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Pet Names - 8/27/2004 7:51:33 PM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Hi All,

i have talked with several Doms, but there is two who call me "girl" which drives me crazy but i wish not to be rude. i know girl doesn’t sound like a bad name but its like all the time ~~ "Thank you girl" or "yes, you may girl". i mean call me little one, jenn, baby, slut but just girl?

These Doms i have not gotten real close with and right now not planning to get any closer with but for future reference... i wonder if it is rude to ask a Dom/Domme to not call you certain names? if there is a way to do this, How?
I have heard the terms little one, subbie or pet a lot being used as "pet names" but is "girl" used by a lot of Doms?

Thank You in advance for any advice *smiles*

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Pet Names - 8/27/2004 8:54:09 PM   
MasterJoe2000


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		As an experienced Master, I find it useful to hear what a sub/slave feels about any particular subject, especially pat names. I don't think I have, or ever would, use "girl", but if I did refer to you as "my pet", or any other pet name, I would hope to be told if it makes you feel anything but the desired effect (endearing, owned, or just hot). If it ever did get to the point you were owned by me, then I would use any name I enjoy using, but knowing the reaction does not work for you would most likely steer me clear of it, since it is important to take care of what you own.

Master Joe

(in reply to subbiejenn)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Pet Names - 8/28/2004 2:02:00 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		excuse Me Masters for My post in Your area
For Me when I first meet sumone whom is
a sub or slave it is much easier for Me untill
I get to know them to simply address them
as either girl or boy. It for Me is the defining
of one in a submissive position but generic in
nature but gives just a slight of personality by
gender. In other words I might simply call you
sub as well if I dont know you or cant remember
your name or have no personal interaction with
you but calling a sub or slave girl or boy means
for Me that I have met you and know what and
who you are but have not established any concise
rules as to how I will address you nor know you
personally enough to address you by name. This
is how I use such words and unlike Joe I donot
feel that girl and boy are pet names for a pet name
to Me means sumthing addressed towards sumone
whom I have a special feeling for, or in other words
I might address My slave f as boy but in a way that
defines definatly to others around that he is special
however I can also use it in a way towards a sub
stranger that would show and be clear this is sumone
common and not special to Me in the least. I tend not
to address submissives much nor slaves by name much as
this takes away from their position of self as a posession. JMO

(in reply to MasterJoe2000)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Pet Names - 8/28/2004 5:49:22 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		Dear jenn baby slut:

There, I didn't call you girl.

Anyway, you can decide if you would rather be annoyed by being called girl or risk being seen as rude. So I'd say express your opinion but your expectation for the result should depend on the relationship. If you are at the "flirting" stage and he calls you girl, then the reaction you get could be valuable for deciding if you continue or not. For example, if he continues calling you girl you can decide he is a jerk and not waste any more time with him.

If you're well into a relationship and it comes up, speak your mind too. But then calling you girl will become a button he can chose to push or not.

(in reply to subbiejenn)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Pet Names - 8/28/2004 6:55:27 AM   
cheeba0228


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/27/2004
From: Detroit
Status: offline 		why does it have to be rude to be referred to otherwise. If you have totally submitted to them then in my eyes you dont have a choice but if you have not then you have the right to be called by that which you prefer. Just tell them that you like being called baby when they refer to you as baby, or tell them you like being called slut when they call you a slut. Personally I refer to my sub by just calling her "my pet" and she simply adores it.

_____________________________

LIFE'S JOURNEY IS NOT TO ARRIVE AT THE GRAVE SAFELY IN A WELL PRESERVED
BODY, BUT RATHER TO SKID IN SIDEWAYS, TOTALLY WORN OUT, SHOUTING "HOLY
SHIT......WHAT A RIDE!


(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Pet Names - 8/28/2004 8:49:01 AM   
Interesdom


Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
Status: offline 		If someone reveals thier name early enough (e.g. by calling themself "subbiejenn"), I'm likely to use that - at least until some pet name comes to mind - up until I might collar her. At that point things might change. Or might not.

If someone doesn't reveal their name (e.g. by calling themself "fuckmesilly") then I might well address them as 'girl' since to me it is a generic word for a female sub/slave. (It's also a generic word for what I call a female I'm interested in but that may be a different issue.)

Either way, it is not impolite or rude for the girl (see?) to let me politely know that being addressed as such is not a positive thing for her. After all, a relationship is about discussion and finding out about another person and if I don't know, I can't decide what to do about it. A good submissive will ALWAYS inform a dominant but should not expect the dominant to change.

Just stay polite and humble. If you say "I won't be put up with being called 'girl'!" then you are likely to remain single. If you say, "Sir, being called 'girl' doesn't do anything for me; whereas being called by my name or some other specific pet name you may have for me is attractive." then I think you are passing on information about yourself in a correct and responsible manner. Even doms can't mind-read.

(in reply to subbiejenn)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Pet Names - 8/28/2004 10:15:09 AM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline 		jenn,

why not simply and politely say " Sir please call me jenn"
OR
"Sir, this girl prefers to be called jen (slut or whatever name you like")

It is hard to break habits of people you've known for a while.

