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RE: submissive girlfriend? - 9/12/2009 5:54:11 PM

Lordmanannan

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It's hard not to fall for someone that opens the door to a part of you that you either didn't know existed or had been suppressing. I understand that attachment from a scar of youth. Don't blindly accept for that reason. There are others (as previously mentioned) that can make you feel that way. My view of the Dom/Sub relationship is the complete package. I won't do that with anyone that couldn't be classified as my girlfriend. There would have to be a bond of mutual trust to indulge in that form of play.

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RE: submissive girlfriend? - 9/12/2009 6:37:07 PM

DavanKael

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Nothing wrong with wanting a whole relationship.
I agree with the others who say that this guys has commitments about which he isn't being honest.
Davan

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RE: submissive girlfriend? - 9/12/2009 7:17:20 PM

Jeptha

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From: Portland, Oregon
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Being submissive doesn't mean you have to put up with any bullshit.

Everyone's responsible for creating the kind of relationship they want. That means that even submissives are responsible for their own choices.

Take that responsibility seriously and make sure that you are actively choosing what is right for you, as opposed to passively accepting somebody else's vision that doesn't feel right to you.

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RE: submissive girlfriend? - 9/12/2009 11:20:50 PM

babe4bdk

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Joined: 8/1/2009
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Thank You to all! Your advice is greatly appreciated and is processing.

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Post #: 24

RE: submissive girlfriend? - 9/13/2009 12:28:09 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: babe4bdk

Hello to All and Thank You in advance for taking the time to read my post. I have found myself at a point of confusion and I am not sure where to go with this, so here I am. I have been in a Dom/sub relationship going on a
little over a year. All has been peachy and then there are moments when a "vanilla" part of me rears its ugly head :)

Although I am thrilled he has chosen me for His sub, at times I still question Him and His intentions. He made it clear that He had no interest in a vanilla girlfriend--which is fine--W/we met on alt...the roles were clear..His
desires were clear. He is ultimately wanting me to become His slave, which is what i strive to be. W/we are both
busy professionals--W/we both have children--W/we see each other once a week..or so. W/we communicate
mainly through IM--when W/we are not together and the occasional phone call. the only avenue i have been given
to contact Him, is through email or instant message.

i love Him and love serving Him...but the vanilla side of me wants more. Can one be a submissive girlfriend? Or should those two words never be used in a sentence?

Thank You in advance for Your offerings of advice.

I see no reason the two can not be easily intertwined

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RE: submissive girlfriend? - 9/13/2009 11:01:06 AM

dreamerdreaming

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Fast reply- (haven't read the thread yet)

OP, you are being played. He's married, or otherwise involved. Duh.

DUMP THE LOSER NOW, or you'll continue to be a clueless loser yourself. (Sorry so harsh, but you need to hear this...)

Get some self-esteem before you go looking again, so that you won't allow yourself to be treated this way in the future.

Take time.

Good luck, and welcome to the boards.

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Post #: 26

RE: submissive girlfriend? - 9/13/2009 8:27:54 PM

lizi

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Yes, it is possible to be a submissive girlfriend or whatever else you are looking for in a relationship. That you have been with this man for over a year and things haven't magically changed into what fulfills you means it isn't going to happen.
He's not being honest with you, but most importantly it isn't what you want anyway.

It was a learning experience, you have found out by being with him what will make you happy. Now it is your responsibility to go and find it.

< Message edited by lizi -- 9/13/2009 8:28:45 PM >

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RE: submissive girlfriend? - 9/14/2009 7:30:46 PM

Huntertn

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Some subs tell me they don't want the extra pressure of being both a girlfriend and sub to the Dom. Others can't see how you could not mix the two. Thats up to the both of you to work that out.But, having said that, Its easy to see what you want...and it seems to be equally clear what he does not want...I's suggest some clear talking of your needs to him..and being ready to move on if you have to. After all, life is learning and accepting new things....

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Post #: 28