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Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 5:56:57 PM   
VanIsleKnight


Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline 		I feel that because I'm a guy I should have -some- sort of idea as to why men go after women that they know is completely unavailable, yet they still do.  Why is this?  Why would a guy purposefully try to wreck a perfectly good relationship?

I know that some women do this too, but I was reviewing the past relationships of my friends online and off, and while most of the women did cheat, it was because a guy was pursuing them and either 1) trying to get into their pants via alcohol 2) sneaking into her pants by playing the close concerned friend when she had a fight with her boyfriend 3) throwing lots of money around as well as actively trying to seduce her.

Is it like, a feather in their cap thing?  Because a fair amount of these guys disappeared after they got their jollies.  When I was young and stupid I did things like that because I thought I was (or actually was) in love, or I had been going through a supremely difficult time emotionally and was open to any sort of healing at all.


_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.
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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 6:06:37 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Are you talking about guys trying to fuck female friends?

If so, they do it because they're horny, and they may not know or care that the relationship could suffer damage.

And they're horny.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to VanIsleKnight)
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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 6:12:55 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline 		I knew a guy a couple years ago who continually went after his married female friend.... married with 4 kids, I might add.  And he'd go hang out with the both of them on the wkends.  But online, on the phone, when they were alone together, he constantly hit on her, and she loved it even though she tried to pretend she didn't.  I think she felt flattered.  They did end up having sex.  IMO, it shows extremely poor taste on BOTH their parts.   Her, for cheating on her husband/family.  Him, for not giving a shit about this girl's poor husband.  Just a complete lack of morals all the way around.

As for WHY this guy kept going after her.... I think it was for 3 reasons:
1.  like level just said, the guy was horny.  and lonely.
2.  it boosted his ego to think a girl would sneak around on her husband to be with him.
3.  he didn't want to be tied down, and felt like he was safe from commitment with someone who already had a husband and kids.

I'll add a fourth -- he was a complete jackass who cared about no one but himself.  Truly.

(in reply to Level)
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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 6:24:03 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Excellent post.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 6:28:56 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Because the word no.... in the "lifestyle" word... to Males... means...wait no.. that applies to nearly EVERY male on the planet... not just lifestyle...


OH FUCK GOD YES PLEASE PLEASE DO ME HARDER....

yeah... The no looking for anything but friends on my profile... gets me more mail, then... when i was actually looking...

I dont know why they do it... they just do, and are mostly morons because of it.

< Message edited by hopelessfool -- 9/1/2009 6:30:05 PM >

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" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 6:29:07 PM   
VanIsleKnight


Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline 		I'd have to agree with that.  I guess there isn't that much going on upstairs then is there? 




_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 6:33:23 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I actually had one slavegirl tell me that she left off her profile the fact that she was serving a Master because the got more men hitting on her if she stated that!

Maybe these men feel that the woman is "easier" if she's not single?

Maybe it's like dogs.  Ever see a dog ignore a toy and then suddenly want it and be willing to fight over it if another dog shows interest?


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 6:42:33 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		It's the thrill of the chase. That's been my experience. Men want what they can't have because they like the challenge, the cat and mouse game.

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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 6:44:39 PM   
HarderToBreathe2


Posts: 181
Status: offline
quote:

Maybe it's like dogs. Ever see a dog ignore a toy and then suddenly want it and be willing to fight over it if another dog shows interest?


EXCELLENT analogy!!

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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 7:04:31 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Humans are flawed. Men try to screw everything with a pulse, women chase after overly-romanticed ideals, or hook up with "bad boys". None of this is generally conducive to fruitful relationships, but then again, not everybody likes fruit.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to HarderToBreathe2)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 8:04:20 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm going with the forbidden fruit theory.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 8:43:04 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm going with the forbidden fruit theory.



Same here, mostly.  I will confess that once upon a time, a friend became a complete pain in the ass and started accusing me of having an affair with his wife.  After she and I took enough crap from him over it, we went ahead and had one just to even things out. 

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If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 8:51:16 PM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm going with the forbidden fruit theory.

I think you're right, I think it's primarily Oedipal.

K.



