SilentSpark
Posts: 36
Joined: 8/16/2009
Status: offline
|
well, thank you for all the replies~
1, as I explained before submission is something very private for me, and I don't want to broadcast it online about what I will do for my future partner. And I understand that might give people the impression that I asked for a lot but give nothing in return. I have no intention to correct such impression though.
2, As for compromise, well, my passion is with design. But I AM prepared to stay home and freelance full time if situation requires, and with the right person. I love drawing, that's the core of my passion, that's something I won't compromise no matter what. If there's a dom asking me not to draw, then the only thing I can say is: Good bye and good luck. That's the bottom line no one can cross, if I'm not drawing, I'm dead. it's that simple. As long as I'm allowed to draw something everyday, post my work and communicate with my artists friends, and freelance, I am willing to compromise for the RIGHT person.
It has nothing to do with submission really, it still, has everything to do with supporting your partner when he needed the most. If a sub is forced into giving up something she's really passionate about, instead of willingly give up, I don't think she'd be happy in such relationship. If it is "willingly giving up", then it is not really control, is it?
So for the situation some people described, say my dream company in Boston ask me to work for them, and that conflict with my partner's work or family needs, and there's no way we can reach a compromise that makes everyone happy. My answer to that question is, as long as we're financially secured, I'm willing to make that compromise and stay home or find a local job. But the key word is "THE RIGHT PERSON". I'm not going to make that kind of compromise just for everyone.
3, Personally, I don't believe in TPE. I don't believe that such thing exist in modern consensual DS relationship, even if there is, I certainly can't see myself in it. I believe in choice. every step of the way, you make choices to obey or disobey. the choice always lays with sub (with everyone for that matter). And eventually, it's not the dom who'd take responsibility for the sub, but the sub herself. I take responsibility for my action, that's why I can not rely on other people to make that decision for me. He can make a decision, and I can agree or disagree, obey or disobey. Submission means, I choose to obey. Control is but an illusion of choice. That's the fundamental difference I had with this lifestyle that drove me away 2 years ago. So those of you who believe you're the "true slave" or whatever, please do wake up, you control your own body, your own action, and choices.
Slavery in its true historical context needs a lot more than just a dom and a willing sub to fulfill. One example, if a slave runs away back in 18th century, his master can capture him and kill him on the spot ( although it would be sort of a waste of money...), if a "slave" are not happy now, she whines online, she talks to her master, she goes to support group, she make compromise, her master make compromise... if things doesn't work out, she removes her collar and say good bye. If her master end up killing her on the spot, he probably would end up in jail. That's the difference.
This is 21 century and we're practicing consensual DS in real life. So there'll be times when dom and sub have to sit together as equal and discuss life problems. DS is a lifestyle, sure, but I don't see the point in pretending that subs "don't have a choice but to obey" and make it sound like "this is a true slave supposed to be".
So for me, I always have option, I always have choice. with the career, it boils down to "what is more important for me, my career or my relationship, what will give me most happiness and fulfillment? my career or my relationship" I want to be happy, if career makes me happy, i'll go take that position in Boston; If being with my partner makes me happy, then I'll stay. see here, I don't really think like the usual sub, obey or disobey, what will make my master happy, what will pleases him more~ LOL no... I think like an independent individual, and I'll always think like that.
So i guess for my life, I don't see why I need to give up that control to anyone, simply because the same way I can't give my arm to anyone or no one can breath for me, it always lays with me. Control is always mine.
----
and I know, people will come and say "you're not a sub, you don't understand what is true submission" or something like that. LOL~ go ahead.
< Message edited by SilentSpark -- 9/8/2009 1:30:38 PM >
|
RE: Ego, career and being a sub - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread