Own Worst Enemy

Own Worst Enemy (Full Version)

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angelic -> Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 10:12:34 AM)
i have in the past week been exchanging e-mails with a very nice Man. (Luckily i don't think He reads the forums or He will know i'm speaking of Him and might stop talking to me). He seems very real, kind and hasn't asked 'how long have you been in the lifestyle' (an immediate turn off for me). Here's the problem. How do i STOP reading His e-mails and wondering to myself, is He real, is He who He says He is, is this just a wanker wanting to trick me? Worse yet, i have caught myself wondering if He is my 'x' trying to find out what i may or may not say about him (the 'x' has done that before). There are other issues that will need to be faced if this goes anywhere at all. my question is, for Tthose that may have gone through the similar thought processes, how did Yyou overcome them? Can they be overcome? Am i being unfair to Him? (lol ok more than one question here).

SweetDommes -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 10:16:56 AM)
First of all, I would be honest with him - tell him that you have been burned many times before, and you are having some paranoia ... that it's nothing personal against him, but it is something he needs to know about. Second - try to think positive. I know it's not easy, but if things are going well, and you aren't catching any signs of trickery ... perhaps there aren't any there and you can relax a bit on trying to spot them. I don't know if you are being unfair to him in your thoughts or not, not knowing what has gone on between the two of you so far, but you can't help how you are feeling, so it's not like you are doing it intentionally. However, bringing it here, and making the comment that you hope he doesn't read it or he might stop talking to you - I feel that is unfair to him. You need to talk to him about it.

angelic -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 10:22:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetDommes First of all, I would be honest with him - tell him that you have been burned many times before, and you are having some paranoia ... that it's nothing personal against him, but it is something he needs to know about. Second - try to think positive. I know it's not easy, but if things are going well, and you aren't catching any signs of trickery ... perhaps there aren't any there and you can relax a bit on trying to spot them. I don't know if you are being unfair to him in your thoughts or not, not knowing what has gone on between the two of you so far, but you can't help how you are feeling, so it's not like you are doing it intentionally. However, bringing it here, and making the comment that you hope he doesn't read it or he might stop talking to you - I feel that is unfair to him. You need to talk to him about it. very good point Ma'am... He, so far, deserves better. He is aware of my trust issues as i don't hide them. i brought it here in hopes of hearing how others may have worked through them.

Aileen68 -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 10:26:12 AM)
Get on the phone and talk to him. That will answer some of your questions right off the bat.

angelic -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 10:28:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Get on the phone and talk to him. That will answer some of your questions right off the bat. Wwe haven't exchanged phone numbers, yet.

kyraofMists -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 10:28:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic Here's the problem. How do i STOP reading His e-mails and wondering to myself, is He real, is He who He says He is, is this just a wanker wanting to trick me? Worse yet, i have caught myself wondering if He is my 'x' trying to find out what i may or may not say about him (the 'x' has done that before). There are other issues that will need to be faced if this goes anywhere at all. my question is, for Tthose that may have gone through the similar thought processes, how did Yyou overcome them? Can they be overcome? Am i being unfair to Him? (lol ok more than one question here). I emailed, chatted and talked on the phone with my Lord for 6 months before meeting him. During that time, "Is he who he says he is" was a common question that I asked myself and that he asked himself about me. It was only through consistent demonstration of our character and values that we slowly gained the trust in each other to stop asking that question. Did I ever think it unfair? Only if I was judging him based on other people's behavior in my past. If I was just being cautious about being vulnerable with someone I met over the internet then no, it is not unfair at all. You can overcome them with the slow growth of trust in him and the relationship you are building. Knight's kyra

RavenMuse -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 10:32:11 AM)
When you have been burned enough times and badly enough if can be VERY difficult to trust again. But if you never take that risk how are you ever going to move on and get what you want and deserve. Also, how long will it stay at the back of your mind "What IF he was genuine?" That is quite a natural question once you have started to get to know someone and get to a certain stage, when you are learning about the other person. If he knows about your trust issues and it is a question you aren't comfortable with yet, why not just tell him that you aren't comfortable with it yet and see how he deals with that.... If he truely understands then he shouldn't have too much of a problem with that.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 10:34:36 AM)
quote: How do i STOP reading His e-mails and wondering to myself, is He real, is He who He says He is, is this just a wanker wanting to trick me? angelic could you clarify what your GOAL from the e-mail communication is....?

angelic -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 10:39:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: How do i STOP reading His e-mails and wondering to myself, is He real, is He who He says He is, is this just a wanker wanting to trick me? angelic could you clarify what your GOAL from the e-mail communication is....? to get to know Him and go from there.

Real0ne -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 10:43:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Get on the phone and talk to him. That will answer some of your questions right off the bat. i agree with this. then meeting will quench other worries. its pretty natural tho considering how people treat each other to have those apprehensions. only time and experiencing him will put those demons to bed imo. mean time try to approach him like he is your first date ever, well second maybe, to keep that positive energy flowing between you both. good luck to you!

