Strap on Shoppping Spree

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kdoc -> Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 6:28:27 AM)
My Mistress has required me to obtain a strap on for her use on me and to research floggers. Can anyone help me in finding what the best strap ons would be and where to get one. Also, what do I look for in a flogger as i know there are different materials. How do I select the right one ?

Venatrix -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 7:20:52 AM)
I'm always amazed at "mistresses" who want their subs to research these things. She's in charge, no? Then she ought to know what kind of strap-on she wants. How would you know what would please her if she doesn't know? As for floggers, go to google.com, type the word "floggers" into the search bar, and commence your research from there. What kind should you get? Go back to your "mistress" and find out what she wants. You may not realise this, but threads started by sub men as a first post stating that a so-called mistress wants them to research kinky toys or play activities are ten a penny, and come off sounding like someone looking for wank fodder. A word to the wise, and all that.

allthatjaz -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 7:58:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix I'm always amazed at "mistresses" who want their subs to research these things. She's in charge, no? Then she ought to know what kind of strap-on she wants. How would you know what would please her if she doesn't know? As for floggers, go to google.com, type the word "floggers" into the search bar, and commence your research from there. What kind should you get? Go back to your "mistress" and find out what she wants. You may not realise this, but threads started by sub men as a first post stating that a so-called mistress wants them to research kinky toys or play activities are ten a penny, and come off sounding like someone looking for wank fodder. A word to the wise, and all that. Really? and now here was me thinking this was a perfectly valid question for a BDSM forum and this kind of 'ask' is no more ten a penny than anything else. Geez no wonder we don't get enough new blood round here! kdoc, you really need to ask Mistress what kind of flogger she prefers to use, unless of course she has pacifically asked you to buy the sort you would like used on your skin Buying online is sometimes an only option but the problem is that you can't feel the quality of the leather or the weight of the handle. Make sure to ask her if she prefers long or short. I love short floggers because I'm a small frame and a long flogger is just too heavy for me. The best sort of strap-on is again very personal but in my opinion it is hard to go wrong with a soft leather well made harness that has removable and different sized rings that will hold the dildo. I have never used an all in one harness and dildo but always go for removables that can be thoroughly cleaned. Make sure the straps are double sewn with metal eyelets and plenty of holes for pulling it on tight. Wearing a lose or over sized harness is uncomfortable and a waste of time. Just google BDSM floggers and strap-on and you will come up with plenty of options.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 8:01:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix I'm always amazed at "mistresses" who want their subs to research these things. She's in charge, no? Then she ought to know what kind of strap-on she wants. How would you know what would please her if she doesn't know? You're spot-on with the wanker observation, but here's some reasons I might have a sub research and purchase his own first strap on. 1. It's a single person toy that way; you aren't sharing, and you are responsible for your own cleanup when you take the thing home. 2. If I haven't fucked you up the ass before, then I don't know your capacity and what you can realistically take. So it may be deemed your responsibility to find a toy you can in fact take. The type of faux-pene that I'd purchase and keep for myself using my own hygenic standards would be something like a Feeldoe.

MistressEllen444 -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 8:05:19 AM)
Floggers, can't really go wrong and if you do, imagine the punishment - delicious. As for the strap-on, must be wank fodder or you have a Mistress who has never used one. Far too personal and so many are made of poor materials for the job, almost impossible to clean. Does not take one much experience to have a preference in that area.

Venatrix -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 9:39:27 AM)
My problem with the whole scenario of guys saying their mistress is dumping these personal decisions on them, is that she is, supposedly, in charge. I'm completely with you on the idea of not knowing what a new sub can or cannot take, but I determine it in consultation with them. I show them what I have (my dildos come in small, medium, and "door stop"), and if that doesn't suit their fancy, then they can go out and provide what seems suitable for their particular arsehole. I assume the OP knows his arsehole better than any of us posting on the boards, so I fail to see how we can be of much assistance. As to buying floggers, my advice is to buy as many different floggers as one can afford and try them out. I suspect that these, however, were not the answers that the OP was looking for.

