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RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 4:55:19 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
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quote:

SPEAKING of which, I'd like to see more feed-back from tops/Doms. Do y'all see a need for new terms or am I the only one that sees that new terms might be helpful?

Guess you are the only one.



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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:02:22 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		IrishMist:  You are absolutely right.  And that's why my suggestion should be accompanied by written defitions for the new terms.  Would you care to sit on the committee to define the new terms? LOL (I get your point.)

Seriously, I'm thinking of  new WORDS - the Goreans seem to have done a fine job of defining new terms/words.

Gotta get to "real work" folks.  I appreciate all your comments (so far.)

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:04:12 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		You know this thread reminds me of a song that you may want to consider before deciding that you know OF someone based on a label -- its call getting to know you, getting to know all about you. Getting to like you and hope you like me....

Trying to narrow down things so you as an individual presume you KNOW someone is like thinking you know what a book is all about simply because its in a criminal mystery or romance genre. Sometimes you can label things too narrowly and you miss the essence of what the generality is and how that generality can become or has potential or on the very basic level IS what you are looking for but because you are so concerned with narrowing down things to a minute point of identity so you don't have to take time to get to know someone, you will miss the forest for the trees.

Perhaps if you are looking for service -- you may want to simply hire someone to do what you want them to do as when you hire someone there is a very tunnelvision of what they are offering you without the expectation from you of anything other than you pay them in some way. Because last i checked people were three dimensional, not one dimensional and it was all complexy and integrated through a maze of connectivity of all facits of themselves- not just one concept.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 9/3/2009 5:11:45 AM >

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(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:06:05 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

IrishMist:  You are absolutely right.  And that's why my suggestion should be accompanied by written defitions for the new terms.  Would you care to sit on the committee to define the new terms? LOL (I get your point.)

Seriously, I'm thinking of  new WORDS - the Goreans seem to have done a fine job of defining new terms/words.
Gotta get to "real work" folks.  I appreciate all your comments (so far.)

No offense ( though I know this is going to offend quite a few ) but those who identify as Gorean do not bother to 'redefine' words to suit their own agenda. Their idea of what a slave is, what a submissive is, etc etc is very black and white with no room for discussion or 'redefining'.

LOL
Thanks for not taking offense at my snarkiness...

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RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:07:16 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Goreans have defined new words and terms? Ummm we have? Last i checked we simply use Free and slave. These words are as old as time and if you get to KNOW people you will see the vast concepts that are part of Free and part of slave that exist in the relationship between Gorean Free and the M/s relationship between a Gorean Free Man and his slave.

So last i checked unless you are talking about the very specific slave types in the books - even those consist of various duties that would overlap types, you will find in actuality and reality in the end a slave is simply a slave no matter what she is used for

- its not often in the actuality that a Man takes a certain TYPE of slave i.e., kettle and mat, pleasure, tower etc but they are all integrated to a Man's whim for his slave.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 9/3/2009 5:10:57 AM >

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:08:57 AM   
IrishMist


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quote:

and reality in the end a slave is simply a slave no matter what she is used for.

Dayum but that sure does make a person feel all warm and cuddly inside

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:10:00 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		grins at Irish and its so blasted simple!

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:12:24 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		barelynangel:  I saw your post (a couple back) as I signed off, and decided that I would like to answer..... How do I get the blankety-blank do-me-bottoms to do EXACTLY what you suggest?

I'll hi-jack my own string:  How do we ALL get people to read OUR profiles?  How do we get OTHERS to find out a little about us FIRST?  I'm sick-n-tired of people like the "applicant" above just shooting before aiming.  READY, SHOOT, AIM  seems to be the approach of too many here....... But wait, Lance.  You are fond of saying "Half the people are below average, no matter what the metric."  And on that note: "Say g'nite, Gracie."

As to the Gorean terms: that's what I meant: they have differnt terms for different TYPES of slaves.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 9/3/2009 5:16:15 AM >

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RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:16:23 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

barelynangel:  I saw your last post as I signed off, and decided that I would like to answer..... How do I get the blankety-blank do-me-bottoms to do EXACTLY what you suggest?

I'll hi-jack my own string:  How do we ALL get people to read OUR profiles?  How do we get OTHERS to find out a little about us FIRST? I'm sick-n-tired of people like the "applicant" above just shooting before aiming.  READY, SHOOT, AIM  seems to be the approach of too many here....... But wait, Lance.  You are fond of saying "Half the people are below average, no matter what the metric."  And on that note: "Say g'nite, Gracie."

That's the easy part.

Stop looking for people to fill a 'role' and instead look for people who interest you...as in relationship wise.

So many times people make this out to be harder than it actually is. You are a person first; a human being...act like one and you will attract others who want that AND what you can bring to a relationship.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:18:30 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

As to the Gorean terms: that's what I meant: they have differnt terms for different TYPES of slaves.