Sunshine119 -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 11:02:29 AM)
Angelic, I too was stomped on, broken and emotionally left for dead after my relationship with my husband of 20 years ended VERY badly. It took me a long, long time to heal and an even longer time to start looking again. When I did, and found him, it took a while longer to explain my trust issues. By this time we were talking all the time on the phone and seeing each other several nights a week. I still have the letter he wrote me. I remember telling him I was broken and didn't know if I could ever trust fully again. He wrote in the letter "If you are broken, then I will pray to God to allow Me to be broken too". I remember sitting there, reading his letter, crying healing tears. My trust began to become mended at that point. When you find him, you will know it and he will accept you with all of your life experiences. Everything in life has created the Angelic that exists today. It is this Angelic he will fall in love with and demand submission from. Good luck!

BitaTruble -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 11:04:19 AM)
quote: i have in the past week been exchanging e-mails with a very nice Man. It's only been a week. There's no need to rush. It's really hard to hide your true colors for an extended period of time, so allow him the luxury of proving he's consistant. Think of it this way.. all those things you're wondering about 'him' he may be wondering the same about you. Hang in there, talk, talk, talk with him and let the relationship develop naturally in it's own good time. Good luck, Celeste

Misstoyou -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 11:10:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Get on the phone and talk to him. That will answer some of your questions right off the bat. Wwe haven't exchanged phone numbers, yet. angelic, I don't exchange phone numbers, I get phone numbers when I want to talk to someone for the first time, and my number is blocked when I call. Now, granted, I'm Domme, so "how fair is that" doesn't enter the equation, but knowing your background, and knowing it would give you some peace of mind, your friend might be happy to do the same for you. (I'm sure he's dying to hear your voice anyway. lol)

angelic -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 11:11:03 AM)
thank Yyou Aall for Yyour input. my trust issues, His size issues (and NO i don't mean it 'that' way... He is much bigger than i and i think that causes Him concern)...

angelic -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 11:20:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Misstoyou quote: ORIGINAL: angelic quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Get on the phone and talk to him. That will answer some of your questions right off the bat. Wwe haven't exchanged phone numbers, yet. angelic, I don't exchange phone numbers, I get phone numbers when I want to talk to someone for the first time, and my number is blocked when I call. Now, granted, I'm Domme, so "how fair is that" doesn't enter the equation, but knowing your background, and knowing it would give you some peace of mind, your friend might be happy to do the same for you. (I'm sure he's dying to hear your voice anyway. lol) It's not my place to ask Ma'am, so i will not. i love the 'I get phone numbers', tho LOL

kyraofMists -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 11:23:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic quote: angelic, I don't exchange phone numbers, I get phone numbers when I want to talk to someone for the first time, and my number is blocked when I call. Now, granted, I'm Domme, so "how fair is that" doesn't enter the equation, but knowing your background, and knowing it would give you some peace of mind, your friend might be happy to do the same for you. (I'm sure he's dying to hear your voice anyway. lol) It's not my place to ask Ma'am, so i will not. i love the 'I get phone numbers', tho LOL Why is it not your place to ask? kyra

RavenMuse -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 11:27:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic It's not my place to ask Ma'am, so i will not. i love the 'I get phone numbers', tho LOL There I disagree, it might be moot for you to ask respectfully if he would mind exchanging phone numbers. But if it would help you get over your problem of wondering if it was your ex on the other end of the keyboard then I don't know any decent Dom who would say it wasn't your place to ask. He might not be comfortable giving it quite yet if it has only been a short time (I've already exchanged mobile numbers with my young lady, that happened before a full week had passed!)

KnightofMists -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 11:31:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic It's not my place to ask Ma'am, so i will not. i love the 'I get phone numbers', tho LOL Stop being a Victim!

angelic -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 11:43:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse quote: ORIGINAL: angelic It's not my place to ask Ma'am, so i will not. i love the 'I get phone numbers', tho LOL There I disagree, it might be moot for you to ask respectfully if he would mind exchanging phone numbers. But if it would help you get over your problem of wondering if it was your ex on the other end of the keyboard then I don't know any decent Dom who would say it wasn't your place to ask. He might not be comfortable giving it quite yet if it has only been a short time (I've already exchanged mobile numbers with my young lady, that happened before a full week had passed!) that is why, Sir.. if He is not comfortable in giving it out then if i ask, i have then put Him in a position that He will be uncomfortable with. ok thinking this thru, i suppose i could just give Him my phone number... if He choses to call that is His choice.

angelic -> RE: Own Worst Enemy (2/26/2006 11:44:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: angelic It's not my place to ask Ma'am, so i will not. i love the 'I get phone numbers', tho LOL Stop being a Victim! Sir, with all due respect! NO SHIT!

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