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Changing - 2/28/2006 7:24:03 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		OK, as many of you know I will be soon moving in with my Dom. Now I want everyone to understand that I love him beyond distraction and really do want to please him in all ways. I am looking forward to being trained to be the best submissive I can be for him.

Now, having said that, I am freaking out just a little here!! I am almost 40 years old (in two days) and have spent my life in jeans, T-shirts and flats. I am a very, very casual person. My Dom wants me to have a certain look. Like no pants, unless we are on a hike or exercising. And no panties unless he specifically allows it, which I am guessing won’t be too often. I will be required to wear skirts or dresses, stockings and heels. Hell, I haven’t been in a dress and heels in 15 years!

I worry about accepting this whole new look on a permanent, everyday basis. I worry about breaking my freaking neck in heels! He just smiles and says I will get used to it. Will I??? Do women that have never really worn heels in their life get used to it? And my goodness how icky is the thought of wearing stockings and garters all the time? I would go for the tan look but he likes how white my skin is so I don’t know if that will fly. Sigh!

Then there is the issue of my collar. Now, I do love the idea of wearing his collar of course. But, what about my other necklaces? Like my sister just gave me the most beautiful sterling silver necklace and I have a very nice gold cross that I like to wear if I go to church. What do I now do with these? He has given me the impression that I will only be wearing his collar from now on.

OK, I think that is it for the moment. He is picking me up in 2 days and I think I am starting to freak out! So, I am obsessing about my clothes, collars, looks and other little things then the bigger issues like us really being able to transition from online to real life.

Help!!!!


_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 7:37:14 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

OK, I think that is it for the moment. He is picking me up in 2 days and I think I am starting to freak out! So, I am obsessing about my clothes, collars, looks and other little things then the bigger issues like us really being able to transition from online to real life.

Help!!!!


Sounds to me like you and he still have some talking to do. This is going to be a big adjustment for BOTH of you, and odds are some of the things he's saying he expects of you will end up being set aside, as the two of you learn what works and what doesn't.



_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 8:00:21 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Well happy birthday for starters!!

This is indeed an adjustment. If you are allowed, i would suggest starting with a low heel and working your way up. Yes, he would like a sexy slave in heels, but without injury is the best option. Plus, going from flat shoes to constant heels might cause your feet to ache. you A gradual move toward the look he wants will help you adjust mentally/emotionally as well. The adjustment in moving and living with someone new is quite big in and of itself.

you may find, however, that the desire to please him will outweigh any concerns you have.

As for the collar...i had those same concerns prior to receiving mind. But to my own surprise, i found i no longer wanted to wear my other necklaces. i keep them, i look at them, but my collar stays on. you may decide to put the gold cross from your sister on a long chain, and it may work to wear both if you like.

Talk to him, however. He needs to know your concerns and help you through them.

Good luck!!

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 8:16:22 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce
Sounds to me like you and he still have some talking to do. This is going to be a big adjustment for BOTH of you, and odds are some of the things he's saying he expects of you will end up being set aside, as the two of you learn what works and what doesn't.


Yes you are right that it will be an adjustment to us both. He is very aware of my fears and concerns and I have no doubt we will work through them. He has said many, many times that we will find out what works and do that and what doesn't we will get rid of and do something else. I am just so nervous and really needed to vent a little and since I am such a girl venting about my clothes seemed to make sense to me.



quote:

ORIGINAL:ownedgirlie
As for the collar...i had those same concerns prior to receiving mind. But to my own surprise, i found i no longer wanted to wear my other necklaces. i keep them, i look at them, but my collar stays on. you may decide to put the gold cross from your sister on a long chain, and it may work to wear both if you like.


Just today I told him he should get me one of those necklace hangers that I could have so I could at least look at them. He did suggest maybe we could alter them in some way. Make a bracelet for my wrist or ankle maybe.

Oh and I agree about starting out slowly with the heels. When he picks me up I will be wearing ones that actually do feel pretty good on me and saving the 4" heels for another day when I have much more practice. LOL



_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 8:27:02 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		Sounds like you and he are doing it right to me. He sounds like he is symathetic to your concerns and realizes what a big step you are taking and going to work with you to get thru things. You seem eager to please and willing to take the steps... baby steps at first work well !

Now about those heels... lol. Bless you child, you are a better woman than me
I could never wear them every day. They hurt my bunion ridden feet, and I am a Klutz. lol
But I sure do love they way they look, wish I could do it.

mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 8:42:21 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well, seriously kiddo, I talked to the guy........and he is not gonna let you wear any kinda clothes, he was bullshitting you, furthermore, he will not let you be on this site, additionally, you are not worthy of a collar, and he is gonna burn or give away everything in your suitcase when you walk in the door.......

