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RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/17/2009 1:31:24 PM

SlutAndi

Posts: 36
Joined: 9/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

maybe have a couple drinks before hand (don't get sloshed) but to ease up on the inhibitions and self-conciousness.

Watch a goofy movie beforehand, be in a goofy mood to start.....no time for reflection sort of thing, how ever you achieve it, and for fucks sake use lots and lots of good self talk (I can do this, he will be so pleased and so on)

I like that aswel it would fit in quite well with us both, and we do like our laughter. Ironically enough though I discussed the drink part with him the othernight and decided we would try WITHOUT having a drink.. Seens we always do before play to relax with eachorther.. tbh it makes me emotional at times and is a real passion/play killer, makes me think too much and maybe thats why i dont cum??. Maybe without the drink i will find im more comfortable... Mmmm we will see!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 21

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/17/2009 1:35:55 PM

SlutAndi

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Joined: 9/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

so get in there and get in some good play, you fuckin' goof, and don't worry about it, orgasims come to us all, you need to practice, no big gig.

all the best,
Ron

Exactly something my Master would say! *laughs*

I will do! Thanyou Ron

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 22

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/18/2009 3:28:24 AM

JezzaV

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Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

Andi,

I tend to agree with mostly everything that's been said. For instance, the time I made you play with yourself was as much a lesson for me as a "kink". And for god's sake don't ever think that not cumming is somehow you letting me down. Actually it's the diametric opposite. I feel deflated because you come sooo close and I feel like I've failed you.

(in reply to SlutAndi)

Post #: 23

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/18/2009 6:38:49 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

Listen to Franky goes to Hollywood
relax don't do it
when you wanna cum

Forget about yourself, get into that really really dirrrty place and .... explode, ride the wave

(in reply to SlutAndi)

Post #: 24

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/18/2009 8:01:25 AM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

a lot of it is really all in your head. my wife put me on to hypnography for women for audible. com it talks you into a orgasm by yourself. this could help with the mental block. also good to use with a partner. there are different creams and warming oils that can be tried as well. but never stop communicating with each other. he wont know if you don't tell him.

(in reply to ranja)

Post #: 25

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/18/2009 11:12:06 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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I read somethng in Cosmo (yes i do read it). It said somtimes deep breathing will help relax you and will help you with getting there, because is increases O2 flow to the area which will make you more senestive(at least that is what they said). I wish i could be more help, but i never had this problem.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

Post #: 26

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/18/2009 12:30:40 PM

SlutAndi

Posts: 36
Joined: 9/16/2009
Status: offline

Thankyou all for your positive help!!1

I think i really have came to the conclusion that it is definitely me causing the problem for myself.

I have noticed that I tend to tense up alot to get more sensation rather than relaxing and just well... taking it! I think I need to relax and just not think at all and just FEEL the pleasure i am receiving. Abit like doing abit of Yoga..*hummmm* lol

But yeah in all seriousness i think thats definitly what it is.

I feel quite positive about it now and I think this will be a good learning curb for us both when we discuss it and get down to the biz!

< Message edited by SlutAndi -- 9/18/2009 12:32:04 PM >

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 27

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/18/2009 12:32:32 PM

Mishna

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Joined: 11/1/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

One thing i have noticed is that the orgasms that my Sir gives me and the ones i give myself are different. Just a thought.

I have a similar situation. I can make myself orgasm without fail, have a difficult time with my partner, and the orgasms are completely different between the two. I think a lot of it is as people have said, relaxing, not thinking too much. I can actually feel my body responding to my brain. My arousal goes down the more I tell myself I want to orgasm. But the orgasms are so much better with him. It's a tough situation.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 28

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/18/2009 12:42:23 PM

SlutAndi

Posts: 36
Joined: 9/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mishna

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

One thing i have noticed is that the orgasms that my Sir gives me and the ones i give myself are different. Just a thought.

I have a similar situation. I can make myself orgasm without fail, have a difficult time with my partner, and the orgasms are completely different between the two. I think a lot of it is as people have said, relaxing, not thinking too much. I can actually feel my body responding to my brain. My arousal goes down the more I tell myself I want to orgasm. But the orgasms are so much better with him. It's a tough situation.

