RE: Online "Friends"

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Online "Friends"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Online "Friends"

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Online "Friends" - 9/4/2009 6:07:46 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I don't find it strange. I just ignore it. I don't do "online friends". Friends for me are people I know in real life and I have a platonic relationship with them. If I've never met you, tend to not get together with you on occasional basis, hang out together in person...then we're just acquaintances or mere strangers.

(in reply to stella41b)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Online "Friends" - 9/4/2009 6:37:37 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

With regard to the OP yes I also find it strange.

My view of friendship was formed from my years of living in Poland and I have adopted the same attitudes towards friendships as people all over Eastern Europe. This is strongly rooted in my mindset and I refuse to change it or to go back to the way things were.

It's best explained by explaining the three Polish words for 'friend' which show my different levels of friendship.

First there's znajomy which basically means 'acquaintance'. The word 'znajomy' comes from the Polish verb 'znać' meaning to know (a person or place) and virtually anyone can strike up such a friendship with me - as long as there is some basic interaction and 'getting to know' each other. This can be over a few days, a few weeks, months or even years and almost all of those you find on my online friends here and elsewhere conform to this standard. These include people who have reached out to me from posts here or who I have reached out to them, we have corresponded, and there has been some interaction and as such, I don't have an issue about regarding such people as 'friends'.

Then there's kolega (male) and koleżanka (female) which means 'close friend' where there's some more depth to our interaction, and there's also a definite commitment to this sort of friendship. These are people I am open with about my thoughts, my feelings, my life, as they are with me, these are people I meet with, people who get priority, people I trust, basically it's the same as our traditional concept of 'friend'. Very few people get to be close friends and they are in the minority when it comes to online friends.

Then there's przyjaciel/przyjaciolka which to me means 'intimate friend' and which is basically what Eastern Europeans regard as that space between friendship and a committed relationship - but it's different from 'friends with benefits' and 'fuck buddy' - I would guess that an established play partner or secondary relationship would be closest. This is usually, but not always, one person with whom I am developing a relationship and we're at the stage where the terms 'friendship' and 'relationship' are largely interchangeable.

Being approached by someone out of the blue here (or on similar sites) looking for 'friendship' is what I assume to be a highly inappropriate attempt at the 'przyjaciel' type of friendship and I respond accordingly - I ignore.

The currency of my friendship is interaction. No interaction = no friendship. End of.

< Message edited by stella41b -- 9/4/2009 6:39:25 PM >

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to susie)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Online "Friends" - 9/4/2009 6:51:09 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Stella, I actually like that distinction quite a bit. It's rather close to My personal separation in the difference between friend and acquaintance with more clarification.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to stella41b)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Online "Friends" - 9/4/2009 7:00:19 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I pretty much view online friendships as the 21st century version of pen pals most of us are quite familiar with when we were in grade school. Most often, we had a pen pal friend which many years pass before we meet or if we ever do. To have a person blindly request a friendship online I find suspicious and wonder about the motivation. Many whom I befriended here and elsewhere are ones who I have interacted in some form tot he extent that either myself or the other person asked to add me as a friend. A few wee the exception yet we had gotten to know about each other after the friendship was accepted. I haven't just asked to be a friend to anyone unless I felt comfortable about doing so and know for certain that there is a mutual respect and a mutual sense of comfortability with each other first. Maybe I am overly polite as the majority of the time I will concede to the other person making the request first.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Online "Friends" - 9/4/2009 8:47:36 PM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLost

I believe another reason for making the friends list crowded is to be able to attract the opposite sex. Yes, it is of course about popularity, but also a "See? These pretty women are friends of mine, I must be someone that's not abstained from!"

Wouldn't it have the opposite effect? It repulses me. When I see a bunch of pretty women on the profile of some dominant who has written me I think "what a shallow player, he clearly doesn't need/want someone like me, he's got them" and I make sure I have nothing do with him.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to SirLost)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Online "Friends" - 9/4/2009 11:16:26 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

Does anyone else find it strange when they get an out of the blue friendship request from someone they have had no contact with.

i just decline the requests and give it no thought. my friends are people i speak with outside of collarme and some i'm very close to real time. when i returned i brought them all with me and they've had their own share of experiences while here. i just don't take it all that seriously. but then i'm not the facebook/myspace type either. when i consider the concept of friendship, online or otherwise. that person has done something to warrant the title outside of sending a request on an adult social engineering website.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to susie)

Profile

Post #: 26