need to communicate with your dom openly and clearly about what you want for it, yes not just what you need, but also what you want. Getting basic needs met won't make one happy in the long run. Of course, eventually it is up to your dom whether to grant your wish or not, but you need to let him know.

you need to know yourself. IMHO, "I know you more than you know yourself" is the biggest lie in the world, no...the biggest lie in the world is actually "i love you forever". but the above line come pretty close. Know yourself, what you need, what you want, sometimes it doesn't need to be verbal or written down, but deep down you need to know, to be aware of yourself. After all it is your body, your life, your future. No matter how devoted you're, your master can't breath for you, he can't move the arms or walk for you. You need to do all these things, that makes you a separate individual, whether you like it or not.

If it's too hard to comprehend, see it this way: make the list, it'll help you serve him better.

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiousheart

I just read this thread, and it inspired my to write a journal entry about it.  Also pasted in my wants to here!

- I want my Domme to know myself better than I do.
- I want to be exploited by that for Her pleasure.
- I want the pit of my gut to be craving and desiring for more.
- I want to be valued, thought about and loved in proportion to how much I give of myself.
- I want my trauma to be felt and enjoyed by myself and my Domme.
- I want to feel electricity, emotion and connectedness.
- I want to be free of my consciousness, and serve with my subconscious.
- I want to feel like my vulnerbility and suffering speak to my Domme on a higher level.
- I want to feel contrast, push/pull.
- I want painful life experiences to be re-experienced through an intense but safe filter.
- I want to feel cathartic.
- I want to not have anything left to give.
- I want perfection for my Domme.
- I want to be able to be an emotional masochist and pushed by someone I trust.
- I want to have meaning
- I want to feel like all of this is a rewarding experience.
- I want to be able to breathe and live when not in BDSM mode.
- I want to scream and feel it intensify when I feel You thriving on it.

I'm very new to BDSM (in practice) and it's helped me understand myself on a deeper level, thank you all!  In saying that I am still confused about how this fits into the dynamic, is it a literal thing you can tick off, or is it more an underlying thing that as experiences go by, you realise these things have or have not occurred and your happiness/feelings will reflect that.