You missed an important part of what Miss Angel said...
quote:

but they are all integrated to a Man's whim for his slave.

It's the man who defines his girl

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:18:56 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Well, i don't answer the whines about what people do with profiles, its a bloody advertisement lol. You don't like what someone says to you DELETE and BLOCK works wonders. Whining about people not reading your profile and stamping your foot because people aren't doing what you want them to is just silly on a site like this. You are putting way to much energy in caring and you will spend a lot less energy by simply deleting and blocking when you read a response that you aren't interested in anymore. My post was based on what YOU are doing, you can only control what YOU do. I am answering YOUR post as to what YOU are doing. Maybe that's what you should concentrate on cause i hate to burst your bubble but you will never control the masses, and so you can only determine how you will handle things.


Yes in the BOOKS they have different types of slaves however most Goreans who LIVE Gorean and the Men who choose to own a slave rarely, in all my years of knowing same, do they actually identify their slaves as the TYPES you see in the books and hold to that very specific identification - most Gorean's slaves are mutts so to speak, they obey and live by the determination of their Masters not by a label of a slave. Even the slaves in the BOOKS had integrated duties of TYPES of slaves.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 9/3/2009 5:21:31 AM >

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:21:03 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Irish:  Did you read the part that started this all?  He approached ME looking to be done.

And please don't say things like "You are a person first; a human being...act like one and you will attract others...." That'd be SO easy to take as the start of a flame-war.  I know you meant it as a general comment, and I took it as such.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:23:41 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Yep.  I care.  Sometimes to a fault.  I am NOT going to change that.  I will take the suggestions to block and delete, however.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:24:53 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

And please don't say things like "You are a person first; a human being...act like one and you will attract others...." That'd be SO easy to take as the start of a flame-war. I know you meant it as a general comment, and I took it as such.

but it needs to be said sometimes because that is where the biggest issues usually arise from.

An example
Dominant looking for slave ( insert usual that is seen on profile side )

Yet, most forget to put in that they are caring, romantic, have hobbies that they want to share, etc etc

Then, they complain when all they get in response is the 'do me' ones who don't understand what is being sought.

Relationships are relationships. Just because you add a bit of 'kink' in does not make them less of a relationship ( and I use the word kink here in a general sense, not as a put down )

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RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:26:26 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		If you choose to waste your time caring and trying to control what others do then you really shouldn't bitch and whine when you decide people have wasted your time. You can't have it both ways. You can choose to waste your time caring what oothers do and then whine when people waste your time just not in a way you wanted them too.

Hope that makes sense.

angel

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:30:31 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		barelynangel: yes, it does.  Thanks

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:42:40 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

I'll hi-jack my own string:  How do we ALL get people to read OUR profiles?  How do we get OTHERS to find out a little about us FIRST?


You can't.  We as a society are trying to get others to not take drugs, not kill each other.... If people are such dumbasses that they can't figure out their chances of making a connection are MUCH improved when they contact someone compatible... like the saying goes, you can lead a whore to a wawa but you can't make her suck.

Your conversation clip showed a bi sub who self identified as straight.  The problem there was too many boxes for him to deal with.  Defining seventy eight new subcategories of slave and sub will make his problem worse.

There are too many variants for me to handle.  I have seen women that claim to be bi, but for one reason or another only seek woman.  I've seen woman claim to be switch, but are submissive to one and Domme all others.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:44:21 AM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		1) No-one wastes my time ... from my view if someone doesn't read my profile they are wasting THEIR time.
2) I wholehearted agree with poster IrishMist. I am a Human Being; I am a part of the Human Race. If I do not care for my slaves I would probably be a pretty bad Master.
3) I to have hobbies, interests, and dreams that exist outside of managing that slave. If I did not I would probably be a very very boring person.
4) My slaves have hobbies, interests, and dreams too. I know they will keep the slave sane during times I might be not feeling well, in the hospital, or at some future point have passed a-way because life ends with death.

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 5:50:36 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Something else comes to mind about this subject on using terms to define ourselves. People don't always see themselves as they are. The Do-Me sub/bottom may 'think' he is a service slave and check off the description in his profile and then you'll spend more time and energy finding out that he really isn't interested at all in serving you but wants his laundry list of desires fulfilled...by you. He really may see himself as a service slave because the idea turns him on, not because he truly wants to do it.

Much of the frustration on a site like this comes from those people who say they identify as one thing but are truly another once you get to know them. Many of the members here will try to specify exactly what they are looking for and then they expect anyone who contacts them to more or less fit their description....not so. That person who answers may THINK they fit your description but in reality can be far from it. It seems like putting a label on something will define it but whenever you are dealing with human beings it is never as precise or easy as that. Which is what the other posters were saying as well lol.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: New terms for our BDSM community - 9/3/2009 6:38:43 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I think the terms you've already said are just fine. Simply asking someone if they are a service slave or a sexual slave (pleasure slave?) might do the trick for you and cut down on time to boot.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 40
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