Do you seperate BDSM from sex?

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[Poll]

Do you seperate BDSM from sex?

If you're gonna spank my ass; You damn well better be tapping it

26% (17)

All that effort in planning this scene, damn straight I'm getting some

15% (10)

torture for hours and sending me home with no gratification is great

4% (3)

I dont need to get off, play time is plenty fun with out sex

52% (33)

Total Votes : 63

(last vote on : 4/8/2011 3:56:12 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 3:40:19 AM

myself1168

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/10/2008
Status: offline

Ok so here's the basics of the poll.....NO... I said poll not my pole!

There are going to be answers relevant to Dom, or sub....no I didn not leave out Owners and slaves I've simply lumped them together. For switches or alpha subs you can select all relevant answers.

Can you have BDSM with out sex?

Post #: 1

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 4:35:10 AM

daintydimples

Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

Can you have BDSM with out sex?

Yes. I have a male submissive I don't have sex with. Although the relationship has sexual components to it, it's about power, not sex.

_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

(in reply to myself1168)

Post #: 2

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 4:39:20 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

None of those answers is applicable. Play can be enjoyed with or without sex, they are seperate issues but are oft enjoyed together.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to daintydimples)

Post #: 3

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 4:46:45 AM

VanIsleKnight

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline

I wouldn't be able to have a total BDSM relationship without sex or sexuality. I understand and anticipate that occasionally there will be no sexual gratification on my end, and that's completely fine. If all I wanted to do was experience an orgasm, I'd masturbate. BDSM to me is a variety of things. A sexual kink, a form of expressing my admiration, adoration, and affection, an interesting and entertaining spice to life. :)

_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 4

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 4:47:56 AM

TurboJugend

Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline

I like the question...but I can't find the answer I had in mind in the poll.

I don't need sex in bdsm..but as the Dom..I always want to be able to decide if it happens or not.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 5

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 4:58:16 AM

gentlemanprince

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline

Sure, I can separate them, but I wouldn't want to be in a D/s relationship in which I needed to do so.

(in reply to TurboJugend)

Post #: 6

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 5:02:55 AM

myself1168

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/10/2008
Status: offline

yes I did awful with the answers lol suggestions and I can try to change them, but its a short box to be able to type in.

(in reply to gentlemanprince)

Post #: 7

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 6:20:05 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Absolutely I can. I don't have sex with My casual play partners in a top/bottom scenario. I even have that line included in My profile. If it's just going to be S/m play, it isn't going to include physical sex.

My collared submissive may or may not get a sexual release during a scene. That depends on a few factors.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to myself1168)

Post #: 8

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:05:22 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

People can and will do anything you think of. Most public arenas don't allow penetrative sex.

We however see little reason not to have it all unless I'm sitting in the car, hands and feet tied. If we're in private, sex is definitely part of it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 9

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:21:49 AM

naughtysubK

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/2/2004
Status: offline

None of the answers in the poll were applicable to me. As a submissive, I am not in a position to say "if you are spanking my ass, you better be tapping it.' But I do prefer after, during, or even before play. I love sex with my Dominant. But there are times when he denies me, and that's OK too. I know my frustration amuses him.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:36:21 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

For me it all depends on the energy with the particular person. I am VERY picky about who touches me. Especially in a sexual way. I am much less picky about whom I torture. In fact, the less attracted to them I am, the more sadistic I can be.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to myself1168)

Post #: 11

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:45:04 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

So I'm, a fuckin' shoe-in, huh?

LOL LT,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 12

RE: Do you separate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:45:12 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Can you have BDSM with out sex?

I am 'having sex' when I engage in BDSM. BDSM, for me, IS sex.

Now if you want to change it to amend the question to ask is orgasm required, then the answer would be not necessarily, but it's a likely outcome at some point.

(in reply to myself1168)

Post #: 13

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:47:44 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

I'm the opposite of laTigress there.

The more I like you, the more I want to fuck with you. Friends and lovers both.

Politeness and civility are reserved for people I don't like, don't trust or don't want.

Also, pity kills the sadistic streak in me. If I feel sorry for you, then no matter how much you want it I won't stomp you. Unless you're really irritating too. But for me, dealing with aggravation is not the same as sadism.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 14

RE: Do you separate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:47:57 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I won't deny that S/m is sex for Me, but there is a difference between that and what many people understand as physical sex.

I'm sorry to inform the male tops out there. We female tops can be sexually stimulated and even orgasm right in the middle of a scene, without anyone ever knowing it. Well, until it's time for after care and the boy has his head laid in My lap. HA!

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 15

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:52:35 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

*cringes away from the tiger* If i am in a scene where my Sir allows me to subspace, then i prefer no sex - i find it a distraction.(not that this has ever stopped my Sir from doing anything he wants

)
Otherwise penetration, hitachi wand and so on is great fun ... i mean ............ is tolerated because my Sir enjoys it.

Please don't give me sexual pleasure B'eur Fox - no, no - anything but that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 16

RE: Do you separate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:54:53 AM

MissGBsugar4u

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

In public play with a sub,I do not engage in anything sexual. But in my private play thats another matter. I am a Sensual Domme, and a sub better expect to lic, suck and be fucked then or Im not the Domme for them.

Miss Colleen.........Play Safe, Sane, and Consensually

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 17

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:57:36 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I have a female submissive playpartner, and neither of us is interested in each other sexually or romantically, though we're friends and enjoy hanging out outside of scene time. My relationship with my Master is definitely sexual.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 18

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:59:13 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Can you have BDSM with out sex?

Your questions are curious..... for me, sex is an integral part of BDSM. That's not so much about "getting off" - sex is a biological function, and providing it is one of the sub/slave's involuntary functions.

(in reply to myself1168)

Post #: 19

RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 8:18:58 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myself1168

Can you have BDSM with out sex?

i don't draw a distinction between the two. in my mind both are acts that are meant to bring about a pleasurable state for both participants. how we go about getting may involve penetration, pain, or something in between. i understand the separation you're speaking of, but i utilize it in a different manner. which doesn't apply to the topic at hand.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to myself1168)

Post #: 20

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