quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Your post would have been better directed to LadyNTrainer.  I don't give my subs a task with only vague instructions as to what is required and then tell them it's their problem if they get it wrong, regardless of the circumstances. 

I am meeting a friend in London next month and I even told him exactly what weather I wanted for each of the days we are spending together. [:D]

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Yes, I'm well aware that food and dildos are two different things, thank you.

Edited to add:  I need to get off of the boards.  The level of intellectual conversation around here lately has been astonishingly mind-numbing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix
So, if I extrapolate correctly, you'd have no problem giving a sub vague instructions to find strap-ons and floggers, having him spend hundreds of dollars on toys that are not returnable, then telling him it's his problem if he gets it wrong?  Sorry, but that doesn't sound dominant to me, that sounds like someone who's a bitch, and not a bitch in a good way.

Why is there an issue with trusting a partner's judgment about what toys are right for him? If I really don't have a strong preference and can be fine with anything he picks, then yes, it IS on him to buy what works well for him. If he pulls a stupid and buys a dildo that is way too big for him, then yeah, it's his problem to replace. I prefer to play with responsible adults who can make intelligent choices., so I doubt it would ever be an issue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix
That's not what we were discussing here.  We were discussing what a dominant wants.  By your own analogy above, regarding dinner, you stated that you expected your sub to fulfill your desire for tasty food, without your giving him any input as to what you want, then telling him it's his problem if he gets it wrong.

quote:

When I extrapolated accordingly to the topic at hand, you came back with an answer that has nothing to do with that.  I don't think anyone would argue that if he gets his own choices wrong, it's his fault.  Duh.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
I can understand not worrying about the size of the dildo, but the strap on isn't going on him, it's going on you. Now if you don't have a problem with wearing a strap on that cuts into your legs or pinches your ass, then ya, he could probibly go out and pick up a strap on. But most women I know want their strapons to fit them and be comfortable.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix
That's not what we were discussing here.  We were discussing what a dominant wants.  By your own analogy above, regarding dinner, you stated that you expected your sub to fulfill your desire for tasty food, without your giving him any input as to what you want, then telling him it's his problem if he gets it wrong.

I eat more for nutritional stats than taste much of the time.  If I really don't have a preference other than the food matching my macronutrient ratio criteria and ideally being fresh and hot, it doesn't matter what he cooks as long as it's from the healthy ingredients I keep at home.  If he wasn't there to fix a high protein meal, I'd probably drink dinner from a blender.  He eats in the same ratios I do and is on the same workout schedule, so I don't think it's really possible for him to produce a "wrong" meal.  I guess it would be possible, but he'd have to try pretty hard to do it, and he'd have to go shopping to get the ingredients.  He doesn't eat crap food either, so neither of us have it around.

If I order him to fix dinner and I don't care what it is, other than fitting into our nutritional regimen, then it's my problem if I don't like it.  It's still his problem if he actually gets it wrong, but it's pretty hard to screw up basic protein + minimally cooked or raw vegetables.  If I'm bulking or having an evening workout, add brown rice or raw oats or sweet potato other starchy carb source, otherwise cut the carbs after 4PM.  If dinner meets these criteria, it is fine.  Taste isn't a huge factor.  If it is cooked hot and fresh it will be very tasty in comparison to what I would otherwise be having.  I have been known to toss a can of tuna and a scoop of raw oats in the blender for dinner if my sub isn't around.  Surprisingly this can be made quite bearable if you add sugar free lemonade or sugar free apple cider mix.  But it isn't tasty. 

quote:

When I extrapolated accordingly to the topic at hand, you came back with an answer that has nothing to do with that.  I don't think anyone would argue that if he gets his own choices wrong, it's his fault.  Duh.

I think you have this idea that I'm willing to set him the task of guessing my whims rather than trusting him to make intelligent choices as a functioning adult that are based on hard-fact logical criteria, like "what is an acceptable meal" or "what size and shape does a strap-on have to be in order to comfortably fit up my ass."  I don't really have much in the way of personal whims on either subject, and I appreciate being able to trust my competent adult partners to make rational choices within my acceptable parameter range.  I will educate them clearly on those parameters, but I'm not willing to micromanage.

A good example would be ordering a slave to scramble me four egg whites and one whole egg, and having him pick up the egg carton and ask, "But which five eggs should I scramble, Mistress?"  Augh.  That would be a deal-breaker.  Likewise, I expect my subs to make good choices in their personal hygiene and toiletry habits, but I have zero interest in controlling where they can go pee-pee or how they wipe themselves or how often they wash their ass.  Not my kink.  I want an adult partner, not a toddler who needs their hand held for toilet training.  I would rather trust them to manage those things in their own lives, and I expect the end results to be acceptable and pleasing to me.  I will make my personal parameters clear, and after that I expect them to make intelligent choices within those parameters.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
I think this might be part of the problem. You see a strap on does not go up his ass. You wear it and attach dildos to it. The dildos go up his ass. My ex got a strap on that did not fit her and she ended up selling it to someone. Had she not found someone else who wanted it, she would have been screwed out of the $100 dollars she had paid for it, because most places won't let you return a strap on.

quote:

As to your eating habits, yes most partners know what the other one likes to eat, but as V pointed out, that really doesn't have anything to do with this situation.