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RE: Feeling Betrayed - 9/22/2009 12:00:35 PM

CougarStud

Posts: 105
Joined: 7/24/2009
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If I was him, I would have played sooner with another openly & earlier in the "relationship" to establish that this is how things with me would be.
He waited 8 months and did it in a not so open way. He should have prepared you better. Both of you have something to lean from this.

I am going to show my new slave DePubed's response and show her how she should view my "playing" I'll play sooner rather than later so I can prepare her for life with me rather than let her think that she owns ME!

(in reply to MissOllaria)

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Post #: 41

RE: Feeling Betrayed - 9/22/2009 2:35:09 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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My Sir and i went into our relationship with him telling me if i needed him to be monogomous for me to feel secure then that is what he would do. And he meant it.

I didn't want to deprive(deprave?) him of something he enjoys, so he played and continues to play and i reap the benefits in a happier, more satisfied man - who i think , loves me more because i accept that part of him. I do have to say that there is no exchange in body fluids, so i feel safe in that aspect.

I have come home from work before to find him in bed with a regular playtoy, getting a blow job, and after snuggling down beside him, i had to push down his belly so i could see what she was doing. He laughed so hard!!!!!!!

What we have isn't right for everyone - but for us, it is perfect. The two of you are off to a rocky start as far as playing with others, but if this relationship is something you truly want to nurture, then maybe setting a few ground rules would help. For instance - no intercourse might be a good start, or no intercourse without a condom.
The thing is , you and your partner need to start talking about some of these things, and not just wishing/hoping that what isn't being talked about may never happen.

(in reply to CougarStud)

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Post #: 42

RE: Feeling Betrayed - 9/22/2009 7:40:50 PM

coyotedancer

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/26/2004
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My Kiwisub12 has it right. I do play with other girls and am totally open and honest with her about it. The fact that she is accepting of this aspect of OUR relationship makes my love for her greater than anything I have ever experienced. I have become aware that she seems to have come to a place where she enjoys watching me play with others.

I never do anything behind her back because cheating is always wrong no matter what your relationship is.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

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Post #: 43

RE: Feeling Betrayed - 9/23/2009 10:22:33 AM

MasterTslave

Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
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you have every right to be pissed off!!! if it was not something that you were ok with and not something that you both discussed, he is just being a JERK! i would have a hard time if my Master did that...i don't care if He is my Master or not...if he fingered some chick and allowed them to give Him a bj...i'd kill him! NOT COOL!! If you are in a relationship, you need to be able to trust 100%, not have to worry that He will come home with other chick's slobber on his cock!

(in reply to Acer49)

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Post #: 44

RE: Feeling Betrayed - 9/23/2009 10:42:48 AM

flogger

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/27/2004
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I got to check my profile again for do' and don'ts. Glad to hear all of these opinions. Gave me a wake up call. Thanks CM folks.

(in reply to Acer49)

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Post #: 45

RE: Feeling Betrayed - 9/23/2009 3:06:07 PM

OrionAndi

Posts: 73
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49
Well on one hand, he told you from jump that he will not be monogamous and it appears you must have agreed. On the other hand, he was less than candid about the incident. so on some level, he must have realized it was wrong, permission or not. I think he was very insensitive. Furthermore, I would assume you would be willing to be manipulted into an orgasm as well as would be willing to give him a blow job, So, why was it necessary for him to get it elsewhere? In my book, lying and lying by ommission are the same and I am willing to bet that if you had not asked he would have not volunteered any information. I may be out of step with the times, but there is no orgasm of any kind worth, seeing the hurt and pain on my slave's face and knowing that I am the one responsible for it.

When embarking on this type of relationship it's VERY important to set rules and limits before you even *kiss* and then ABIDE BY THEM. Now Andi and I have a slightly different situation where she'd never tried any BDSM before but the thought excited her. I helped her take her first steps, but I "forced" her to promise to ALWAYS tell me when to back off/slow down/just fucking STOP!, etc when playing. Communication is the key in both play and day-to-day relations.

One thing we agreed before ANYTHING else was monogamy. We are for each other. End of. So I'll never "play away". End of. And I know if I ever did, she'd walk and I'd lose the most important part of my life other than my daughter. What sort of idiot would take that risk? (BTW, I'm also a USELESS liar and she catches me out EVERY time I've tried! lol )

Now this may seem kind of a skewed veiwpoint coming from a non 24-7 Lifestyle bloke, but I think I can speak for Andi as well on this one. The guy took the piss and you have every right to feel betrayed. In this modern word of mobile phones, etc, he COULD made a quick phone call and said "I'm going to play with... is that alright?" or even just "I'm GOING to..."

The fact that be "covered" his actions shows guilt on his part. Or perhaps fear that you'd walk. Either way, it just doesn't "sound right" to me as a Master's behaviour.

Personally, (and I could be wrong) my instinct is that this guy's a wanker. Possibly you've misunderstood the Terms of your relationship. Then again, it's Master's job to let you those Rules in no uncertain terms so he STILL seems to fail.

It seems to me this guy is taking advantage of you and only 'fessed up because he got caught. But you must be thinking "Well, I caught him... this ONCE". Sit home down and ask the hard questions. Watch his reactions. And then ask YOURSELF... Is this guy a real Master that will take care of me or just another chancer looking for easy kicks?

Just my £0.02p

Orion.

(in reply to Acer49)

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Post #: 46

RE: Feeling Betrayed - 9/24/2009 2:52:40 AM

FeedingMyNeed

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/13/2008
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Thanks again everyone, for your suggestions/opinions. There are a lot of discussions going on in this house right now, and things are actually a bit better. This doesn't, by any means, suggest that a final decision has been made but let's just say that "peace talks" and a better understanding of what is expected (FROM BOTH OF US) is on the table.

Again, my sincerest thanks.

(in reply to OrionAndi)

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Post #: 47