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How to Meet - 9/4/2009 3:45:02 AM

bobsreturn

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/19/2009
Status: offline

Good Morning, I have had a few issues on meeting Dommes on this site.i am wondering what the best way is to approach a Domme without sounding rude or disrespectful.Thanks

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 4:55:59 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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How woiuld you approach a women in real life without sounding rude or disrespectful? It's pretty much the same online. I would also suggest reading their profile closely. A lot of women put right in their profile, how they want to be addressed. Good luck in your search.

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 6:47:59 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

To add to what thishereboi suggested, if you can send them a mail that responds to something in either their profile or a post in a collarme forum, you'll have a very good chance at a reply.

"I notice that you state that you are a beginner at fishing. I've been a fisherman for seven years and would be happy to discuss that with you, including suggestions on the better lakes locally to fish."

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to thishereboi)

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 6:53:49 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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Ledgers rather than floats and never a hook bigger than size 12. And don't forget the unused maggots afterwards so that they turn into bluebottles.

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 8:29:14 AM

MmeRegineSybille

Posts: 36
Joined: 9/4/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bobsreturn

Good Morning, I have had a few issues on meeting Dommes on this site.i am wondering what the best way is to approach a Domme without sounding rude or disrespectful.Thanks

Honourably and rarely.

(in reply to bobsreturn)

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 10:35:48 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Dont approach a Domme about fishing. Most cant even bait their own hooks. Drop them a line and be polite. Introduce yourself and tell them something about you. If they give you their address then send them some flowers. Giggles

(in reply to MmeRegineSybille)

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 10:59:38 AM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

FR, after read thru

*snicker*

Fishing. Heh . . . . .

Anyways, OP, there's an excellent thread that'll give you a decent grounding on how to make best use of CM:

For men: how to find a woman here

& I recommend making some use of the 'search' features here on CollarChat, as many subjects have been hashed over endlessly . . . . .

& then, yeah, dating is dating, mate-finding is mate-finding, wherever & under whatever circumstances . . . . . It takes time, energy, risk, patience, & vulnerability, & there are no guarantees . . . . . . One gets out of the process what one puts into it.

Best wishes, & may you find what you seek . . . . . .

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 11:03:02 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Dont approach a Domme about fishing. Most cant even bait their own hooks. Drop them a line and be polite. Introduce yourself and tell them something about you. If they give you their address then send them some flowers. Giggles

I can too!!! AND, I actually like to fish! So there! THBBBBTTTT!!!

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 11:59:49 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

FR:
Why not just strike up a conversation? Is that so old fashioned?

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 5:00:53 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Dont approach a Domme about fishing. Most cant even bait their own hooks. Drop them a line and be polite. Introduce yourself and tell them something about you. If they give you their address then send them some flowers. Giggles

I can too!!! AND, I actually like to fish! So there! THBBBBTTTT!!!

Is a Mistress Baiter anything like a Master Baiter?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 5:10:10 PM

tornaway

Posts: 174
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline

Naturally , I can only answer for myself. But I am most likely to respond to those who have actually read my profile . That way they fully understand what information I would like included in a first contact . That is of course , if they wish to be seriously considered !

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 5:11:55 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

Hello Good Lady, how is one doing today???

WHAT WOMEN ARE REAL HOLY SHI----

I was a master baiter at one time on the docks of point judith. .25 cents a string of stinky stingrays

I am sure the ladies find this attractive.

Be yourself.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: How to Meet - 9/4/2009 8:41:58 PM

SthrnCom4t

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

I find a high heel dangling off My foot has worked well in the past....but then, I was fishing for something a bit more masculine.

Seriously though...attempt at establishing some connection/common ground, that doesn't revolve around your kink. If her profile mentions things you like, eventually you'll get around to that subject. In order to be interested in a relationship, most women would like to know you can hold a decent conversation.

As a personal pet peeve, spelling, grammar and punctuation go a long way. Also, if I receive a letter; long or short, that isn't personalized to me in some way, I generally feel no compunction about ignoring it.

Good luck!

(for a bit of humor, go to wimp.com and search for "world's best husband".....a minute of cute/sad video humor)

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Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

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RE: How to Meet - 9/5/2009 2:01:56 AM

MsMillgrove

Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline

I get a lot of mail that says basically, "I live near you. so you want to come over and spank my gorgeous butt?"

Very few letters on CM ask me decent questions about myself. What do I write or what kind of flowers am I talking to? and No one ever asks.. "what's your favorite book or what have you read lately?" Most writers are voracious readers. The query seems pretty obvious to me, but so far 1000 CM men have not asked me that easy question. I even added the photo of the rose to my profile as a hint for those writing and one person was smart enough to ask me, "did you grow that rose?" I wish he didn't live on the other side of the country. That guy can write a letter! One guy here.

Here's the top question: What do you want in a sub? oh god please. this makes me weep by now. I don't want "a sub". I want to get to know a person and see if that person and I would make a match. a real person. maybe you. not "a sub". Half the men here who identify as subs are infatuated with the "idea" of submission, they like to submit in play, when they are tied up. They describe this as being alpa male but very submissive behind closed doors. This is not the femdom idea of a submissive male. We want males who might be alpha out in the world, but is Always submissive to us, not just in the bedroom. I wrote a list of words that explains what traits I want. Chances are good that the man who is writing doesn't even understand my definition of a submissive male. I bet all the other dommes get the same mail. What do you want in a sub. and a description of the writer's kinks list always qualified by, "but of course it's Your Way." Who's kidding who here?

And that's really the key as suggested above. READ the profile, read the lady's past posts--a wealth of info about her. See where you do match in interests. Make a suggestion based on one of her interests, that's not pushy, just gentle. If they say they're a dining expert, and you are too, ask their opinon of a local restaurant. Few write the personal letter to me. They write introductions of themselves, how they got started in kink, what their mother was like, how long they've been divorced.
My profile says my turn on is laughter and my turn off is "all about me".

Nearly every mail is all about the guy writing the letter and I am seldom laughing when I finish it.

(in reply to SthrnCom4t)

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