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I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon

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ORIGINAL: slo18

not sure what is proper but I know that haveing my actions accknowledged makes me want to please more. I dont expect it and its a plesant surprise when it is given

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ORIGINAL: twicehappy

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I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon

As a slave i have to say that the day to day display of manners is a good thing both ways.My Master(ScooterTrash) and my Mistress(ShiftedJewel) are invariably polite.They will say something like"will you bring me a fresh soda".When i do they normally say thank you or if busy nod at least.Do not get me wrong,i know this means now.But the courtesy is appreciated both ways.I think if a Dom/Domme has to be constantly demanding it is displaying deep seated insecurities within themselves.If a slave needs that constant display of arrogance they do not think much of themselves or have very little sense of self worth.Acting civil is a good thing.Manners should be expected no matter what the situation.

In response to jamesthehumanrug

I'd have copied your post to quote but your writing style leaves much to be desired.Try leaving out the excess punctuation,you would be much easier to understand.


You stated absolutely not.Why?No i really do not expect constant praise.But a simply acknowledgement is common courtesy.It does not interfere with discipline,rather it enhances it.It lets me know they are satisfied with me and do not feel the need to be harsh.They both know i will hurry to fufill their request immediatly.The simply thank you lets me know they are pleased.Personally if they acted in the manner you are describing i would think i was doing something wrong.I would spend hours in confusion mentally beating myself up trying to figure out why they were unhappy with me.

As to thanking a waiter,bartender,farmer,etc,yes you should always thank someone providing a servive.If a waitress pours you more coffe most people say thank you.If i stop at a farm stand where i like the fruit,i always tell the farmer you grow the best whatever.People like being acknowledged for their efforts.Doing so encourages them to continue and improve the services they provide.
To put it more simply(please,no one be offended by this description), if you are training your dog to fetch,when he brings back the ball you say good boy.This reinforces pleasing you is a positive experience.If you beat your dog for returning the ball pretty soon he'll stop doing so.Or will do so cringing and out of fear.

Personally i serve my Master and Mistress out of love.Simply for the joy it gives me.They want to see me happy,smiling content.This this tells them they are doing their job as owners well.Who wants to be served by a sourpuss or a scared cringing slave? D/s is about being happy for all involved.Just my opinion.

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CERTAINLY YOU DONT BRAKE CONCENTRATION,OR COMPANY,if a waiter comes ,to YOUR table(AND YOURE SO LUCKY?) and, serves ;
you are talking!YOU ARE ,WITH SOMEONE! A PERSON ;PEOPLE! ,NOT A PLEBIAN SLAVE-SUB....
;you don't stop,to say
"THANKYOU"(you dont include the help,unless you wanna remember it with the meal?!)

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The more you have the think about something

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ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing

If I am very busy, I may not even -notice- a drink placed at my hand, or a sandwich or meal left at my elbow, though I will -certainly- notice if my cup is empty when I reach for a drink.

I write, both fiction and non-fiction. When I'm working on a fiction piece, I may be quite caught up in what I am doing, and the rest of the world fades away. At this time, a servant would need to be aware, and be able to work on his or her own to make sure that I have food and drink and that he or she is as unobtrusive as possible, so as not to impede the flow of my work.

In the same way, SilverRose must concentrate on her studies when she is studying. Distractions make it difficult to get back into the complex flow of studies such as anatomy and physiology and microbiology. She might appreciate that her cup of tea was refilled, but if she takes time to acknowledge it then, she'll lose her flow.

That being said, when I am not preoccupied with something, I will often both acknowledge and give some little token of appreciation (a pat, kiss, smack on the butt) for things like my drink being brought, etc. However, these, to me, are a bonus. I tend to look for servants who are able to self-validate their service, since they will -not- always be able to depend on me to validate that they are good, worthy servants for them -- or, if I -were- to stop to do so, it would impede the work that -I- need to be doing. I have worked with some servants who -did- need that constant validation. I didn't get as much of -my- work done, leaving me behind and cranky, because I had to stop for every little thing to either redirect at the end of each and every completed task, or give praise for each little thing that was done. If I have to do that, I might as well stop to do the task myself.

Lady Zephyr

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ORIGINAL: Elegant

A note to remember: People who are discourteous, inhospitable, insecure, rude, pushy, arrogant or nasty are playing power games in real life are usually insecure and possibly emotionally unstable, and more likely to behave abusively than responsibly if given the power to do so. Acting like a rude SOB isn't proof of dominance; it's proof that you have no manners and you are socially stunted.

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ORIGINAL: skinnykitten


I totally agree with the above sentiment - I would add, also, that whilst it may not be necessary to always praise or go overboard acknowledgement-wise, graciousness and courtesy always look good on a person, whereas lack of grace and discourtesy rarely do, even within the bounds of a M/s or D/s relationship.

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ORIGINAL: Dragonzaymaster

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon

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ORIGINAL: Dragonzaymaster

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

The more you have the think about something, the more "un-natural" the act, gesture, or words, the more indication you have that you are doing something incongruous with your nature. Try as you might, you can't keep your eyes open during a sneeze, try as you might you can't go all day without blinking your eyes. If some protocol calls for Doms or Masters not to thank their slaves, or acknowledge their service I guess I'll have to turn in my "Master" card.

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I would add that anytime my slaves recieve a thank you from anyone... They are required to respond with "my Pleasure". "your welcome" is something that they never say! it's a small thing, but big to me.

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ORIGINAL: IronBear
What I use from a Gorean Master’s perspective may well differ from our non Gorean Family but it what I use anyway.

Slave Collared to House Iron Bear or to Me Personally:

Formal Occasions ~

Address slave by name or girl or if mine then “Mine”.
When serving is finished, thank her simply unless she has gone above and beyond and then she may be praised if it pleases me to do so. (I have been known to even gift her with some thing like a slave bell to wear or a slave bracelet at such times also).

Informal Occasions ~

Far more relaxed and I’ll probably tease her and refer to her as my tartlett or slutlett or wench, trik or girl and when serving is finished have her kneel to my left where she can rest her head on my left thigh or even have her on my lay (assuming that she is not too heave for that. (Bad knees y’see). If it suits me she may be treated with a chocolate or two or even le laid across my knees naked so I can amuse myself toying with her bits-n-pieces. The point is it is very relaxed and informal and thus more likely to be quite intimate.

Sub/Slave Collared to People Not Members of House Iron Bear:

Address slave by name or girl.
When serving is finished, thank her simply unless she has gone above and beyond and then she may be praised if it pleases me to do so. Remembering that she is a reflection of her Dominant, I will probably tell her that she is a credit to her Dominant and has honoured his/her collar.

IMO, How you deal with sub/slaves and especially those not in your collar in a public forum is a direct reflection on you as a Dominant.

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ORIGINAL: Dragonzaymaster

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon

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ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

It would depend on the situation. If there is role play going on, and a lack of acknowledgement is appropriate, then that is fine. Or, if I am punishing a boy for just cause, then perhaps I would refrain.
However, in the normal course of events, day to day stuff, I almost always acknowledge a service done for Me. Why wouldn't I? When I say please I am not offering an option, and when I say thank you I am not incurring an obligation. And I enjoy smiling and caressing a cheek, or using a term of endearment as much as anyone.
Strangely, I have been told by more than one submissive that I was not a true Domina if I used the "magic words".