It's taken a year for the majority that knew sassy to start using
stormi.

BUT stormi has finally stopped turning when hearing the name sassy.
Also, what this girl usually does is quietly but firmly say "Master prefers
that HIS girl is called stormi" please feel free to do so and smile then
usually asked to be excused and walk off.

There's nothing wrong whether you or sub or slave in asking to be called
what is comfortable to you and/or what your Master prefers.

Just be nice,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to subbiejenn)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Pet Names - 8/28/2004 11:22:58 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		I dont think that there is anything wrong with stating a preference. But, if you are planning a relationship with this person and they still prefer to call you "girl", then you need to decide what is more important to you. The relationship, or the name they have chosen for you.

Personally...I like using the name "fuckmeat" *WEG*

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Pet Names - 8/28/2004 1:09:26 PM   
NoCalOwner


Posts: 241
Status: offline 		Personally, I don't use "girl" almost ever. I know that many slaves have fond memories of being told "good girl," but to me it always sounded too... well, canine? But, if I did, I wouldn't use it on a slave unless I didn't know her name and couldn't think of anything better. Ask me again when I have a couple of hundred slaves and can't keep track. Then perhaps I will be able to disregard their having intellects, free will (however little used) and thus individuality and accountability, and begin giving rewards and punishments to them en masse. In that context the use of generic labels would make more sense to me.

In your case, you are a sub, not a slave, and you aren't tied to any Dom/me, so I'd address you by name. But then I'm a protocol dissident who disregards "tradition." No offense to the large number of Dom/mes and slaves who like that mode of address.

I agree that you should ask to be called whatever you prefer.

(in reply to subbiejenn)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Pet Names - 8/28/2004 1:28:04 PM   
MLordEd


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Raleigh, NC
Status: offline 		How one stranger responds to another, and how polite they are is pretty clearly defined by society.

But I think in any relationship, a part of defining the relationship (and a good deal of the fun!) is for each to explore what the other wants, and to what they respond. So in a DS relationship, especially in a new one, both should learn details about the other such as pet-names. And a master should explicitly learn what names the sub likes, and dislikes, and finds amusing, embarrassing, endearing, enraging, and would plain make them melt into a sub-puddle. And the master needs to (and has the fun of) learning when to use which as just part of the fun of discovering the sub's buttons, and when to push them.

If I were to call my sub a name she found irritating, I would expect her to respond as if she knew it was my Intent to irritate her, (and perhaps to provoke a response!) I would expect the sub to use the names for me that we had agreed on, with her choosing which to use based on which response she wished to provoke from me. Anything less would be an abdication of the responsibilities (and fun) of learning about each other, and just being too lazy for words (pun intended).

_____________________________

To those of you who claim that I "Suffer from Dementia"<br>
.... let me correct you. I actually find it rather pleasant!

(in reply to NoCalOwner)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Pet Names - 8/28/2004 5:14:43 PM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline 		Sir,

With respect, the Doms in question were not ones she is in a relationship with.

Master calls this girl "girl" all the time..... but stormi doesn't like being called that
by others nor does Master, which is why stormi will say .. "please call this girl stormi"



Thanks,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to MrThorns)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Pet Names - 8/28/2004 11:09:35 PM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Ahh... I misread the original post. Thank you stormi.

To edit:

Option 1: Start calling them "Dude" when they refer to you as "girl"
Option 2: Don't reply at all when referred to as "girl". When they finally call you by a name that you would respond to, say, "Oh? Were you referring to me????"

Option 3: (Probably the most courteous of the options I have provided) Simply inform them (With tact) that you would prefer to be called by the name (Insert name here...). I don't think that is rude at all. If you say nothing, they will presume that it's something that you are comfortable with.

~Thorns

PS. There's a lot more smartassed answers that I could add here, but it's late. Email me for a detailed list of names and behaviors that typically make doms go through the roof.

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Pet Names - 8/29/2004 12:26:21 AM   
jillwfsub4blkdom


Posts: 375
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		MrThorns,
My favorite was You saying to call Him "Dude" lmaooooooo. i would love an email with all of them. Not sure i would ever stop laughing though.

_____________________________


"It's the moment that transcends
Our physical into a more spiritual level of understanding" - Musiq

(in reply to MrThorns)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Pet Names - 8/29/2004 5:03:25 AM   
theroebabe


Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiejenn

Hi All,

i have talked with several Doms, but there is two who call me "girl" which drives me crazy but i wish not to be rude. i know girl doesn’t sound like a bad name but its like all the time ~~ "Thank you girl" or "yes, you may girl". i mean call me little one, jenn, baby, slut but just girl?

These Doms i have not gotten real close with and right now not planning to get any closer with but for future reference... i wonder if it is rude to ask a Dom/Domme to not call you certain names? if there is a way to do this, How?
I have heard the terms little one, subbie or pet a lot being used as "pet names" but is "girl" used by a lot of Doms?

Thank You in advance for any advice *smiles*


Hi subbiejen,

Well i am a sub and stepping into this from that point of view. If as you said you have no desire to go further then i would personally point that out to them. I have done it many times and at that point most go away, which is what i wanted. I am a person first and deserve to be treated as such. I do not like it when people do not use my name, in the getting to know me stage. When someone throws in an occasion oh good girl or little one then it sends me swooning. But to not talk to me as a person first kind of sets me off.

