How to start? (has this been discussed)

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

How to start? (has this been discussed)

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> How to start? (has this been discussed)

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

How to start? (has this been discussed) - 9/14/2009 11:15:00 PM

blkswitch

Posts: 45
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline

I'm new and believe I'd like to be dominated. But on the other hand, I enjoy the idea of having a slave.

So, I consider myself a switch.

Is this correct?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: How to start? (has this been discussed) - 9/15/2009 1:18:45 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

There's a handy term, bi-curious, which means that you've never played with a member of the same sex but are curious about it. In a similar vein, I'd call you switch-curious.

There are all kinds of labels - submissive, slave, bottom, switch, Dom/me, Master, Top - and all sorts of nuances differentiating between them. You simply sound open minded and willing to try things. After you try things and see if they work for you, you can apply labels accordingly.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to blkswitch)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: How to start? (has this been discussed) - 9/15/2009 12:34:23 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

To kind of continue with what DarkSteven has said...label yourself a switch but let people know you're new at things and are exploring. When I put it out there that I was new to the whole idea of BDSM I found people were very helpful and tolerant of the fact that I didn't know much and actually helped out with teaching me things along the way.

< Message edited by lizi -- 9/15/2009 12:35:17 PM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: How to start? (has this been discussed) - 9/15/2009 1:05:28 PM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blkswitch

I'm new and believe I'd like to be dominated. But on the other hand, I enjoy the idea of having a slave.

So, I consider myself a switch.

Is this correct?

Since you lack experience, it would be fair to label yourself at this point. I would say you have switch tendenances. Maybe a few years, down the road then you can reassess your feelings and be confident that you have prorerly examined youself and then can say "I am (insert label)"

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to blkswitch)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: How to start? (has this been discussed) - 9/15/2009 1:07:03 PM

AngelGeena

Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

There are all kinds of labels - submissive, slave, bottom, switch, Dom/me, Master, Top - and all sorts of nuances differentiating between them. You simply sound open minded and willing to try things. After you try things and see if they work for you, you can apply labels accordingly.

There you have it.

_____________________________

Owned heart and soul, bound to MZ forever.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: How to start? (has this been discussed) - 9/15/2009 1:21:14 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

I know, for the little box on your profile you need a label. Aside from that, though, do really believe yourself to be at the point where you can say one label fits better than another? My label issues still rage on to this day and I have been exploring at some level now for three years (I know, still just a whippersnapper to some LOL). Tick whichever box seems close enough to a fit, explain you are new and what you think you want in your profile, and leave enough room for others to show you some new things as well. Your own personal identity will solidify over time just as much as it will change. Labels are harmless enough to remove if it becomes necessary. Just go with what fits your understanding of yourself best.

lovingpet

(in reply to AngelGeena)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: How to start? (has this been discussed) - 9/18/2009 4:31:17 AM

JezzaV

Posts: 16
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

To kind of continue with what DarkSteven has said...label yourself a switch but let people know you're new at things and are exploring. When I put it out there that I was new to the whole idea of BDSM I found people were very helpful and tolerant of the fact that I didn't know much and actually helped out with teaching me things along the way.

Hammer. Nail. Head.

Myself, I suppose I'm a Dom, but since my love and I are not full-time lifestylers I might sometimes be considered a Master (a term I always find amusing since I believe a true Master requires complete Mastery of every aspect of himself - and so would never refer to himself as a "Master" of anything, since the more we learn and gain mastery of, the more we see how much we do not know and have yet to learn). Other times it's nice to snuggle up for good old-fashioned carerss, cuddles and sweet, slow lurve-makin'. So hang on...

I'm Vanilla???

I tend not to bother about labels too much. I'm ME.

And that's what's really important.

(in reply to lizi)

Profile

Post #: 7