So, you should rethink this........I think you oughtta pitch this bitch and come to me, where you will get what you always get here......

"On YOUR knees, bitch" , see don't that seem kinda homely now?

LOL, you goof.........really.......

Try to hold yourself together, today, tomorrow, the next day, and the next day.......
you are doing it right now, and I suspect will do it with Master.....

There is nothing you are not gonna be able to withstand......

If you were a man, I would tell you to get a sack....

Since you are not, I will simply say, get ahold of your package.......


NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL .....
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, you're so fuckin' normal.........

You and Yours are OK, sport...


Your Homey,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 8:43:10 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		So - what exactly is it you find so appealing about this Dom that you are going to transform yourself for?



_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 8:48:42 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		cause she couldn't be with you?

Ron
come in here a little late, Ja?

LOLOL

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 9:04:51 PM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		First--congratulations on the next big step in the relationship! Enjoy every single moment!

Second--this is only my opinion, but the heels, etc. sounds much more like the fantasy side of a 24/7 relationship than the realities of everyday life together. They just aren't practical. While they are indeed delicious to dream about, I think you'll find that over time these things will fade in the light of actually living life together (not to mention all the medical problems that come with long-term wearing of heels...shortened calf muscles, back curvature...ick). That said, revel in everything feminine and getting all 'girlied' up for Him!

Third--congrats again! I wish you both all the very best life has to offer.



_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 9:10:21 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Valeca,

My thoughts exactly..........

Don't you think that in about a week, he is gonna be begging her to not spike him with the heels, at least not in public anyway? I mean she is gonna have a collar and heels and all that shit..........
Kinda reminds me of Deputy Dawg and his partner (what was his name.......not Huckleberry hound but .......you know)

LOL,

Ron

Hey!!!!!!!
Pita ------- XO to you and Yours. Many good lucks!!!!

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 10:09:06 PM   
foxglove716


Posts: 648
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		happy birthday pita! *straps on a party hat*

of course you can get used to heels. Practice wearing them around the house. Heels make me feel wonderfully submissive because youre more mindful of your walk, helping you to walk more gracefully. Also, theres no way you can run in heels. Theyre a great bondage/imobilization tool!

The collar thing is a toughie. I have the same feeling. Maybe you could convince him to let you have a "casual friday" and just carry the collar with you instead?

_____________________________

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. -Oscar Wilde

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 10:24:08 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		damn sister, you had 10 whole months to get used to heels...and you left it to the last minute? grin

Seriously though, I assure you, in the next two days every little fear you ever had is going to come up...just keep breathing.

Re the heels again, Im sure if you fall over too much your Master will get you some flats........well unless your skirt comes up when you fall....He could get used to that *grin*

I want a definite time to that you are gonna come on this board and tell us how the meeting went...and if you dont turn up...you are in trouble.

(in reply to foxglove716)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 10:26:21 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

damn sister, you had 10 whole months to get used to heels...and you left it to the last minute? grin

Seriously though, I assure you, in the next two days every little fear you ever had is going to come up...just keep breathing.

Re the heels again, Im sure if you fall over too much your Master will get you some flats........well unless your skirt comes up when you fall....He could get used to that *grin*

I want a definite time to that you are gonna come on this board and tell us how the meeting went...and if you dont turn up...you are in trouble.


LOL everything slavejali said - ditto!!

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Changing - 2/28/2006 11:24:24 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Then there is the issue of my collar. Now, I do love the idea of wearing his collar of course. But, what about my other necklaces? Like my sister just gave me the most beautiful sterling silver necklace and I have a very nice gold cross that I like to wear if I go to church. What do I now do with these? He has given me the impression that I will only be wearing his collar from now on.


Any collar is the symbol of your relationship to your Master and it need not be physical to be in place. One which is worn around the neck is just the visual of the one you wear in your heart. I have a tattoo, so it never needs to be removed but that, too, is just a symbol. Ask him for clarity.. actually, you should ask him for clarity on all these issues, because any advice you get here can and probably will be superceded by Him anyway. He is the one who can answer your questions.

I hope everything you dream comes to fruition, but don't sweat the small stuff, pita.. the big stuff is going to be keeping you very busy.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Changing - 3/1/2006 4:47:51 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you everyone for the happy birthday's *Still don't know how the hell I got to be this old!* and for the advice. It is really appreciated.