LadyPact -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 11:00:16 AM)
Actually, I think you can go wrong when purchasing a flogger. There are a number of vendors out there that I wouldn't purchase from if I was looking to buy a toy for My cat. Also, there are variables to consider such as weight, length, and material that are going to make a difference. Like Maria said, the frame as well as the hand size of the person who is going to be using it come into play. In a sense, that person's experience level matter as well. There are certain floggers in My bag that I wouldn't put in the hand of an inexperienced top and I'd never use on a bottom that was just starting out. OK, OP. Now that I've said all of that, My best recommendation is to go shopping together. Purchasing toys for play is a fun experience. Almost as much as using them together.[:)]

stella41b -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 11:23:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact OK, OP. Now that I've said all of that, My best recommendation is to go shopping together. Purchasing toys for play is a fun experience. Almost as much as using them together.[:)] [/color] I was reading this thread thinking 'Why can't they do this together?' but LadyPact got here first.

MissDita -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 11:27:23 AM)
I'm also guessing your Mistress is kind of new. I think both a flogger and a strap-on or personal and every Mistress will like something different. I wouldn't buy a flogger of a strap-on without seeing and feeling the material, weight... just how it feels to hold it. Only than I can determine what I want. But if I would get it from a sub or have asked them to buy it, I would try it and make the best of it. So if She didn't give you any more specifications you can only try to choose something you think She might like. I think you need to have some experience to find the right one. Because to be honest, when I was new to all of this, I have bought some things that weren't practical at all. But you learn from mistakes. (If She has not much experience I would advice to buy a flogger with strings that aren't to long, and a handle that is not to heavy, with pretty soft leather strings. And for the strap-on, it's important that it can be fitted perfectly, otherwise it's useless, and you have to be able to clean it)

shadowowl -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 1:44:24 PM)
I've heard of a few Dommes asking the subs to pick the first strap on and I was asked my opinion in the matter for the first Domme that asked me. I mean I know what I can take she does not but personally I think it should be something discussed and purchased together. however nothing wrong with having the sub do all the research and present the Domme with the options to make the final decision. After all it is the subs job to make things easier for the Domme . :)

thishereboi -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 7:11:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kdoc My Mistress has required me to obtain a strap on for her use on me and to research floggers. Can anyone help me in finding what the best strap ons would be and where to get one. Also, what do I look for in a flogger as i know there are different materials. How do I select the right one ? Strap ons are very personal and vary in size. I would suggest your mistress go out and look at a few before deciding. I used to get my floggers at event sales and on ebay. Again there are many variaties so this is another one your mistress will have to help with. She is the only one who knows what she wants and needs.

DianeB269 -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 7:15:08 PM)
If I sent a sub out to buy a strapon, he would not need to ask anyone what kind to buy. I would of told him where to go and what to buy. Diane

kttqnp -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 9:17:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shadowowl I've heard of a few Dommes asking the subs to pick the first strap on and I was asked my opinion in the matter for the first Domme that asked me. I mean I know what I can take she does not but personally I think it should be something discussed and purchased together. however nothing wrong with having the sub do all the research and present the Domme with the options to make the final decision. After all it is the subs job to make things easier for the Domme . :) I asked a sub to do research before I bought my first strap on. He had experience with them; I did not. Made sense to me. He presented me with some options to choose from but I made the final decision.

MissCake -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/2/2009 10:16:32 PM)
The harness and the dongs are to be thought of in a separate manner. The harness belongs to me. The dongs belong to the one who gets it. I am very fond of the quality of harnesses made by Mr. S Leather. Stockroom is good also. You may also try Good Vibrations, an Toys in Babeland. I had to try a lot on until I found the perfect one.

malloves69 -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/3/2009 4:46:51 AM)
love mr s leather stuff too ecspecially their lube [:)] great for being fisted i must say [:)] my mistress loves value lock because they stay in place easily and come in decent sizes [:)] oh yes i do have my own bam strapon she used that on me too yesterday before she went out of town for labor day weekend [:)] we buy alot of stuff online ...she picks it out and i pay for it ...and she looks great wearing it i must say [:)] have fun mal ..if you love strapon play as much as we do try having her fist you next ..really takes strapon play to the next level i must say [:)] good day

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/3/2009 7:07:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix My problem with the whole scenario of guys saying their mistress is dumping these personal decisions on them, is that she is, supposedly, in charge. I dunno. Sometimes I need to eat dinner, but I don't really give a crap what it is as long as it meets my basic parameters of healthy eating. So I say to my boy, "Cook dinner". End of my instructions. I expect something hot and reasonably appetizing to be placed before me in short order. If I'm busy or not in the mood to discuss food choices, I won't even give him any input as to what I might want. He hates that. But that's his problem. I just want some food for a fuel-up and I don't want to be bothered messing around with the specifics. So I dump those on him, because I am in charge. Works for me.

