porcelaine
Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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perhaps you should reread your original post. carefully and slowly. based on what you revealed there was no commitment in place between the two of you. you didn't state you were in a relationship or attempting to reconcile either. you gave the impression this was merely physical. but i suspected by the things you stated that you had feelings for him. your reaction or desire to talk to her for whatever reason you have convinced yourself is true, is tainted to some degree by the the fact that you are not an innocent party. you were getting something out of your time with him, otherwise you'd have elected to do so with someone else.
you keep seeing the fact that he is engaged and betrayed you both. what i'm gently trying to illustrate is for you to recognize you felt some level of expectation in this. just be honest with yourself for a moment. it is casual sex. he has chosen to throw in barbs about emotions. but it is talk until that person actively acts upon those words. it would appear things were not renewed between you, otherwise you would have told us so. you must ask yourself a very difficult question. why does this hurt?
there's another issue and one you mentioned but can't see where the other person is concerned. his previous connections attempted to tell you the same, but you didn't believe them. we have to discover our own truth and most people assume raving ex partners are merely incensed and place little value on the things they say. why would you trust the words of a stranger over the one you know and love? it would seem preposterous. it typically takes extreme circumstances and verifiable proof before the other party listens. she's usually prompted to do so when she's had her own suspicions.
it would be markedly different if you were an outside party and you learned of this through other sources. but you're not and i can't see how this is going to go well in your favor. you will be branded a trouble maker at best, or a very jaded woman that simply can't let go. even if he admits to sleeping with you during the period you mentioned, your interference would only serve to validate those beliefs. i'm a woman. i would sincerely wonder what you're getting out of this. i wouldn't think you'd have my best interest at hand since you've spent the last two years in bed with my man. i can't think of many people that would. there are just too many variables with that situation.
my advice to you is to let go and move on. it seemed that this was a situation that you returned to for whatever reasons when others failed. it may be a blessing in the disguise that he is heading in a different direction. the lack of access will free you to find someone deserving of the time and commitment it appears you're willing to invest. but take a moment and invest all of that energy and care into yourself. you deserve it. i wish you well.
porcelaine
< Message edited by porcelaine -- 9/9/2009 4:42:56 PM >
_____________________________
His will; my fate.
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RE: your hookup is engaged you say? - 
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