Fully agree there, I have mixed feelings about it.. where I do want to orgasm more but on the other hand i dont because when I do Orgasm with him it is fantastic because i have had this major looooong hype before hand.. like a mass relief explosion and he does love that. Maybe if I cum more often I will have more orgasms but with less "bang" Ya know?! So I dont know, see how it goes really!

(in reply to Mishna)

Post #: 29

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/18/2009 5:08:03 PM

Kalista07

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Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

Andi,
just wanted to touch base with you and see if the recent development in your all's relationship had allowed or facilitated any changes in this area?
Kali

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Post #: 30

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/19/2009 8:10:01 AM

OrionAndi

Posts: 73
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Andi,
just wanted to touch base with you and see if the recent development in your all's relationship had allowed or facilitated any changes in this area?
Kali

I see where you are coming from there Kali, if that where the case it would explain alot... but no this has actually been an issue for me from the begining tbh. In previous Vanilla relationships it was never really a problem but I never had the same emotions, feelings, rush ect that I have with Orion... thats why i think i try so hard to please him tho I never did that with others. Sex wasnt really a big part of my life until now... I enjoy it far more now..

So ya'd think it would be the complete opposite

lol

Andi x

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 31

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/19/2009 8:51:20 AM

Kalista07

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Joined: 7/1/2007
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No...Andi....i understand where you are coming from more than you can know, trust me in that.... i've basically come to the conclusion that i'm not going to allow myself to get stressed out or anything not being able to orgasm.... {i've actually never been able to orgasm...EVER}. So, i'm just going to enjoy the journey and hang on for the ride....
i'm trying to not focus on the orgasm part and just stay in the moment.
Kali

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Post #: 32

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/19/2009 9:04:48 AM

OrionAndi

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Joined: 9/18/2009
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Wow and here I am complaining about not have enough orgasms

How frustrating for you! Thier must be a way..No? But I guess by now you have tried everything anyway!

Your day will come im sure.. Your completely write about enjoying the ride and not stressing about it, thus I am taking this on board.

Andi x

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 33

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/19/2009 10:06:08 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

It is not at all uncommon for women under thirty to be unable to orgasm. If this matters to you, go get your hormone levels tested. Including testosterone, which you won't be able to orgasm without enough of. Women don't need much of it, but what we need is essential.

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Post #: 34

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/19/2009 12:25:23 PM

Drifa

Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline

You know that sex therapists treat this sort of problem? Relationships Scotland specifically has counselors trained in sex therapy that can help you. Heck, ask your GP -- they can often give you a referral to a NHS-sponsored clinician.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 35

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/19/2009 12:43:10 PM

NormalOutside

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Joined: 1/8/2008
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Relax and keep working on it. Practice really does help. Alone, with toys, and with Master. Good luck :)

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Post #: 36

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/21/2009 5:09:22 PM

slaveyslave

Posts: 34
Joined: 7/16/2009
Status: offline

i have alot of trouble having an orgasm. The most important thing is relaxing. Hard to do sometimes though.

(in reply to NormalOutside)

Post #: 37

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/21/2009 6:42:43 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

Some great advice on this thread....

One thing worth mentioning also, is that certain medications can make orgasm next to impossible, as a side effect. Percocet comes to mind...

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Post #: 38

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/21/2009 7:04:02 PM

angelikaJ

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Most anti-depressants (SSRIs) have sexual side effects as well.
(Which can sometimes be managed with the addition of another anti-depressant in another class.)
Talk to your doctor or pharmacist if you have a question about a particular medication you are using.

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Post #: 39

RE: Trouble having orgasims.. - 9/22/2009 2:27:58 AM

ranja

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Joined: 11/1/2007
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I think it is very true that for a lot of younger women it is more difficult to cum... i certainly got better at it with age... confidence has a lot to do with it too and self knowledge obviously.
When i was younger i found it impossible to cum with open legs... the whole area was way to sensitive to be spread wide open and also i would constantly worry about not being wet enough and i did not like spit or jelly much as i always felt a bit behind (if that makes sense)... also when i was younger my boyfriends were not quite dirty enough for my mind really and i did not dare being totally honest because i did not want to freak them out...
When i was younger i got off humping my wrist mainly (in private) and thinking of very very dirty things indeed...
i resorted to faking orgasms for the bf as there was no other way i could give them to him... it was not a good situation

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 40

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