Venatrix -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/3/2009 7:37:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix My problem with the whole scenario of guys saying their mistress is dumping these personal decisions on them, is that she is, supposedly, in charge. I dunno. Sometimes I need to eat dinner, but I don't really give a crap what it is as long as it meets my basic parameters of healthy eating. So I say to my boy, "Cook dinner". End of my instructions. I expect something hot and reasonably appetizing to be placed before me in short order. If I'm busy or not in the mood to discuss food choices, I won't even give him any input as to what I might want. He hates that. But that's his problem. I just want some food for a fuel-up and I don't want to be bothered messing around with the specifics. So I dump those on him, because I am in charge. Works for me. So, if I extrapolate correctly, you'd have no problem giving a sub vague instructions to find strap-ons and floggers, having him spend hundreds of dollars on toys that are not returnable, then telling him it's his problem if he gets it wrong? Sorry, but that doesn't sound dominant to me, that sounds like someone who's a bitch, and not a bitch in a good way.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/7/2009 8:54:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix So, if I extrapolate correctly, you'd have no problem giving a sub vague instructions to find strap-ons and floggers, having him spend hundreds of dollars on toys that are not returnable, then telling him it's his problem if he gets it wrong? Sorry, but that doesn't sound dominant to me, that sounds like someone who's a bitch, and not a bitch in a good way. Why is there an issue with trusting a partner's judgment about what toys are right for him? If I really don't have a strong preference and can be fine with anything he picks, then yes, it IS on him to buy what works well for him. If he pulls a stupid and buys a dildo that is way too big for him, then yeah, it's his problem to replace. I prefer to play with responsible adults who can make intelligent choices., so I doubt it would ever be an issue.

Venatrix -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/7/2009 9:10:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix So, if I extrapolate correctly, you'd have no problem giving a sub vague instructions to find strap-ons and floggers, having him spend hundreds of dollars on toys that are not returnable, then telling him it's his problem if he gets it wrong? Sorry, but that doesn't sound dominant to me, that sounds like someone who's a bitch, and not a bitch in a good way. Why is there an issue with trusting a partner's judgment about what toys are right for him? If I really don't have a strong preference and can be fine with anything he picks, then yes, it IS on him to buy what works well for him. If he pulls a stupid and buys a dildo that is way too big for him, then yeah, it's his problem to replace. I prefer to play with responsible adults who can make intelligent choices., so I doubt it would ever be an issue. That's not what we were discussing here. We were discussing what a dominant wants. By your own analogy above, regarding dinner, you stated that you expected your sub to fulfill your desire for tasty food, without your giving him any input as to what you want, then telling him it's his problem if he gets it wrong. When I extrapolated accordingly to the topic at hand, you came back with an answer that has nothing to do with that. I don't think anyone would argue that if he gets his own choices wrong, it's his fault. Duh.

blackpearl81 -> RE: Strap on Shoppping Spree (9/7/2009 9:21:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix That's not what we were discussing here. We were discussing what a dominant wants. By your own analogy above, regarding dinner, you stated that you expected your sub to fulfill your desire for tasty food, without your giving him any input as to what you want, then telling him it's his problem if he gets it wrong. When I extrapolated accordingly to the topic at hand, you came back with an answer that has nothing to do with that. I don't think anyone would argue that if he gets his own choices wrong, it's his fault. Duh. Eh. Not for nothing, but food preferences and dildo sizes are two monumentally different things. Food preferences are something that would (I would think, anyway) be learned pretty fast. Thus, he may not need to research what foods to prep, because, he already knows. Dildo sizes are wholly different. </.02 ¢>

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