Submotive, I am willing to transform myself because he is ohhhh so worth it and I love him so damn much it hurts. Plus he is a wonderful man who deserves to have what he wants and I want to be the one to please him.

Thanks Ron, you always make me laugh and think. I really like being called normal. That is something I have always wanted to be.

BitaTrouble I agree that the collar is in the heart. I feel I already have that one. And if it makes him happy to see a physical one on me 24/7 then I will wear it. I know it will make me feel incredibly special to do so.

Jali....Duh!! You sound like my Joe now. I know I should have been practicing in the heels. I told him he will now have to walk really slow and spot me incase I start to topple over.



< Message edited by Littlepita -- 3/1/2006 4:48:31 AM >

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Changing - 3/1/2006 6:29:13 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Pita, Like you I was never one to wear dress's I wore pants my whole life. About 4 years ago I became sub to a Dom who insisted I wear only dress's or skirts. Never was I allowed to put a pair of pants on again. Well I sure did freak out a bit at first. Me in a dress! I was 44.

Well I went shopping and bought a few skirts and dress's it was strange and uncomfortable at first, I felt weird LOL. But I have to tell you as time went on I got used to them and found I loved dress's and skirts and how wonderful I felt wearing them. Even now I would still rather wear a dress than pants any day.
So don't worry about it. I'll bet you will find also how much you love the way you feel and look in them. I will wait patiently for your post in a few months on how you just love dressing up. ::chuckle::

all my best to you- and * Happy Birthday!*

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 3/1/2006 6:32:19 AM >

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Changing - 3/1/2006 6:32:44 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's a pity you're just NOW realizing these small but important everyday issues. However, that tends to be what happens when you make BIG LIFE CHANGES in a very small time frame.

So ask him- tell him what's important to you and he will decide what happens. That's just how it is. You have told him you accept his judgement and authority- now you have to accept it. That means if he says no more jewelry, that means no more jewelry. Unless you want to make it a hard limit.

As far as the clothes, I thought you'd been practicing with the clothes and shoes? If you haven't, start now. Give yourself time to adjust. And you may in time learn to love the clothes themselves in addition to loving pleasing him with him. In time you may not and just have to deal with it. In time he may find it's not as important or in time he might just stay the same.

It's gonna be a hard bumpy road of adjustment. You've chosen the past of most resistance here, so keep your head down, lines of communication open and ride it out.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Changing - 3/1/2006 8:23:58 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Help!!!!


relax!! the hard part is over--you have found each other!!!! now the challenge~you will find out exactly what a live-in, "real life" relationship with your Dom will be like...

do you practice any form of meditation at all? it has been an instrumental part of keeping this slave's mind focused and has enhanced this slave's calm throughout the day for many years now.

this slave would encourage you to focus on this statement that you made:

quote:

I love him beyond distraction and really do want to please him in all ways. I am looking forward to being trained to be the best submissive I can be for him.


every time one of your worries about heels, or clothing or appropriate jewelry comes up, repeat the above to yourself or out loud.

congratulations on your courage, best wishes for you and your Dom AND happy birthday!!!

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Changing - 3/1/2006 4:52:31 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Hi Little Pita. WOW...Dresses and Skirts? That sounds so nice. I see so many women in Jeans most of the time, it is very refreshing to know someone is going to wear a Skirt, besides me.

If the heels bother you, maybe your Master would let you get a pair of Clunky Shoes (Like my Mary Janes). They are easier to walk in with the big clunky heel, and maybe it would help you get use to having your toes Squashed. I love to wear mine, which isn't much without MADAM. They aren't too hard to walk in, even at 4" high.

As for the Thigh Highs and Garters, you'll get use to them, I did and I'm a Guy......LMCLAO

Maybe Master could get you some conservative School Girl things, so you can be between the world of Jeans and Sexy.

Take care, and Sit Bacj and do Enjoy the ride. Sine you got your Master, you are almost there, with nothing really bad to worry about.

Missing my Black Velvet Mini Skirt, BalletBob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Changing - 3/2/2006 7:31:03 AM   
tendergirl


Posts: 103
Joined: 11/25/2005
Status: offline 		I hope you won't mind me saying to you, but when I first came into this scene, quite a few Doms wanted me to do the same, change.

Then I met a Dom who "liked me just the way I am" to use a quote from Bridget Jones.

I know you are in love and that is great, but what if there is someone out there just as special for you who would require little or no change?


Good luck and God bless you.

tendergirl

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 20
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