I usually ask them why they are referring ti me in that manner and then ask if thwey would mind calling me by that name, its sort of the saem when i dom says call me Sir and this is the first email/contact. I Say i am sorry i dont know you well enough to address you like that. and if they never write back thats fine too. Then it seems their protocol is more important than the person they are speaking to.

Roe

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to subbiejenn)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Pet Names - 8/29/2004 8:46:38 AM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the replies...

i do know these 2 well enough for them to know my name, one i have meet for lunch and the other i have talked with on the phone. No relationship really just was at that getting to know each other phase. One of them still IMs me when i am on Messenger and i think i will express my feelings to Him about how i feel when He calls me "girl". i am not in a relationship with Him but would like to stay friends. Feels so impersonal to always be called "girl", the occasional "good girl" is ok. I've thought a lot about why i didn't want to just tell them how i felt in the first place and come to the conclusion that i just didn't feel real comfortable with them. The Dom i am talking to now (which doesn’t call me girl) if He did do something that bugged me i would inform Him of my feelings and i don't think i would have a problem doing so. Doesn’t mean He will stop but i think He would and maybe just use it when i am in trouble..... LOL

O ya MrThorns ~ i am not much of a bratty sub but i may e-mail You for that list i may feel the need for some extra attention someday. *grins* i am sure using a name in which He don't like will get me some. Reminds me of the movie “the Secretary" LOL ~~ Thanks a lot for Your help.

Thanks a lot E/everyone

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to MrThorns)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Pet Names - 8/29/2004 9:55:33 AM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		I think you need to decide if you are a sub or a doormat. If you want to be a doormat lie down and shut up. If you want to a be a sub communicate. It's really simple.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to subbiejenn)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Pet Names - 8/30/2004 7:00:26 PM   
LadyBona


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline 		I very much enjoy using pet names for My subs. One reason is that because most of them are pets, and the other reason is that if the males are going to be sissified, then I must provide them with a girlie name. It makes for an interesting time when they transform into their new persona during role playing, and provides activities where no one ever gets bored. Just my 2 cents.

_____________________________

Lady Bonaventura
"Always leave them wanting more....."

(in reply to subbiejenn)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Pet Names - 6/28/2005 5:06:19 AM   
HiTop


Posts: 22
Joined: 6/26/2005
Status: offline 		I named my sub Eva... a normal name, but enough removed from RL that just referencing her brings the conversation and attitudes right to 'that' place. She took to the concept quickly and just hearing her refer to herself in her 'alter ego' is a small reward each time it happpens.

She does get called any number of 'pet names, but she is addressed formally as Eva.

(in reply to LadyBona)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Pet Names - 6/28/2005 5:40:25 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		I am not allowed to be called diminuatives or pet names by anyone not my partner, so I do a couple things.

I tell them, first, I'd prefer to be called by my handle, and don't like being called pet names.

If that doesn't work, I tell them I am not -allowed- to be called by pet names, adn would prefer they didn't but call me by my handle instead.

If -that- doesn't work, I start calling them boy/girl themselves. That generally makes 'em mad and makes 'em stop talking to me.

To tell the truth, I rather like being called girl. It's my nickname among my RT friends (vanilla and otherwise) HOWEVER, I only like being called it verbally. Online, for some reason that makes little sense, it -screams- cyberwanker to me.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to HiTop)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Pet Names - 6/28/2005 6:02:40 AM   
sudja


Posts: 155
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiejenn

Hi All,

i have talked with several Doms, but there is two who call me "girl" which drives me crazy but i wish not to be rude. i know girl doesn’t sound like a bad name but its like all the time ~~ "Thank you girl" or "yes, you may girl". i mean call me little one, jenn, baby, slut but just girl?

These Doms i have not gotten real close with and right now not planning to get any closer with but for future reference... i wonder if it is rude to ask a Dom/Domme to not call you certain names? if there is a way to do this, How?
I have heard the terms little one, subbie or pet a lot being used as "pet names" but is "girl" used by a lot of Doms?

Thank You in advance for any advice *smiles*


I (nicely) correct anybody who uses anything but the name they know me by (based on nick or screen name or whatever)

Only my Mistress is allowed to refer to me by any other name/word. Even before that a random person had no right to classify me in any manner - I was not "their" person.

When I am addressed as "girl" I will tend to a "woman; roars" response, nice, humorous, gets the point across, if it's a man.

Women are less likely to do it, and I find a way to do that as well.

Earlier today somebody I did not know and had never seen before referred to me as "little sudja."

I responded very simply:

"Little sudja? Let's refrain from diminutives. Thanks in advance."

By the way - there are those who say, "That means you're not submissive."

Wrongo - I'm just not submissive to the world, only to the One - and that She is the only one who may call me certain words, and gain certain deference/titles/honorifics from me, raises, in my mind, how unique She is in my life, and emphasizes how valued She is to me.

sudja




(in reply to subbiejenn)
Profile   Post #: 20
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