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hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: Personal Info posted (9/16/2009 9:20:51 AM)
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I've been considering whether and what to post since I saw the start of this thread. It's a subject that - while I'm not exactly Surprised to see it come up - I have mixed feelings concerning.
I have, on an irregular basis, used these fora to vent. A need to vent where we feel safe - amongst friends (and I do count several on these boards as Friends) can be a much needed stress relief at times, where another safe outlet might not exist. (Not to mention potentially saving us huge amounts of money in psychiatrists' bills LOL) It's not so much the anonyminity as it is the friendships - even if those aren't in the majority - that give that feeling of safety. Knowing there's someplace avaialable TO vent can be as much a needed stress reliever as the actual venting - though sometimes the simple knowledge isn't sufficient to do the trick. I make no apologies for doing so, nor do I make them for who I am, what I've seen, the various choices I've made for better or worse, or how I handle and deal with the various consequences of those choices. I also make no apologies (ever) for the preferences those choices have led me to, the opinions they've generated, or the small pieces of insight into myself and others that are sometimes generated from that past and the choices it contained.
Are they (vents) TMI? Perhaps. But then, I've always been of the opinion that if someone doesn't like the direction a thread is going - or it's contents for Whatever reason - they're under no obligation to read it. Nor is anyone obligated to respond/comment on it, or to feel anything at all whether it be mild curiousity, supportive, derisive, or anything else.
Sexcapades I tend to simply ignore. I consider them pretty much part & parcel of being on a sexuality oriented site - but being a nominally intelligent, definately adult person with no one holding a gun to my head, I'm by no means obligated to read the threads that go in that direction.
The same, however, can be said of Any sort of thread started on these fora. No one is under an obligation to read them, whether they be rants, vents, apologies, sex questions, current events, politics, religion, sexcapade bragging (or moaning the lack thereof!).. whatever. Doing so means you (generic) have Voluntarily opened yourself to the possibility of TMI, difference of opinion, potential drama, and everything else - whether good or bad - that goes hand in hand with Choosing to read the forums.
All that having been said, I consider apologies to fall into one of several different catagories depending on the nature of the apology. There are things that I note on This site that wouldn't be a consideration on most other sites - like the person's orientation as far as their level of dominance/submission. And I look at that, specifically around here, because it tells me as much about where that apology falls as what is actually Said. It can help determine, regardless of how well spoken the poster is, just how Self Driven something was. When I say "self driven" I don't mean "seeking attention for themselves" - I mean motivated internally, as an act of conscience because they honestly feel like they've done something that their internal moniters require they give an apology for, vs motivated Externally because someone else decreed that it Should be done or Must be done - to salve or boost an often unseen 3rd party's ego. The second type - done because the poster was told they Had to do so - I consider attention seeking, but not on the part of the Original Poster.
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