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 9:36:53 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight

I feel that because I'm a guy I should have -some- sort of idea as to why men go after women that they know is completely unavailable, yet they still do.  Why is this?  Why would a guy purposefully try to wreck a perfectly good relationship?

I know that some women do this too, but I was reviewing the past relationships of my friends online and off, and while most of the women did cheat, it was because a guy was pursuing them and either 1) trying to get into their pants via alcohol 2) sneaking into her pants by playing the close concerned friend when she had a fight with her boyfriend 3) throwing lots of money around as well as actively trying to seduce her.

Is it like, a feather in their cap thing?  Because a fair amount of these guys disappeared after they got their jollies.  When I was young and stupid I did things like that because I thought I was (or actually was) in love, or I had been going through a supremely difficult time emotionally and was open to any sort of healing at all.



Why would you wish to dwell or bother to understand the motivations of someone who's morals are less than slime? If you are going to analyze something. analyze something like what makes a relationship to be successfull. leave the slime to wallow in their pit of moral decay

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to VanIsleKnight)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question About Relationships - 9/1/2009 11:00:57 PM   
VanIsleKnight


Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49


quote:

ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight

I feel that because I'm a guy I should have -some- sort of idea as to why men go after women that they know is completely unavailable, yet they still do.  Why is this?  Why would a guy purposefully try to wreck a perfectly good relationship?

I know that some women do this too, but I was reviewing the past relationships of my friends online and off, and while most of the women did cheat, it was because a guy was pursuing them and either 1) trying to get into their pants via alcohol 2) sneaking into her pants by playing the close concerned friend when she had a fight with her boyfriend 3) throwing lots of money around as well as actively trying to seduce her.

Is it like, a feather in their cap thing?  Because a fair amount of these guys disappeared after they got their jollies.  When I was young and stupid I did things like that because I thought I was (or actually was) in love, or I had been going through a supremely difficult time emotionally and was open to any sort of healing at all.



Why would you wish to dwell or bother to understand the motivations of someone who's morals are less than slime? If you are going to analyze something. analyze something like what makes a relationship to be successfull. leave the slime to wallow in their pit of moral decay


For the same reasons that people analyze how things broke down to the point of world wars, The Depression, revolts, and things like that.  Learn from history and mistakes. :)

And I'm naturally curious, and knowledge never hurt anyone.

Except for that Russian woman at the end of Indiana Jones 4.


_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question About Relationships - 9/2/2009 1:57:55 AM   
dreamofthemoon


Posts: 10666
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight

Except for that Russian woman at the end of Indiana Jones 4.


"That Russian woman" was Irina Spalko, played by Cate Blanchett.

And i think i'm going with the forbidden fruit theory, as well.

_____________________________

dreamy

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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/2/2009 2:21:57 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		For some, it's because they want a good relationship without doing the work to achieve it. And they believe if they suddenly get to be with someone who is in a good, committed relationship that they won't have to learn to communicate, care about their partner etc. They can just occupy the space of the man in the relationship and magically the relationship will be great.

Of course, they wind up ruining the original relationship and can't accomplish it this time either.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Question About Relationships - 9/2/2009 3:13:43 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		from outside the arena of that- IMO  both sexes do and say things that make them less then ideal.

I see unrealistic acts by males- and also by females.  

People treat people like a used tissue.   One flaw and toss it.   The instant buzz is paramount. 

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question About Relationships - 9/2/2009 8:13:13 AM   
VanIsleKnight


Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamofthemoon

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight

Except for that Russian woman at the end of Indiana Jones 4.


"That Russian woman" was Irina Spalko, played by Cate Blanchett.

And i think i'm going with the forbidden fruit theory, as well.


That was Cate Blanchett?  Really?  Huh.  I must've had the same reaction when I saw the credits for the first time.  I only saw the movie in theaters once and never really looked back. >.>


_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

(in reply to dreamofthemoon)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question About Relationships - 9/2/2009 9:35:34 AM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		Yeah she immersed herself in German culture to perfect that Russian accent.

OP: Many reasons: Thrill of the chase, judging a housewife by the cover etc.

< Message edited by SL4V3M4YB3 -- 9/2/2009 9:39:11 AM >

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Memory Lane...been there done that.

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